Why I'm here....

Since I've always been quick with an opinion an old friend once lost and again found suggested that perhaps I should share with more people my commentary. Never being one to pass on a challenge I thought I'd give it a whirl.

Thursday, September 15, 2016

The Blessings we Forget to Count

Every day on this earth is a blessing.  I know so many people who do nothing but mope and complain about their lives.  They have no one to love.  They haven’t gotten enough money or enough time to do this or that.  It’s so easy to complain.  I’ve been a complainer myself on many occasions but through it all I tried to look at the blessings of every day.  I get up out of bed.  I have another opportunity to make my life what I want.  Each new morning is a new beginning to the story of my life.  I can choose to wallow in it or I can dust myself off and make the best of it.  I’m many things but someone who falls and never gets up is not one of them.  I have seen a counselor for many years now.  She helps me talk through my problems.  She gives me someone to complain to that helps me bring forth my true emotions.  It’s funny that I think I now help her too.  I look forward to my and her talks and I think she enjoys them as well.  She’s someone I would never have met if I had not gotten the cancer I had and been down and out about a big hurdle in my life.   Life is funny that way.  I know it’s easy to dwell on the regrets we have in life.  Let’s face it if you’re over 12 you have regrets about things you’ve said or done.  If you say you don’t I’ll call you a liar right to your face!  I’ve done things to people I would never even consider asking them to forgive although many years past and I’m not the same person.  I’ve had things done to me that I will willingly forgive, but that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten.  As I’ve gotten older I’ve found that I have come to understand that people generally do not set out to hurt someone else.  They often do it without thought.  I wish I had come to this understanding much earlier in life.  It would have made it so much easier.  Now I take a moment and step back and try to see what that person might have been thinking or seeing when they did what they did.  I had a talk with a family member I had not seen in a long time this past weekend.  He was so angry at an ex in-law that I found it odd.  I could understand his anger.  He felt betrayed and hurt and let down.  She was not at fault all by herself though I found myself pointing out and although he may find her evil I would merely say misguided and hurt herself.  She was not easily accepted into the family and was kind of boasted as a less than welcomed member for the longest time.  Stories were told that hurt her.  I’ve heard both sides and both sides are wrong and right in so many ways.  The thing is it’s the past.  We can’t go back and re-write it.  Either way I understood the pain he had gone through so many years ago.  Life did not deal him a kindly hand.  God did grant him a family of his own though and a woman to put up with all that he could dish out.  God did guide him to seek the truth and walk in the light.  I believe an olive branch would be better to his serving than a baseball bat at this point.  I love both the people I’m talking about more than life. I love all my family.  I used to harbor anger.  I found it will just eat you up and keep you from thinking of what you should be.  I find anger of little use.  Instead of building the anger I try to resolve the pain.  What was done all those years ago can’t be undone.  What happened in a marriage that he and I were not in neither of us will ever truly know and holding ill will when both those parties have moved on is senseless at best.   Again I love my family.  I have not always been the favored niece or welcomed family member by some but I have loved them all the same and always will.  Each day is a new beginning and you choose whether to late hate eat your heart and time away or weather to turn forgiveness and put your troubles in God’s hands.  I know people right now with bigger problems than an old grudge of perceived wrongs.  I have a friend whose fighting breast cancer, one who’s wishing his wife would come back to him from Coma, one who has a cancer on his aorta and has to go to Mayo to get it looked at.  I have a friend whose skin is becoming his enemy as he’s been put in the hospital time and again and a friend who worries as his daughter fights cancer.  There is a family I know that morns the loss of their son this coming weekend and so many others I could go on and on.  Is a squabble that is Thirty years old really worth that time or effort?  Life is so short.  I have my own worries.  My finances need help.  My weight needs to go down.  My house needs cleaned up and organized.  My mother and father and getting older and I may lose them in the near future.  I don’t dwell on that though.  I choose to live in the way things are today.  Not the past and not the future. Be thankful for every moment you have with anyone in your life.  All time is a gift and very precious.   All my aunts and uncles future, present and past were a gift for whatever good they brought into my life.  Be thankful for your life.  It was a gift you should cherish.  Forget old grudges and enjoy the time you have.  It will not be that long until time has come and gone and those things you thought were important will no longer matter.  Be thankful for your blessings.  Know that if you are in my life you are loved.