Saturday, July 31, 2010
So they say you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink… I say throw it in and as it’s trying to get out it’s bound to get some water down and will drink. You think you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, make it hungry. I suppose I’m the old dog in this cliché. I can learn given the appropriate circumstances and prompting but I am very old school in a lot of my thinking and actions. I am the first to admit I know very little about dating or at least the way people think it should go these days. I’m not a game player so I’m not going to pretend to be the feeble or be a damsel in distress to get a mans attention. I have been told by many of my friends that I need to learn to play the game. I need to learn to act uninterested and to use a man to get free dinners and movies and then act unattainable to get his attention. Are you serious? Is this what you men want? You want a woman to play games with you? I guess I will forever more be single then because I won’t play games. I won’t act interested in you or lavish you with attention just to use you to get free food or movies. It isn’t who I am. If I am interested in you I see no reason not to let you know and then you can decide from there whether you’re interested. Let me tell you I personally think a man an idiot for not taking me up on my offer because I know I am more than capable of making him more than happy, but that is something men don’t seem to care about. They don’t care I can cook or that I’m loyal or that I enjoy every aspect of the relationship. They really seem to get flustered that if they act uninterested or tell me they aren’t that I don’t chase them or play some game to try to get them interested in me. I don’t have time for games, nor do I want to play them unless they are the games played between two people in love. To me it seems most of you guys want Barbie Dolls. Good luck with that. Barbie dolls are pretentious and will emasculate you at every turn. They will try to keep you under their foot instead of walking proudly beside you or following your lead. I do so want a relationship with someone I am interested in. There is the other rub now isn’t it? Life often has people interested in people who are not interested in them. Is that like a big karmic joke? You know though out of the last two guys I had relationships of any sort with I wasn’t really interested in them when I first met them and couldn’t see myself being interested in them. I mean the one I just had whatever it was I had with when I first met him I thought he was nice but that was it. As I got to know him I began to like him and saw him differently, so guys if a girl isn’t interested at first it doesn’t’ mean she won’t be at some point. It’s all about your approach. Being too eager can make her take a step or two back though. I’m just saying. Now as for dating can someone please explain the rules to me? I mean to me proper etiquette says if I ask you out and don’t discuss the payment arrangements of the date with you ahead of times, then I pay for the date. If you ask me out, you do. Has this changed? I mean I don’t mind going half and half with a guy. I don’t mind paying part or even taking him out every once in a while, but I would like to have it discussed with me. I recently went out on a date where I ended up spending money I wasn’t expecting to and it left me in a really tight financial crunch for the week. I wouldn’t have minded if it had been discussed, but it did bother me somewhat that it wasn’t. I’m just asking because I obviously don’t have a clue anymore about anything in the dating world. Also what point in the dating relationship do you see sex as being an approachable subject? I really find it offensive if it’s on the first date. Am I wrong again? Anyway I suppose I’m just a little on the old fashioned side. I like my doors opened, my chair pulled out and I like the man to order for me. He might ask me what I want, but when the waiter comes I like when a man orders for me. What can I say; I’m a romantic at heart. I’m the type of woman that if I go to a cookout or a party with a man then yes I will be waiting on him. I will go get him something to drink or eat and I will be where he can see me at all times if not right by his side. I’m also the type of girl that once I start dating a man I want him to be secure in our relationship so sorry guys if you’re straight and my friend I’m probably not going to be texting, emailing or calling you. I will probably delete all records of anything before this guy out of my email and my life. As a friend said, if I am not comfortable when my guy walks up to me then whatever I’m doing is wrong. I believe that. So what it comes down to is that cookies are what they are and so am I. I don’t know how to be anyone else. I’m not sure I’d want to be. It’s an adventure to say the least. One that has me down a little because I feel like giving up, but I will keep trying, because you just never really know if love is right around the corner or not.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
It's no secret that me and technology are not friends. My friends that are into it though keep dragging and pulling me by the hair to get me caught up. I guess I'm just not overly fond of it. I mean I am one of those people, that although I have gotten use to my cellphone I dream of days gone by when you could actually escape away from everyone to places where you could not be reached. Remember going on vacation and not talking to friends and family while gone? Not to mention that I think a great romantic get away would be to go off to a cabin together with no cellphones, no televisions, no computers. Wow! I know I'm going crazy here aren't I? I just think that sometimes technology goes a little over board. I mean when you're sitting at a table with someone and you're texting them rather than talk to them there is a big problem if you ask me. Now, I have to admit to having done it if I wanted to say something private, but our kids are doing it just because it's how they communicate, so what is the harm? They are forgetting how to communicate face to face. I actually heard a radio spoof about a man whose daughter brought him his cell phone (local DJ) then went back up stairs to her room and text him the question of when dinner would be. Couldn't she have just walked down and asked him? So I finally entered into the WEB CAM game. I bought one, a cheap one to start. I didn't want to invest a lot of money until I found out if I liked it. So the verdict is I like it. It's kind of fun to be able to see the person you're talking to and have them see you, but it does have it's draw backs too. It has definitely added another layer to the online dating thing. I mean this way you can ask them if they have a cam and you can offer yours and you can see before you meet what they actually look like. What a concept. Yes the pictures on this post were taken with the web cam. The one that is blurry was my first attempt. I am getting better. So what are your opinions of modern technology? What about WEB Cam's? Do you own one? Would you want one? What ways do you think they are good or not good?
