Why I'm here....

Since I've always been quick with an opinion an old friend once lost and again found suggested that perhaps I should share with more people my commentary. Never being one to pass on a challenge I thought I'd give it a whirl.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Innocent Times

I know we've all heard the phrase "The good old days". Well looking back over my childhood, even though there were bumps in the road, they were really the good old days. What amazes me is that today's youth think they are better off than we are because they have their Nintendo WII systems and their cellphones and lets not forget cable, but I think we had it ten times better than them. We didn't get a lot of material items and guess what... we really didn't want a lot of them either. In the days of my childhood growing up we played with the neighborhood kids and as long as there was no blood shed and you were in by dark all was well at home. Some of my fondest memories are of playing with my brother in the dirt. We would play cowboys and Indians with little figurines or we would make mud pies. We would spend endless hours playing games in a fort made out of lawn chairs and a blanket. We even built a fort or two out of bushes by tunneling into them. We played baseball in the field not far from our house. We road bikes. We were never, nor would we have have dreamed of saying that we were, bored. We had imagination and we felt safe in our little neighborhood there on the Sandpoint Road. There were obstacles, there will always be obstacles. One was an old lady named Nettie who ran the trailer park I grew up in. She was nice enough but she had one heck of mean dog named Benji. That dog hated the color red and would attack if you were wearing it so we learned very early not to. Then there was the fact that this poor woman was senile. She would forget who we were half the time and often walk around the trailer park in her night gown. When her husband died she refused to sell his cars because she said he'd be back in the next life and would want them there. There were other issues, but for the most part we were happy. Our lives were full. More than most children today with all their toys. My mom was a housewife and proud of it. If we were at home we knew she was there. I think that was worth giving up all the fancy stuff in the world. I wonder how many parents realize that their children would rather have time with their parents in reality than all the stuff you could ever buy them. Dad worked hard, but he always found time for us kids. He would get on the floor and play horse with us. Go outside and throw a ball or even at times read to us. Time spent watching television in the evening's was family time. The whole family watched and talked about the shows together as a unit. The only exception to this was basketball nights. Mom and I would head to the back room to watch Hawaii Five-o or whatever might be on while my brother and dad would sit in the living room and watch basketball. If it was a basketball night mom would bake a cake, which was a special treat back then, not the norm. It was special times. At that time basketball wasn't something I cared about. I didn't learn to like basketball until my brother married in ninety-two. My dad was lonely for someone to watch the games with, so I grabbed books and magazines and learned as much as I could. It started out for me as a way to help my dad. Now I'm a bigger basketball nut than my brother, but I don't think anyone could catch up to my dad. He talks basketball constantly and was quiet a good player in his day. I'm still betting at sixty-nine he could take on the best of them. Just the way it is. Either way, as I watch my niece and nephew grow up I worry about their future. Our schools no longer require them to really use their imagination. Lord knows our government wants them to all be mindless sheep and I'm afraid with all the stuff they get that they will lose site of what is important. I think most people have. Times spent with family are way more important than "stuff". I hope they remember that. Our times were innocent times. They were good times. Times I'll likely never forget.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

