Murphy’s law was in full effect on my wedding day. I loved my wedding so don’t get me wrong. It’s very memorable and the only thing that matter to me that day was that Jacob and I were becoming man and wife and we could set out on the next chapter in our story.
I had prayed all week that there wouldn’t be rain. I know that is a risk when you have an outdoor wedding but I was just hopeful it would be sunny. It was to say the least. I knew I had a lot to do, but I planned, or so I thought, for all contingencies. As it turned out it was the hottest day of the year so far. I guess I forgot to pray for cool weather or a nice breeze. Either way we were getting married and I couldn’t have been happier. I truly married a man that God put me with. The man of my dreams. One that accepts me genuinely for who I am.
My day started out alright with me getting plenty of sleep. I didn’t do what they suggest though and eat breakfast. I’m not much on eating when I first get up. I packed my car with what I thought was everything I could possibly need that day and headed out to the park. I found my friends Juanita, Kim and Julee working like busy bees putting up decorations. Originally there were going to be eight people helping but due to a death that week in a co-worker’s family and the extreme heat and personal plans changing it was just the four of us. I quickly realized we were not going to get it done on our own. I sent out an SOS on Facebook and to my brother; however, Murphy decided to step in again. You see I typed them but I never hit send. Took me over thirty minutes to realize that error in my ways. When I did finally send them my brother was on it. He told my nephew and he, his fiancé Hannah & my niece Ashley headed to the park to help with my brother not far behind. At this point it wasn’t long till we were to leave to get makeup and hair done for my wedding. I was about to get headed that way when Murphy stepped in again. It dawned on me that we were missing silverware, napkins, plates and cups. I was almost certain people were not going to want to dig in with their fingers and toes and after looking we couldn’t find them at the pavilion so I headed to the house to look for them. Yup, they were there. On the way I called the hair stylist and advised her we would be running late. They were super accommodating to say the least. Very nice ladies at “The Chop Shop”. I would highly recommend them. We were about forty-minutes behind getting hair and makeup done. I had decided to go with the sunless tanning to give my complexion a help out the night before. It’s not supposed to turn you orange or that is the claim, but there I sat at the beauty shop with them working on hair and me scrubbing my palms and elbows trying to get the yellow/orange hue to be less noticeable. Thankfully that is the only places it had turned orange. At this point I just had to sigh and laugh a little. Murphy certainly was making sure he got to come to the wedding, invited or not. My makeup & hair and my bridesmaid Abby’s got done about 3:40pm. Needless to say we missed the pre-wedding photos we were supposed to be doing at 3pm and the wedding was supposed to start at four. With my hair and makeup done Abby and I headed for the pavilion to get dressed. With 10 minutes till the wedding was to start we started getting dressed. I had to have help from my friend Becky and Abby getting into my dress. It was very hot. Makeup and Hair were trying to last but the curl was failing a little in my hair. We had a few fans but not nearly enough. People kept asking me questions. Like where did I want the cake and where did I want my mom & dad to sit. I answered that 2nd one seven times. Murphy was still with me. Finally, about 4:10pm my maid of honor made it to the pavilion. We were ready to go. I had them go get my dad. I grabbed the paper out of my folder, that was supposed to be my wedding vows, yeah you read that right. I took my dad’s arm and my bridesmaids had made it to the front. I was ready to go. My heart was full as I looked down and saw how handsome my Jacob looked. Murphy could bite me, as long as I was going to be his wife, nothing else mattered. To tell you the truth I was so focused on Jacob I don’t recall seeing my maid of honor or my bridesmaid or his best-woman at all on the walk down the aisle. Jacob took my hands and then moved the veil from over my face. Murphy was there again. The veil kept falling into my face but I still was focused on my love. He also had another little nudge to let me know he was taking this journey with me as Jacob looked down at my engagement ring still on my finger and mouthed: “Where are the rings?”. Sigh, they were in the room at the back of the pavilion in my purse. I quickly turned around and informed my maid of honor. Now I didn’t know it at the time, I found out afterwards that she took this as an opportunity to play Charades. I would love to have seen that. I so wish I had known at the time. She described to me as she was playing out the scene to get Becky to look for the rings behind me. I have no idea what the audience thought or didn’t think and I really don’t care. I’m sure that those who were there for us just wanted us to be married. I did find out someone thought it embarrassing, but that person can have their own opinion. They took no part in planning it, never offered, they didn’t help set up and they surely didn’t stay to help tear down so I personally don’t care. I found it a refreshing way to make sure the moment was memorable. When it came time for the vows my new husband had made sure to put his in a frame and he read the words he had wrote for me. I teared up a little. Most girls dream of their wedding day. They plan it from