Why I'm here....

Since I've always been quick with an opinion an old friend once lost and again found suggested that perhaps I should share with more people my commentary. Never being one to pass on a challenge I thought I'd give it a whirl.

Monday, September 7, 2015

The Speed of Dating...



Men are fickle and women are gold diggers.  OK, maybe not really but how often do we hear these things?  I've never been one who understood why there were rules to dating, let alone what they are.  I am definitely different than most people from what I can tell. I suppose that is not a good thing or a bad thing it just is.  I like to make friends with people and once I do they are usually a part of my heart so even if we aren't dating I will chat with them.  This seems to be taboo to most people.  I like to give to people my time, things they like and yes even some times advice they probably don't want or solicit.  It's just who I am.  I love life.  I like doing things with people, but I also like my alone time.  I have never found someone I was willing to give up my freedom for yet.  That in itself I am told is a scary proposition.  I mean because I'm 48 and never went through with a marriage some people assume I wouldn't or I never will.  That is not true.  If I found someone who treated me right and whom I felt I could have a good life with I would have no problem.  I've just mostly dated losers in my life and have not felt obligated to join their train of self destruction and pity.  If you're reading this right now and we used to date you'll have to be the judge of whether that is you or not or whether we just didn't click as more than friends.  I am guessing it won't be that hard for most of you to figure out.  I have also found that some of the guys I have went out with were very quick to judge with very little facts something I've said about my life that they have no knowledge of why I would say that but assume it's wrong.  An example of this is my niece asking me questions she probably should have asked her mother.  I answered them because if you knew her mother you'd know the mother ship needs to beam her back up and the prospect of the information she would have given the poor child is scary at best.  The person I was on a date with though told me it wasn't my place.  No knowledge of the history or abuse or what type of person she is.  Judged, found guilty and put in a category.  I am sort of getting used to that though.  I also was told by that same person that they liked me, but I'm just a little heavier than they would like to date and that although they know I am losing weight and I will they don't want to wait the 18 months for me to get into the shape they would like me at.  I like him, but he needs to grow up and face some facts.  I want a person who will be with me through it all.  We are not promised to be what we are at the time we meet someone all our lives.  We could get sick or be in a disfiguring car accident.  I want someone who loves me.  It's OK to have looks but I know that it's more important to find someone who will be there for you.  Work with you on it.  I would have loved if he'd have started working with me on me and yes he told me multiple times how beautiful I was but I still wasn't good enough for him in his eyes which told me he wasn't right for me.  Good guy, love spending time with him, but I want a man that is there for better or worse.  Is that impossible to find?  I really don't think it is.   I do know I want what I want and until I find it I will keep looking.  If I never find it I'm happy with me.   Another issue with dating is guys wanting to know about my financial stability.  Now when I was younger I sort of got this, but now I'm 48.  my debts or lack there of are not going to be my partners issues.  Whatever we come into with will be our own.  If we choose to share it we do if not I've been paying my own way for thirty years now.  I'm not looking for a man to financially take care of me.  I want a partner in everything that we can do together that involves our time and love.  So today's fast paced dating world which has rules and goes 85 miles per hour will have to back up and understand I'm still stuck at 35 mpg and some pretty old fashioned ideas.  I want to cook for my man.  I want to clean house and go shopping for him.  I want to spend time at the movies with him and go for walks in the park or a local game.  I want him to want to make sure my car is in good shape, my shoulders are rubbed and an arm is there to go around me when I need it.  I don't think I'm asking for that much but then again like I said I really don't think I fit in. Maybe Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars but I'm beginning to think my home planet is Pluto.