What I Choose to Believe

Looking back there are so many things I could choose to talk about. Yesterday I posted about my grandmother on my dad's side. Tonight I choose to talk about my grandmother Jezzie. There is no denying that I was closer to my dad's mom. I believe this was just the circumstance of my grandmothers lives though that made this be. My grandmother Jezzie had chosen to marry a man sixteen years older than her with seven children of his own at a very young age. Of course I feel this must mean she loved him a great deal, because what woman would marry into a ready made family of seven living children and go on to have eight children of her own with him? Having so many children though didn't stop the family from growing healthy with much love. My mom speaks often of hard times, but times filled with love. A shinning example that even if money is tight, it doesn't mean life shouldn't be good. My mother is the oldest of my grandmothers eight kids and her youngest brother is a year and one month older than me. That was strange thinking someone so young was my uncle growing up. Didn't seem like an uncle. The woman behind all this seemed very strong and lost her husband to cancer when I was only sixteen months old. She never remarried or even considered the thought and although I know she loved me and I cherish the little purse (surprise, me liking a purse) she gave me when I was around three years old to this day. It hangs on a nail on my screened porch. My grandmothers home was always filled with children. Tons of them. Always grand kids and great grand kids around. So many so that I know she was spread thin. The sad thing is unlike my dad's mom, other than in a "visitation" in my dreams to tell me all would be fine when I had a rough patch with my brother, I can't recall ever just sitting and talking to her. I can't remember one time when it was just her and I talking. I have spoken with her in my dreams though. I suppose my way of working through my life's desire to turn back time and not be that naive child that didn't know that time was precious. That child that didn't know that you may have rough times and hard times but each moment we spend with someone we love should be cherished. My grandmother Lula died in November of eighty-three and we had not even had time to process that when in January of eighty-four we found out my grandmother Jezzie had cancer. Cancer is such a scary word. It's almost like you are telling someone they have a death sentence. We all know it can be beat, but rarely is it seems. Sadly the cancer isn't what killed her in the end though. I know what an odd thing to say. Let me explain. My grandmother beat the odds. She beat her cancer. Yet she was very weak from having had all the treatments. That is one of the bad things about the Kemo, it takes your immune system and your strength and it takes a while for it to come back to you. In November of eighty-four I had what I call my "Prophetic" dreams, which warned me of her pending demise around my birthday that next year. My birthday is June 27Th and in 1985 I would be turning 18. I told my dad about my dreams. I told him I thought my grandmother would die on my birthday. Now remember at this time she's testing clean and just needs to rebuild her strength. My dad has never really acknowledged my dreams that I have. My family is very religious and I don't know if they believe in my dreams or not. I do. I believe he did even though he didn't want to. I took the call the morning of June 26Th letting us know my grandmother had passed away. She had been in the hospital for having fallen and broken her hip. An orderly thought because she was tiny that he could lift her with no help (which they are not suppose to do) and he dropped her. The bruising from that caused a blood clot that went to her lungs and killed her. Before she died she asked that the orderly not be blamed. My youngest uncle went from being a 19 year old living with his mother that day to wondering what he was going to do and how he would live. His brothers so wrongly went through the stuff in the house he lived in with her and divided out the stuff. That is just wrong on so many levels. I can't even begin to imagine what demons he's had to try to work through over the years. I live with the regret that I didn't have that one on one conversation with my grandmother to this day. Yet, we can't turn back time and I choose to believe that she understood I was a young naive girl who loved her dearly. What I choose to believe is that I have seen her since her death in my dreams and that I have fulfilled that one on one time there. Sometimes it's all about what we choose to believe. Either way live life to the fullest no matter what. Enjoy it. Cherish it. Be happy with it no matter what it has chosen to deal you. It's all in how you deal. I know somethings suck, but you never walk alone and there is never a day where there is not something in your life that you shouldn't be grateful for and feel blessed for. Again.. Happy Holidays!

A Very UN-Merry Christmas...

Yesterday my family and I celebrated the holidays as did many. It was just my dad, mom, brother, niece and nephew and myself. The day went off without any conflict and all had good food and good times. We celebrated my niece and nephews birthdays as well. All seemed well. I could not help but notice the date that Thanksgiving fell on. November 27Th was the day my grandmother, Lula, died in 1983. Yes, it was the silver anniversary of the first death to bring me emotionally to my knees. I remember that time so well. I suppose everyone remembers in great detail that first death that takes their breath away and brings them to a realization that some day they too would be cold and lifeless and lying in a casket for family and friends to pay their respects to. Respect? That seemed like such an odd word to me at the time. I was sixteen years old. No one in my life that I cared anything about had died until that time. There were so many things she wouldn't be a part of or see. My high school graduation, the family I may have and many other life altering times. To this day I still recall how alone I felt on that journey through the days leading up to and after her death. My grandmother had been in the hospital for a couple of months when she died. The doctors basically said she had lost the will to live. She told everyone that her beloved husband who had died when my dad was six years old had told her it was time to come home. She loved him completely and never remarried. The day before Thanksgiving we got a call from my uncle letting us know that my grandmother had taken a turn for the worse. He told my dad not to come until after Thanksgiving though. The day after the holiday we set out for Kentucky. I believe it was Lexington where she was if I recall correctly. I remember walking into the hospital and going up the elevator. I remember walking into the waiting room and before anything else was said my uncle said my grandmother was gone. Her brain function had ceased; however, her blood pressure was still up and heart still beating with the help of machines. They would have to wait for her blood pressure to drop to declare her dead. In that time of sitting and waiting, which took a few days, my aunt talked me into going into the room and seeing her. Something I regret I agreed to do to this day. I can't ever get that image out of my mind. She had gone from a full figured woman to skin and bones and all the machines reminded me of some horror movie. I didn't stay long. I couldn't. I also remember very well going to the funeral home and people standing around laughing and talking. I remember feeling so angry that they could do this. I understand now as an adult that they were remembering her and honoring her in the only way they knew how. I remember the funeral and sitting by myself for the most part. My mother comforting my dad. No one knowing how it felt for me to have to be strong, when all I wanted was to break down and cry and have someone reach out comfort to me. I remember it all so vividly as if it were yesterday. It was a catalyst for a downhill emotional roller coaster for me that would last almost a decade before I would pull myself out of it. So today I did my merchandising job at Target. It was very surprising to me how many people were crabby and in such bad moods as they were shopping for gifts for the holiday season. I couldn't help but think what is the point if you're not enjoying it? I mean holiday shopping should be enjoyable and something you want to do, not something that is nothing more than a mere chore. Yet you saw few with smiles on their faces. Most grabbed their purchases and mumbled or complained out loud. Their waits were not long though, for the black Friday sales the Target had all hands on deck and got people out with little wait at all. Then driving to my second job of the night I hear about the Walmart horrors. I mean what the hell is so important that you're willing to trample someone to death for? It just seems to me most people have lost the meaning of the season. I somehow doubt the good Lord is pleased with them. Then there was the poor woman who was trampled and lost her unborn baby. What is this world coming to when you have to worry about being trampled for a sales price item? I some how doubt that these families of tragedy will have a very Merry Christmas, and somehow believe they will have a very UN-merry Christmas. May they find peace. Happy Holidays.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope each and every one of you has a happy and safe Thanksgiving Holiday. May God bless you with good times, family and good food.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Thinking Outside The Box

