Why I'm here....

Since I've always been quick with an opinion an old friend once lost and again found suggested that perhaps I should share with more people my commentary. Never being one to pass on a challenge I thought I'd give it a whirl.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

New Years, My Least Favorite Holiday of All…

It’s no secret to anyone who knows me well that I can’t stand New Years Eve or New Years Day. Never have liked it, may never like it. Try as I might I can’t really rationally put my finger on why either. I guess to me it’s just not a holiday. So the calendar flips over to another year. We actually have a new year each of us on the day we were conceived. Yet we celebrate our birth and the calendar year, but not the conception. I guess it would be a little awkward to celebrate that though wouldn’t it? It seems to me that people take joy in watching time pass by. I guess I can’t say I am a friend of that either in that the passing of time brings the passing of my life. Yet the one thing New Years is is definitely a time to reflect. As far as years go it’s been a long one. Good on so many levels and rough on so many others. With the bad was the passing of an aunt and the struggles of a nephew. There was a loss of a friend but not through death, unless you count the last remnants of hope for this friendship that you held. There was a scare of the threat of breast cancer, only to find that the likely-hood I have it is low. To be continued in 2010 on that one I guess. There was weight loss and friendships found, but even some of those have strings that may unravel. There were good times and revelations. There was definitely a quality of growth on my own part and a desire to finally live for me. There was truth unyielding and unrelentlessness in its endeavor to be heard. So it’s been a year of changes. I guess in a campaign promise that is what we were promised; however, I doubt that is what was meant. It’s been a trying year and a year of joy all in one. For my friends and family I wish the New Year to bring you happiness and peace and joys that know no boundaries. I hope we have more found memories we make and share and I hope you all know you are in my thoughts and prayers and I carry you with me in my heart always. Happy New Year as we welcome in 2010.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

The Spirit of Christmas.

No matter my mood or my problems at Christmas I always take time on Christmas Eve and on Christmas Day to thank the good Lord in Heaven that he is and always shall be the true spirit and meaning of Christmas. His blessings are many although during times of hardship sometimes it is hard to see. Life is never easy for anyone. If you think it is then you need to walk a mile in those people’s shoes because no matter how good someone’s life may seem, everyone does have their own demons to deal with. This year as Christmas approaches I know my family has it’s to deal with. You’ve all watched my posts of frustration. There is a part of me that wants so badly to hate the person causing the grief in our life. I don’t truly hate her though. You see I don’t even think she’s capable of understanding that she is to blame on so many levels no matter how many shrinks she cons into saying otherwise. I really believe she needs to get some help herself and that she needs to devote herself to that. I have been telling her for a long time that her son is angry at her because he isn’t feeling loved by her and definitely doesn’t feel like he rates above his sister or his mother’s girlfriends. I have attempted to understand and not judge because I have loved this woman like a sister for a very long time and it’s hard to believe a betrayal that wounds so deeply. Your mind tries to talk you out of it, but in essence I feel betrayed. I know her son feels betrayed. I have always been sensitive and often know things about people or feelings that they have without them ever having to express them. This woman once asked me if I thought she was a good wife and mother and I avoided answering it because I didn’t want to hurt her by telling her no. Part of me wishes I had, but then that would be spiteful now wouldn’t it? There was also a part of me that hoped she was changing and that she would understand that true love is not selfish. When you love someone you want what is best for them. You don’t know the countless hours I did many shopping trips that took all day, when all I wanted to do was be home, with this woman. It was because I cared. Looking back we pretty much always did what she wanted. As I write this there is actually a small part of my heart aching and breaking at the thought that she’ll read this and be pissed because there is no way it will be read with understanding. Her son needs her to be a good mother. His dad says that is all he wants if it could happen for the happiness of his son. If she can’t devote herself to being a mother for her children’s sake then she needs to give him or them to their dad. She can see them when she likes then at her leisure and devote more time to being their mother when she’s with them. There are so many issues’ there right now and they have me frustrated. I do have some empathy in all this for that person though. Their childhood was far from good in my opinion. I also realize that I am not without my faults so I really don’t want to judge anyone. That is another reason it’s been so hard on me because I do know I have done atrocious things in my life; however, I would never put anyone before a child of mine. Hell I would never put anyone (lover that I take to the Hockey games my son use to get to go to in place of him) in front of my nephew and niece. Their needs come first. They are children. They didn’t ask to be born. They will only be small for a short period of time and they need to be allowed to have a childhood that is good. Not one with coming home to their mom after summer break for her to be in bed with some strange person she met on the internet. There are all kinds of issues here that need to be addressed, but I am only a person on the outside looking in. Legally I can’t do anything about it or trust me I would. So I am sorry if my post as of late has been somewhat a downer. I don’t mean for them to be. I really am thankful for much more than it appears. I have good friends and a good job. I have the best brother a person could ask for and a loving and caring mom and dad. I had a childhood where I was loved. I will be surrounded by loved ones all weekend and will have family and friends to ring in the New Year with. I do have a lot of blessings. I am also thankful that God sent his son so long ago for me to have the opportunity to repent and find salvation. My wish for everyone, more than getting presents, is that tomorrow and Friday you feel the love that is Christmas all around you and that you take a moment to pray for those that don’t. Tip your waiters and waitresses who have to work a little more, smile and laugh with the cashier at the store or gas station that is stuck working, be thankful for our troops who stand guard over our great nation. Thank your hospital staff’s and your zoo keepers, your firemen and your police. For all these people who work on the holiday would truly rather be with their family but they are there helping us and providing for us and seeing that our holidays are filled with every opportunity. Take a moment to thank the good Lord for the very air you breathe and the life you live, for after all this is truly the true spirit of Christmas.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Winter Reading.... Recommendation