the time they are old enough to dream until it happens. To tell you the truth until Jacob and I started planning and talking about our wedding I never really gave it much thought. It was something that would or would not occur and I really wasn’t sure what I would want. I’m sure it would have changed since I am an older bride than I would have dreamed of back in those days. What Jacob and I wanted was to have fun. We didn’t care about superstitions or preconceived ideas of how things were supposed to be. I also didn’t want it to be all about what I wanted. I wanted him to have fun as well. Trust me I got all kinds of advice and people telling me along the planning stage about what I must and must not do. If I could give any couple advice it would be to just nod and thank them and then do what you want anyway. As Jacob finished up reading his vows I took my paper which was folded up from my maid of honor and opened it to read. Dear old Murphy slapped me in the face. I had to stifle a laugh because of course he had struck again. I looked at the paper which read: “Things left for the Maid of Honor to do.” This meant my vows I had taken so much time to carefully write was in the back room in the folder still. I folded the paper back over and handed it back to my maid of honor and said: I guess I’m winging it. I tried to follow from memory what I had written. I think I hit most of it quite well. I remember that Murphy got bored at this point and wandered off to see who else he could entertain because I don’t recall him being there anymore that day. It was hot so I think my choice of water and flavors turned out to be a hit. Things didn’t go as planned and were not as organized as I had hoped, but in the end it didn’t matter. I was married to this man that has made me feel so at home in this life finally. The food was good, what little I got of it and I think other than heat people had a nice time. It was too hot for anyone to want to stick around for a long entertaining evening so no games were played and dancing was not going to happen in the heat, but I still thank God for my blessings. I have some wonderful family and friends who were there to support me on my next chapter in life. Everyone but one person gave me compliments on the wedding and my dress. One person told me it was awful and a fiasco. I just shuck my head and remembered in the end the only people’s opinions of that day that mattered were mine and Jacobs and it could have been just he and I there and we still would have gone through with our wedding. He and I had vowed to each other earlier that no matter what June 16, 2018 was going to be the day we were married no matter what we had to do to see it through. We made it. We both agreed we enjoyed our day. We both agreed we will remember it forever and that is what matters.
Special thanks go to:
Juanita Burks. Without you I would never have made it through this all. You were and are my rock and sister.
Julee Bouchie you went way above and beyond and I can never thank you enough for all that you have done.
Kim Daler you are an awesome friend and I appreciate all that you did that day and all that you do every day.
Mr. & Mrs. Burke thanks so much for the Cake and gifts and for making me feel like I’m your daughter and welcoming me into your family with open arms.
Dustin Kissling, I can’t even begin to tell you how much you mean to me. Thank you for making sure my music was there and that you brought that smile that can just brighten up any room or pavilion in this case.
Dakota Short & Ashley Short thank you for being the best niece and nephew anyone could have and for setting up the pavilion and taking pictures. FYI… thank you too Hannah Banana.
Ritchie Short thank you for being an outstanding brother and photographer. You have always been there for me and I will always be there for you. Love you.
Kris Cortez. Thank you for standing up for Jacob and always being there for him.
Sarah, Daphne & Gwyn Digangi – Thanks for welcoming me into your family
Mathew West. Thank you for marrying us and being the best cousin a girl could have. Love you.
Finally, below are the vows as I had written them:
My Vows to Jacob
I Vow to you
All my life I’ve felt as if I never truly belonged. I was looking for that someone I could connect with. Someone who would make me feel like it was ok to be me with no restrictions. Someone who would unconditionally love me.
When we met there was a comfort with you that I have never felt with anyone else. There was a renewed strength in my faith in both the Lord and in Love. My heart was home.
I promise to love you always.
I promise to be your rock & strength when you feel weak.
I promise to lean on you when I need strength because you are whom God chose for me.
I promise to listen with an open mind
I promise to understand your times of anger, sorrow or disappointment
You will never fail me for I will work with you as we are being united as man & wife.
Your happiness, sorrow and anger are mine, as we are one.
I will have days where I’m sad
I will have days where I’m moody
I will get angry and I will cry
This makes you and I both human to do these things
I promise to work with you to make our life happy and righteous
Together you and I will serve the Lord and each other
I will work at our marriage as it is a living thing that requires nourishing
I give you my love always
For me you are the one I want with me till the end of time
I will put you first before all others except my Lord
And my Lord I will give thanks to every day until I die for bringing you to me
I look forward to our journey and where it takes us. I cannot imagine being anywhere else.
With you I am happy and I vow to do my best to make you happy as well.