I know some of you may be getting tired of my reflection on my life; however, my blog, my reflection. My friend Joe is probably smiling at that right now. In this moment in my life I need for whatever reason to reflect. Perhaps that is because I have never felt more human or more vulnerable than I have this year. I know the surgery I'm going to have coming up is common and done often enough that my surgeon is confident that I probably won't even have any bruising on the outside for anyone to see. That doesn't mean I won't have pain, but you won't be able to see the bruises. How ironic is that, that this surgery could be a metaphor for life? I mean we all have scars. Some hidden in our inner emotions. Some scars we share with family and friends. Some scars we wear on our sleeves, but there isn't a one of us out there that doesn't carry a little emotional baggage that we have never shared with anyone outside of perhaps God. The fact that my surgery is common doesn't make it any less scary or any less an item of concern for me that I may not see a tomorrow. I guess none of us are promised that. Today, as I was working on getting my house in order before my surgery, since I won't feel like it while I'm off, I found amusement in some of the things I was cleaning and going through. I remembered a friend telling me once that I was really easy to shop for because I really had no "style" to speak of in design in my house. I thought how right he was and yet how wrong he was. You see I don't have a style of contemporary or country or anything like that. He was correct about anything would fit in my house. My style though is to surround myself with pictures of family and friends. I surround myself with items that give me comfort in the memories they carry. On my wall you will find a picture my aunt Gertie gave me. It's one of kittens in drawers. It probably has no place being on my living room wall, but it is chalked so full of memories of times spent at her home growing up. It hung in her back room and I always loved it. She gave it to me a few years back. There is a trinket box from my Aunt Anna grace that sits on the shelve above my television. There is a globe with yellow roses (my favorite) that my brother gave me when we were kids that sits on a rack of Cd's. There is a flower that sits in my living room from my friend Chris that she sent me when I lost "Snickers" after thirteen years of companionship. There is a vase that I have placed "fake" flowers in, but the card is from flowers bought for me on my last surgery. There is a two dollar bill with a bunny rabbit on it that I bought for my uncle Roger with whom I had a special connection. My aunt gave it back to me after he died to remember him by. It sits on the shelf in my living room as well. The list goes on and on. So to me it doesn't matter that it isn't a style that could be in a magazine or that items might clash. There isn't one item that doesn't hold some memory. Even the assortment of candles that I have (I love candles and burn them often) have some bond or memory attached. I have a tendency to love wholly and for life; although as I have said in the past, sometimes we can love someone and still not be able to have them in our life. This is the reason that in my living room you will also find a teddy bear from my ex. From the one man I loved with all my heart, but couldn't deal with his drinking or lying. The memory of how sweet he was that day he gave me that bear and how sincere that one moment was holds a place in my heart forever. As well as the many items I display I have a ton I keep in boxes. Items of poetry, or letters. I know we keep our memories in our hearts and with us always, but I'm a keeper of emotional items as well. Along with this mismatch of items due to my emotional luggage there is the fact that I will often use items for something that they were not really designed for. I'm an out of the box thinker and you just really never know what you're going to find me using an item for. My bread box on my kitchen counter is a container for my quick meals in case I have to eat on the run. My canister set, which I know is suppose to be on a counter in the kitchen, is on the book shelf in the living room and contains candles so that I have easy access when I need to get one to replace one that is burned out. This is just a part of who I am. To know me is to, well, I guess that is up to the person who knows me. Either way, I hold on to these things and do what I do because I know I am blessed to have known and to know each and every person in my life. Each is unique and special in there own way. I wouldn't trade one day, not the bad or the good. Each thing that happens to us in life builds us into who we are and I like who I am now. I like that after years of struggling to figure it out and years of struggling to like me and get it right, that now I am an honest person. I am a confident person who has made peace with my life. So next time you are down, sad, or thinking that something in life is not the way you want it, just remember it may be a lesson to a brighter path somewhere down the road. It may be what gets you where you want to be. We don't always know why something happens. We can find the flowers among the weeds as they say. So take a chance and think outside the box. I guess that is what I was thinking as I was going through things today. I could feel bad for myself. I could let that fear inside me take over. I am the worlds biggest baby when it comes to pain and surgery. I could let it get me down, but I won't. I choose to think of the coming holiday week. The family and friends that I will see and the years gone by shared with family and friends I can never see in this life again. Never go conventional. Always think outside the box. Happy Holidays!

