Why I'm here....

Since I've always been quick with an opinion an old friend once lost and again found suggested that perhaps I should share with more people my commentary. Never being one to pass on a challenge I thought I'd give it a whirl.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Penguins & Fat People Waddle...

I hate that term! "Fat People". Like who the heck gets to decide whose obese or how much someone should or should not weigh? Some of you are probably saying doctors, right? Don't even get me started on them. Like when you go into the office you have no idea that you weigh more than society believes you should until they tell you. They say it like you should really be shocked.

I personally feel that people should be allowed to enjoy their life regardless of size. It seems to me that people, here in the United States at least have a tendency to put too much infuses on a persons size and not enough on what people have to offer inside.
As for me? I've been all sizes at one time or another. When I was in my late teens and early twenties I was skinny. It came with a price though. I remember one week I didn't eat anything. Seven straight days of water and diet coke and all for the price of wanting to be thin. I'll never do that again. Even then though I wasn't happy with the way I looked. People can always find something to be unhappy about when it comes to their own looks.
The thing I want people to understand though is that most days I feel like everyone else. I don't get up thinking, "wow, I'm heavier than everyone else"! At my heaviest there were problems I had to get past though that reminded me I was heavy. Like office chairs in auto repair shops or doctors offices. They always have arms on them and when you're heavy the first thought that goes through your mind is, "will I fit". Nothing is more embarrassing than not fitting in a chair. Then I don't even want to think about theater seats, or airplane seats. Along with chairs though there are other problems like car seat belts, and maneuvering though crowds. Being heavier than others though isn't just about the issues of size. Along with that issue comes the issue of self-consciences. It's hard not to just hide inside ones own home at times and do nothing. I mean when you're heavy and you go out to eat people look at you differently. Often they watch what you order and heaven forbid you get a desert. What most people don't realize is that not all heavy people are heavy because they constantly stuff their face. There are illness's and other issues that cause these problems. You can ask my family and they will tell you I rarely have ever eaten desert. It's not my thing. As a matter of fact I was rarely eating more than one meal a day and staying heavy. That is because your body needs food to lose weight. Who would have figured. I eat more now that I am losing weight than I ever did. I force myself to eat breakfast (I have always hated breakfast) and I force myself to eat lunch and two snacks a day. I just watch what I eat and make sure I stay within my 2000 mg of salt or close to it a day. I also adhere to the thought process that once or twice a week I let myself indulge in some guilty pleasure foods, so that on the other days I don't cheat and it's easier not to. It would be very easy to never get out and do anything for fear of being judged or fear of people laughing at me. But I want to live life. I'm working on the losing weight thing, but society doesn't even make that easy. Gym's which are made to get in shape and lose weight are filled with skinny people who leave you feeling ill at ease. Either way I have come to the conclusion that I want to run again and even sit Indian style in the floor again some day. I am working on it, but not because I am giving into society's stereo type because most days I feel fine right the way I am. It's because I want to do it for me. I applaud people who don't allow their size to become an issue and stop them from doing things. I did that for a while, but I am bound and determined to live my life.

So no matter what your size, get out and live your life. Go to movies, go to malls, order desert. It's life. And I understand if you're like me most days you feel just like everyone else.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

ok remember in high school when i lost 40 pounds. i went down to a size 8 and was 135 pounds to get in the military. this nurse at the meps station that was like a cow compared to the me back then told me that i was severly obese and she didnt know if they would "let me " in. omg. then when i got preg with tasha i had "let myself go" up to 160pounds. more then likely i was finally back to my normal weight and my body finally let me get pregnate. now a days i care but i just dont care. my need or desire to loose weight is the desire just to wear cooler clothing.......lol for real. oh well one day i will