Sunday, July 11, 2010
I think all of us have been seated upon a pedestal that someone has placed us on at one time or another. It’s really not a very comfortable position to be in no matter how much one might think it is. The person on the pedestal knows that sooner or later they’ll either be knocked or fall off and then in the eyes of the person that held them there they will somehow be a little less. I had this happen to me recently. I was held in high esteem by someone and had a moment of human weakness. Now that person treats me so differently it’s not even funny, which in some ways knocked them off the pedestal I had placed them on. It is a form of irony, so what can one really say? Sometimes when I know someone is holding me too high up I almost want to run before it ever even becomes a friendship. I don’t run though because I have found in life that you should always take a chance and live and have fun when you can. It can lead to heart ache, but then how much fun is it sitting at home alone on the sofa watching life just passes by you? I do have a little bit of a mean streak in me though. I mean, I know I am a fun person to be around according to most and I have a good time when I am with people, but I can be a little re-active. Yeah that is a good word for it. Example: I met this guy last weekend. He asked for my number, I didn’t sleep with him so I figured fifty-fifty on whether I’d ever hear from him. So he text me and asked me if I wanted to do something Sunday. Not one text but multiple text right up until 6pm to set this all up. Never sent the final text never came. Then the next morning I get an, oh, sorry I was drinking and lost track of time. Then this guy had the nerve to send me another text asking me if I wanted to go out on Monday night and tell me he was eating breakfast with his dad. Was he serious? So yesterday out of the blue I text him a message going wow you know you really need to learn how to follow through message for fun. I think he’d deleted my number and he seemed to have no clue who I was or what I was talking about. He sent me a “What” text message. I simply replied: You’re a big boy and you can figure it out and never responded to the other three text messages he sent trying to figure it out. A little on the mean side, it probably was. What can I say, but that I found it to be a little slice of fun for me? I suppose I really shouldn’t have but then what can I say. I guess I just feel I deserve better than that treatment. I know I feel like I deserve love, which is something life seems to have kept far away from me for far too long. I do believe for the most part though in allowing my friends, family and even ex boyfriends to find happiness and have a good life. I would never interfere in their attempts at doing so. This brings me to another issue. For the record for anyone out there that wants to know I do have self esteem and a little bit of pride, so even if I am interested in you I am not begging, crawling or attempting to sabotage you in any form or fashion to have you. If and when we get together it will be mutuall. I am not one of those soap opera plotters. As a matter of fact, to my dismay I am one of the most honest women I know when it comes to talking to the men in her life. You don’t know how many of my friends have told me I shouldn’t be so honest and I should play hard to get because it’s a game for a guy and they need the game. I guess I’ll stay single then because I don’t play games that the two of us haven’t agreed to ahead of time. I can keep a man smiling though. LOL… Some of you will never know what I mean by that. There are problems with pride in our humanity. It can get in our way and keep us from pulling close to those things that we most desire. This is one article I could probably keep going for an eternity because it is something I believe in. I believe in our humanity to make us unique and interesting. I believe in our pride to keep us humble. I guess you could say I just simply believe in the pride and problems of being human.