Thursday, November 20, 2008


I use my favorite lotion Vaseline Aloe Fresh Hydrating because it does a great job of moisturizing my skin and makes it feel refreshed. Today though I went to a doctor and found out I have yet another infection. This really just hasn’t been my year. Anyway, the medication I am taking makes me highly sensitive to alcohol of any form. That means I can’t have it on my skin and I can’t consume it until I’m off of this medication. Approximately ten days. Seven days of taking the medication and then they say it takes three additional days for it to leave your system. Chalk up another life lesson in the making. We use products all the time and never think about what is in them. I just started this medication today. Innocently I put the lotion on my hands at work and boy was that a mistake! My hands looked like they belonged to a Dalmatian. Spots and blotches were everywhere. Then I got these little red bumps and the skin started itching. For a moment I thought I was having another allergic reaction to the medications like I had before. Then it hit me that I had just put lotion on my hands. I read the ingredients and low and behold. Alcohol is one of them. Who would have thought that lotion would have alcohol in it? I mean alcohol dries and the purpose of lotion is to hydrate. Does it make any sense to anyone out there that this product would have alcohol? I did a little Internet surfing and found that a lot of products contain alcohol. Hand soaps and shampoos are examples. So on my lunch trip, which was in a white out from snow, my friend Barb and I went to Walgreen’s in search of some friendly non-alcohol containing products for me. What? Yes, I said “white out”. The snow was falling so hard you couldn’t see the car in front of you. I guess old man winter found us after all. Sucks, doesn’t it? Oh, well. So Barb and I looked and looked and you would be amazed at how hard it was to find these products. With Barb’s suggestion I asked the pharmacists for assistance. We ended up with Keri Original Dry Skin Lotion, Dial Soap and Johnson’s baby shampoo. I’m just thankful as I can be that I found it with the lotion on the desk. Can you just picture what would have happened if I had taken a shower with shampoo and all? I would have itched to death. Luckily I washed off all the old lotion and the cold helped take down the swelling and redness while I was at lunch so for now the spotted fend has been held at the borders of wait until I forget and use one of these products again. Sigh. Ten days. Just have to make it through ten days. Wish me luck!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The Forgotten Holiday

