Saturday, July 27, 2013
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
So it’s been a bit since I’ve written anything. I’m trying really hard to hold my tongue on certain things but I am not real good at holding my tongue as my friends know. I am stressing big time because I love my niece and nephew very much and I don’t think they should have to see half of what they have seen with their mother. They have had to grow up way too fast. Now she’s pitting them against each other to further her own selfish agenda. It’s sad it really is. A mother is suppose to love her children unconditionally. A mother is suppose to put their needs before her own. To tell you the truth I’m conflicted. I don’t want to believe she’s this selfish; perhaps she’s just delusional and needs to be institutionalized? Money is what they are to her not children. Who is like that? Any sympathy or any love I had for her she is destroying. I don’t want to see her. I don’t want to be around her and I don’t know what I would do if she were around me. That is hard. I’ve always until recently stood up for her. I’ve told my family they should do what Jesus would do and show her kindness and love. I’ve treated her with nothing but respect and love and she returns it with bitter ends that she has to know would hurt me to the core. She can’t be happy. Who would be happy knowing they are destroying their own children’s lives? Who would be happy knowing they are making a mockery of the institution of motherhood? I know I should pray for her but I need prayer myself because I’ve only hated one other time in my life and it’s not a good feeling to hate. She’s no longer welcome in my life on any level. She’s not welcome at my house and she’s not welcome in my heart. She’s a cold, bitter person who one day will wake up and have no one and no one to blame but herself. She had a good person in her life she was dating and she threw that away too. She must be determined to destroy herself. Her dad who is dead would be so ashamed of her. I thought he meant something to her. If he could see her now he would probably want nothing to do with her himself. I’ve talked to her mother and she seems so sad. I feel badly for her because she can’t like what her daughter has become either. I look back on times I shared with her and to me that woman died a long time ago. I don’t get it. It hurts because I loved her. I do still love her but I can’t stand who she is now. She lies and manipulates like no one I’ve ever met. She’s good at that. So perhaps that is her game. She is so dead set on proving to the world that her son is a threat to them. He’s not. I’ve never met a more compassionate child in my life. He loves all people and all animals. He is angry at her and he says things children will say that he shouldn’t, but he’s not a threat to anyone. I really wonder how she even gets out of bed in the morning. I have been her advocate in my family for so long saying she can change, she’s probably not as bad as you think. Not anymore. She has no sanctuary in me. I know she can and probably will read this. If she does she knows she can put a stop to this. She needs to put a stop to her antics and she needs to stop hurting her children. She may get away with it in this life, but the Lord does not take kindly in the afterlife to those that have hurt the little children.