Monday, July 5, 2010
So after a long break from the dating world I decided to give it a whirl a few months back. It has been an interesting adventure to say the least. The dating game has changed over the years that I took myself out of it. Did you know that “hooking up” is now terminology for get together to have sex? Funny when I say it I mean lets do lunch or dinner or a movie. People also now have a more open concept to when sex should be started in a relationship. I for one don’t think it should be on the first date. So I decided to check out some of the websites out there for singles. The three I chose to check out where “ZOOKS” on face book, www.LatinoPeopleMeet.com and www.plentyoffish.com which is a free website. The “ZOOKS” website and “Latino People” both charge you a monthly service fee to utilize their websites. I doubt I will be a member for more than one month on either of the chargeable sites. I haven’t found them to be much different than the one that is free so why bother. I tried “ZOOKS” simply because it was connected to face book. On it I have only found one guy that I would consider relationship interest to me, but did find one that is a friend interest so I guess it has been worth it on that. On Latino People I have found several prospects but so far nothing that has come to have anything come of it. I joined that site because Latin mean get my blood to pumping. Unfortunately a lot of the guys on there don’t get that a woman might be on that website because she’s looking for Latin men, but then I guess the men could say the same about the women. I’m not Latin. When I first signed up, the first website I signed up for was Plenty of Fish. What an awful name first of all. Shouldn’t we women be offended? I guess I’m over it though because I have had seven dates in the last two weeks off that site. When I first signed up for the site though I sort of felt like fresh bait in a piranha tank. I couldn’t believe how quickly and how many emails I got. I started out trying to be friendly for niceness sake with anyone who emailed me. Trust me when I say I’ve gotten over that rather quickly as I was asked a bunch of things I really don’t find polite conversation. It’s amazing though how asked by one can offend you and by another not so much. I guess human nature that if someone attractive asks it doesn’t sound as bad? That is bad isn’t it? What kills me though is one guy I had great emails going on with I gave my cell number and the first thing he did was send me a picture of himself in a Speedo. Let me tell you this guy should NEVER be seen in a Speedo and I guess his sending me that picture should have been a clue to run right then and there. Since he and I had such good emailing conversations before that though I tried to look past the ugly picture that was now embedded in my mind. I mean after all personality can make people who may not be that attractive, attractive to me. So what happens. This guy not only tells me he wears a size sixteen shoe and he hopes “size” isn’t a problem for me, but then he tells me he has a “lip” fetish and likes them big (no he wasn’t talking about the ones on my face, I know sick right?). Oh and get this… the final icing on this guys cake was that he told me he had to sleep with me to find out if there was a possibility of a second date. Say what? What a conceited, selfish, idiot this guy was. He’s a fireman in Elkhart too. Feel sorry for them. At least he really was good at putting out fires cause I wanted him before he revealed himself to be the big jerk that he was. Fire successfully put out. Good job Mr. Fireman. Then there was a twenty-one year old guy who wanted to VTEXT me naked pictures of himself so I could see if I wanted to screw him or not because he definitely wanted to hook up with me. First of all he’s young enough to be my son, secondly I’m not sure that is a good foundation for a relationship, of course I really don’t think he was looking for a relationship. Then there is this one that seems really sweet and all, but I’m thinking he has a wife or a girlfriend. He’s never on in the evenings or weekends… .only seems to be on from work. I’m thinking what is wrong with that picture? My over all opinion though.. I think it is possible that on one of these sites one could find a good relationship. I had a very enjoyable dinner on Thursday night with a man and laughed and laughed. On Friday night I enjoyed the company of a very nice man as well. So I guess they do exists. I also met someone not on the website… Not sure any of them are the one but I guess time will tell. I don’t really see a reason to pay a website with a free one out there though. I also think there are some old fashioned ways that are still good to find a date. At least on Plenty of Fish you know right up front whether the person has kids and whether they want more or not. For me that is a big issue right there. I mean if I never have children I am fine with it, but if I get with a guy that wants kids then he needs to know one or two at the most at my age. There are lots more guys I could tell you about on these dating sites and I am sure they have their own war stories, but for now I am going to give it a little more time and see what happens. I will update you as I go along. As they say for now I guess I will keep fishing and see if anything nips at the bait. Again, plenty of what?