Growing up I remember counting the holidays. They all made perfect sense to me. Although January didn't have any holidays. Some months seemed pretty dry. I remember going in stores and looking at each and every holiday display. Never seemed to get tired of them because none of them were up for that long. In today's commercial press to get every dollar that they can out of people, stores have somehow started to take the fun out of the holidays. I mean Heck you see forth of July crap in March and Christmas stuff you now start seeing in September. Not to mention the foods you had to wait to only have at the holidays they now sell all year round, so what is the purpose. I remember waiting and waiting for Cadbury eggs and Peeps. Now though you see them all the time. By the time the actual holidays get here you are so sick of hearing about them you want to scream. I personally think they should have a law that says no store can put anything up prior to thirty five days before the holiday. That would give them a few days to get it up and a month to display the items. I know one supervisor who said they need the time to get it up. I say hog wash. Pay people to come in and do it when the store is closed. Double bonus there! I mean I don't have to walk down the messy isle when you're putting it up and I don't have to see it for three months before the holiday either. With all this push holidays that don't make money are no longer on the list of things stores care about. I believe this kind of pushes the family values back to. I mean the only push you will see for Thanksgiving is the turkey and food sales. You can barely find anything in the stores to let you even know Thanksgiving is coming and why? Because they are more worried about Christmas. So the meaning of the holiday of Thanksgiving is lost. No stories of Pilgrims or shows on TV or toys for the little ones of this time. No displays to be put up, nothing in the store that says count your blessings for what you have. No ads that say "What are you thankful for?". Even the meaning of Christmas to these stores is nothing more than a money making opportunity. I understand they are in business to make money, but I really think that the holidays need to be less commercial profit and a little more old school. People in this day of cell phones and computers have forgotten the joy of sitting on the porch. They have forgotten that sitting around talking with family and friends and eating a good meal, beats bar hopping and boozing any day of the week and twice on Sunday. To me a holiday is a day to put away the lap top and the cell phone while with family. Do you know how rude it is to be texting or answering your phone when you are with someone who cares about you there in the moment of the holiday? Now I understand if that is the only communication with your family wanting those text or calls, but if you ware sitting around a table giving blessings for your food then your phone, lap top or thoughts of parties gone wild have no place there. It amazes me how much people don't really appreciate what they have. They are always looking for more. Sometimes so much more that they don't see what they have until it's too late. So with the rush from the stores, I stop and wonder about the forgotten Thanksgiving Holiday. To some it's no more than a day or two more off work. To others who won't be sitting around the table with their loved ones because they are far away or no longer with us, they realize the importance of recognizing the blessing of each day. So this year take a moment and tell those you are with, that you care and appreciate the times spent with them. Even the times when you sit with a cup of coffee and they are across the table and not a word is said. Someday they may not be there at all. Don't forget to give thanks for all you have, for it may not be there tomorrow. That is just my opinion though. Take it or leave it. Happy Holidays!

Monday, November 17, 2008

Double Take

Sometimes office humor can make you look twice. It always makes me smile though!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

A Little Perspective

The good Lord knows what he's doing. Even when we may not think He does. I had one of "THOSE" days today. It felt like everything was all down hill. Started with the magazine truck being late, putting my day behind. Then it went to trying the organic veggie hot dogs (DON"T DO IT!) that were recommended for my new attempt at a healthier life. Trust me when I say that is an experience I'm not likely to forget soon. Only seven hours sleep last night and I'm a nine hour or have a pot of coffee ready type of gal. Then I was off to my ENT Dr. Schreck. This guy seems really nice. He's got a sense of humor and he's thorough when answering questions. I don't usually really like doctors very well from past experience, but I give this guy an A+. My appointment was for two in the afternoon and I got in right at two, so I figured my day must be looking up. It was to some degree. No news of cancer or anything else frightening to that effect. I got to see my CT Scan. How cool is that? How many of you can say you've seen the inside of your head? I thought it was cool. Then my day went back the way it goes. The doctor showed me what a regular CT scan might look like, then he showed me mine. Ouch! OK, so I have no nasal cavity path on the right side. Do I need one? So it's now pushed over into the left side and is causing me breathing issues and sinus issues. Along with headaches and sore throats and a whole bunch of things. My inside nasal cavity actually looks like it's Playdoh and it looks like someone punched it on the right side. Yep shoved everything over into my left nasal cavity and up into my upper sinus path. It explains a lot. Good news per the doctor is they can fix it. Do it all the time it seems. Seems it's not so uncommon. They will remove the growth or protrusion and they will trim back the nasal cavity and shove everything back where it belongs. Yep, you guessed it. Surgery. Up through the nostrils. Doc didn't pull any punches either. Basically this is gonna hurt like hell, but really really be worth it. OK. Need to let that sink in a bit. They will basically reconstruct on the inside then put splints in. Then seven days of pain and agony and about the time I feel better I get to go back so they can yank the splints out and put me back in pain. Hum. I get to pay for this too. Well, Insurance and I. Only about a week to two weeks off work. My guess is I'll sleep through it all if I can. So off to work I went. Walking down the long hallway, to get my water as usual, and there was my perspective on the day. I was feeling bad for myself. Really kind of bummed. Surgery of any kind is surgery. It scares me to death. Then those of you that know me know that I'm a walking pharmacy because pain and I just don't get along. Yet right there on the wall was my reason to stop feeling sorry for myself and face that life could have dealt me a worse blow than this. A thirty year old man (who worked in our building), married with four young children, died from complications from his diabetes. Reality check was that this poor woman with four small children had lost her companion. Her heart must be breaking and the fear of how to raise four babies with out him must be overwhelming. So as bad a day as I was having it was nothing. It put a spin on my emotional roller coaster ride that put me back to thinking it really isn't that bad. A little perspective in life is all we need sometimes.

PS.. No the picture is not my CT Scan. Maybe I'll see if I can get that one to put up here but this is just an example one off the net.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Suicide Prevention Walk - By: Kelli Gunder

The suicide prevention walk was a total success for the surviving families and friends of suicide(at least I feel it was)

First off, I raised $90 ($40 , I donated myself) for the cause..THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.
It is a difficult time with this economy to get anyone to donate.Turns out that we raised @ $30,000 that will go towards counseling and prevention of suicide.

The weekend started off very badly. Nothing but rain and wind (East Chicago) so there was a concern about the walk being cancelled.

There were so many families and friends of the deceased there with posters, pictures, tee shirts, small children in strollers to the elderly that were being pushed in wheel chairs. It was very touching to know that even though our loved ones are gone in body that they are not gone in spirit.

So, like I said, we had miserable weather. According to the news they were about to put Munster on evacuation notice due to flooding. But to our surprise we made it to the walk and stormed the weather.

It was scary to know that I was thinking about myself getting wet and rained on and maybe getting sick when all of these survivors of suicide were braving the weather right beside me, I needed an attitude adjustment. So with all the rain coming down and all the folks holding the banners and signs,and pictures( and umbrellas )of the loved ones,(no one complaining @ weather out loud) we started the 3 mile walk around the lake. No sooner did started walking with umbrellas, raincoats and ponchos etc.........THE RAIN AND WIND STOPPED..........that was my attitude adjustment/reality check. We even had a small peek of sunshine.

So the walk ended and we start to leave the park to return to everyday living again, it starts to rain again, even harder now........WOW...........but everyone is thankful that it stopped raining long enough to walk the lake. Now comes the 4 hour ride home to Fort Wayne in the pouring rain..... we get on I80-90 toll road and we see the opposite direction has MAJOR congestion for as far as we can see, as a matter of fact, we were traveling uphill onto off ramps and merges and we were still hydroplaning (looked like we were driving up a small waterfall) We made it home safely (and it was still raining in Fort Wayne) They ended up shutting down the toll road due to high water(not until we were safely off it, thankfully)

I'm still not sure why it stopped raining just long enough for everyone to finish the walk. Was someone looking down on us? Giving us a break? Or why the toll road didn't get shut down until we were done using it.

I do know that I met A LOT of wonderful people from different ethnic groups, political views, ages, rich, poor, the list can go on and on............

I learned a humbling lesson with this fundraiser

I am BLESSED to have the life I have
I may have a bad day
I may get sick
I may get well
I may get enlightened
I may be distressed
I may be depressed or sad
I may be happy

Any way you look at it.......ITS MY DAY.............and I am alive spiritually and physically

Thanks for all the support........
Kelli Gunder

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Think Spring! That's An Order!

***********Indianapolis Bear Exhibit**************

Things That Make You Go Ahhhhh!

Winter found us. Knew it would. I'm thankful that it waited this long and gave us an extended warmth through October. We truly have been blessed. So why did I feel so blah today as I drove to work and a couple of snow flakes hit my windshield. No matter how much I prepare I am just never ready for winter. It seems like in the winter I can never get the cold out of my bones. I never get enough sleep for my body in the winter. My arthritis hurts more due to the cold moist weather. My mood drops. Of course on the good side of winter it does so make me appreciate the spring and summer so much more. I always say I will never ever complain about how hot it is in the summer because it's much more appreciated than the winter morose. As much as you have wet weather from the snow on the ground though, the air itself becomes very dry. The humidity is low and the winds are often blowing. It goes without saying this is not a loving, nurturing environment to the skin. The skin can become dry and cracked and painful. Water is not the answer even though your skin needs moisture. An example of this is found in when we get into the hot shower. It feels good on our skin, but often depletes the skin of the moisture and dehydrates it. So the best medicine for the skin is to drink lots of water to replenish the skin from the inside and to find a moisturizer that you are comfortable with placing on your skin several times throughout the day. You can not just use the lotion or moisturizer in the morning and at night. This will not be enough to keep you from getting dry and often chaffed skin. If you are a caffeine beverage drinker you need even more moisture since the caffeine is a natural diuretic. So one of my favorite moisturizers is Vaseline Aloe Fresh Hydrating body lotion with aloe & cucumber. You can actually feel the moisture sinking into your skin and it's not greasy. There is nothing worse than a greasy lotion. I recommend that you at least try it. If you know me I can let you try it since I have one in my purse, one in my car, one at home and one at work. If you don't most of the stores in the travel sections have sample sizes you can try. Either way find something to nourish your skin and avoid one of the other down falls of the winter weather which is dry, chaffed and irritated skin. A wonderful way to enjoy the moisturizers you can find out there is to get a warmer for them. They sell them in several local stores. When that warm lotion hits your hands you automatically sigh with relief. Anyway think about the beautiful colors of the flowers in spring and before you know it the winter will be done and another season upon us. Sigh. Twenty-nine is the low for tonight from what I hear. I guess old man winter is settling in.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Gotta Get a Man ---- NOT!

Calling on All SINGLE or even married WOMEN who voted for Barack Obama. Per the Pat White show today on WOWO we apparently only voted for Barack because we wanted a man to take care of us! You heard it correctly. As I was enjoying what is suppose to be the last gorgeous day of the season and taking a walk which I am happy to report I've only missed three times since I started these walking sessions, I was listening to WOWO. As I've said I often enjoy listening to the programs with the exception of I refuse to listen to Rush Limbaugh. Now don't go beating up on poor Pat White. He didn't say this himself, but a bunch of egotistical Neanderthal men who called into his program, along with one woman who was apparently brain washed by her Neanderthal husband, called into his show to answer a question he put out there. The question was why did seventy percent of single women vote for Barack Obama while only twenty-nine percent voted for John (The Maverick) McCain. Now they went on to talk about some poor misguided woman who commented that Barack would be there to fill her gas tank and pay her mortgage and she didn't need to worry about that anymore. I'm not sure what context she meant it in, but I'm pretty sure any mention of that by Barack Obama was metaphorical in the sense that he's going to help straighten and strengthen the economy. He didn't mean he would literally put gas in the woman's tank or actually come pay her mortgage. So as usual they picked the one person to speak for all of us. I can't speak for all of us. No one can, but I felt it pretty ironic that these men were making the point for me better than if I called in why I and at least two of my other single female friends I know did vote for Barack Obama. We understand a little something about oppression. We understand how it feels to be held back or told how we should feel or think because we are women. Any group that is discriminated against understand this. Be it handicapped, gay, women, black, Indian or what have you. We understand that the mans skin color has nothing to do with the reason we voted for him. We understand that his looks (which don't do anything for me) is not the reason we voted for him. We understand that we don't want a man or the government to take care of us. That is not why he got our vote. I like to think I have intelligence on some level. This being I am capable of weighing the issues for myself. This one man on the program said the reason more married women voted for McCain was because their husbands were there to guide them and tell them how to vote and us poor misguided single women didn't have a man to help us make an informed decision. He also said that he was pretty sure most of us single women were lower class and low pay. I don't think I fit either of those categories. I know for certain I made my decision based on the facts. Hillary is who I wanted to be in the White House. Just the way it is people. Don't hold it against me please. As in that she wasn't running I looked at the other choices. McCain would have been the same of what we have and that is obvious to me that it isn't working. By the large win of Barack Obama I think it's obvious to a lot of people the way things were going were not working. Why do I think all these single women voted the way they did? Because we can review the issues. Because we often have the time to do the work and check the facts. Because we are not dependant on a man or anyone else we educate ourselves on what is going on and look for the answers. Did I see something that told me Barack was the answer. No, can't say I did. He sounded okay to me but I would be lying if I said at first he was my pick. What I knew though was I under no circumstance wanted someone like Sarah Palin in power. She didn't even have enough class and composer to make it through the campaign in support of the very person she was running with. As a matter of fact in my opinion she has no class, but then again that is just my opinion. I think Senator McCain has a lot of class and I believe he's probably a very nice guy. He's an older guy though that probably would not have lived through his term. So even if it were not for the same old policies, that again were not working, I wouldn't have voted for him because Sarah Palin would have become president when he died. As a single woman I think I'm more willing to take risk. I would rather walk into the unknown and the uncertain than keep walking down a path towards a raging storm. Sometimes the known is more scary than what isn't known. At least to me. As single women we make these decisions for ourselves and our families. We know the struggles of paying all the bills by ourselves. We know the struggles of working in a mans world as a single woman. So how dare these red neck men say it's because we want Barack Obama to take care of us. Sure we want to be secure in our jobs, but then again my guess is so do a lot of men. Here in Indiana Barack won by four percent and that is over sixty thousand votes. Something no one had done in a long time. They turned Indiana into a blue state this election. So I am calling on all women who feel so inclined to write into the Pat White show, or WOWO and express your reasoning or give your feed back on why a single woman or why any woman might vote for Barack Obama. I mean after all I know you have a mind of your own, I do, even if the men who called into this program couldn't buy a clue if they were millionaires.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

What an Amazing Night!

One might call it a bend in the road. A venture into the great unknown. Amazing at best is what I would say. Such a loud cry of the American people and the American voice. It's a new course and a venture for all. Some are not happy, others wept. I kept an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach? most of the day and night. I watched as some of my co-workers were elated and others bemoaned. What went through my mind at that exact moment that it sunk in that Barack Obama was our next president? Simply, I wonder what Martin Luther King would say? I wonder how many people see this man as great as he is and how many simply label him for the color of his skin. I also believe he's as white as he is black and as pure American as any of the rest of us. The race wasn't about race to me. It was about a fresh start. It was about not staying the course of the Bush administrations failing economic disaster. Either way you wanted the race to go I hope you can all embrace a thought that something new is in our midst. Something new this way comes. Something good I think. So what an amazing night and what a great time for a clean slate.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Boo! You're fired!

So yesterday was Halloween and the above picture is of (Left to right) my niece Ashley, My second cousin Katie, and my nephew Dakota. They were all just as adorable as they could be. I asked Katie if she was a monster and she said: "Yes, but a good monster!" One of the first stops for all of them was of course at my house. Katie was off for her uncle John to take her trick or treating and well, my dad and my brother took my niece and nephew around the neighborhood while my mother and I had fun handing out the treats to the ghosts and lions and goblins that came to the door. Surprisingly we didn't get as many trick or treaters as we normally do. There were only about twenty that came through. It was warm and a good night for it. I'm wondering how much the economy and fear of danger to the children played in the decline this year. I know at my work place several people were told on Thursday through out the country that they were going to be out of jobs. From the sound of things more layoff's are expected in the months ahead. I couldn't help but think of one man who lost his job as a supervisor yesterday. He is knowledgeable, personable, a hard worker (in my opinion) and should not have been the one to go. There were bodies that got very lucky yesterday that should have gone long before him. They should count their lucky stars and their blessings. This man though has five children. He is what I would call one of the good guys. He often speaks of his family with love. He loves his wife and wouldn't ever dream of trading her or his children for anything else. The other person although I don't wish them unemployed and I at times can't help but like them. Doesn't talk with pride about their family but rather missing the days of youth and freedom. I have to believe that God will watch out for the man who lost his job. I have to believe that there is a reason for everything. Wouldn't be so bad if that same man's wife hadn't just lost her job not too far back either. Now neither will be working. So as the trick or treaters started around and everyone went on with their day as if nothing was going on and all was good. I couldn't help but think of those poor people who may be out trying to have fun with their children on Halloween night, yet not knowing how they will support those same children tomorrow. Our economy sucks. It has for a couple of years. I can remember Mr. Bush saying it didn't. It's easy to say it isn't if you aren't there to witness first hand the closing of business's by the loads full.

There is fear at the company I work for by the employees. They fear the upcoming holidays. Will they be employeed into the new year? Will they get their walking papers. It seems sad to me that the world I grew up in doesn't seem to exist anymore. A world where you had company loyalties and people often worked for one company their whole lives. It seems sad that trick or treating may be on it's way to extinction and children some day may not get the opportunity. It's all ready nothing close to what it was when I was growing up. In a time when a group of friends and no adults could walk the surrounding neighborhoods. Where you never heard of bad things like the poor boy who got shot trick or treating last night. Either way Halloween is meant to be a night of spooks, but I guess the thought of laying those people off a day before they are suppose to have a fun evening with their children just kind of leaves me ill. The same way holiday layoff's will leave me ill. Corporate America and Scrooge. Somehow I think the two have become synonimous. Don't you?