Most of the people I talk to say they enjoy reading a lot more during the winter months when they can’t enjoy the great outdoors. I like reading late at night before going to bed mostly. Either way I found the Argeneau Series of books by Lynsay Sands most enjoyable. My favorite book due to its great sense of humor was by far was book number seven, “The Accidental Vampire”. The humorous storey of a woman who became a vampire but had absolutely no clue how she got to be one. The great thing about this series is it really doesn’t matter what order you read the books in. They are a compilation of the family Argeneau and how each of them finds their mate and the adventure that takes them there. Heck if you look at the list they weren’t even written in the sequence of events as they unfolded. There are twelve books in all and each is sure to thrill you. My second favorite in the series is, “The Immortal Hunter”. I did so enjoy each and every one of these books and yes I have them should anyone want to borrow them. Of course you must agree to give them back. I can’t wait for the next in the series to come out either. It comes out in January. I’m getting excited. Here you have it though… this is my suggested reading for a little light winter reading. Romance and humor are hard to beat I would say.

  1. A Quick Bite (November 2005)

  2. Love Bites (January 2004)

  3. Single White Vampire (September 2003)

  4. Tall, Dark & Hungry (July 2004)

  5. A Bite to Remember (July 2006)

  6. Bite Me If You Can (February 2007)

  7. The Accidental Vampire (January 2008)

  8. Vampires Are Forever (February 2008)

  9. Vampire Interrupted (March 2008)

  10. The Rogue Hunter (September 2008)

  11. The Immortal Hunter (March 2009)

  12. The Renegade Hunter (September 2009)

Friday, December 18, 2009

An Acquired Taste...

I suppose one might say that I am an acquired taste. At least this is what I have been told. My nature is one that is extremely blatant in nature. I don’t like to hurt people and would never intentionally try, unless they were attempting to hurt me, but I am afraid that sometimes my unencumbered shamelessness and my straight talk can come off a bit aloof. I recently went to a party at a very expensive home. Now I loved the house and I enjoyed the company of the occupants. I am very happy for them that they are doing so well and can live so comfortably. For anyone who knows me though, you know I don’t judge people for what they do or don’t have. I have friends from all walks of life and I like to look at what is inside a person, not at what is on the outside. As long as I have enough money to pay my bills I am happy. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to be wealthy just like anyone else. It’s just that I know money doesn’t buy happiness and it’s something I can take or leave. So at this party I was myself. I’m sure to some of the party goer’s delight (at least that is what they told me) and to some of their dismay. I like to have fun and I will joke or tease about anything. I like to think of myself as a free spirit. I wasn’t always this way. Years gone by I would have been the shy girl in the corner. I would have been the one who would have clung to the host because I knew him and no one else. I would never have dreamed of talking so easily to people I had never met. I’ve lived a lot in my forty-two years though and I’ve learned life is short. Way to short to care what others think of you for being who you are. Truth is I know with my inhibitions I could probably make a priest blush. It took me a long time to get that comfortable with myself. So at this party I went to I was me completely. I met a lot of great people there. I loved most of them to pieces for the most part. They were warm and welcoming and laughed and talked, all but one. Now I still have nothing against this one; however, anyone who knows me knows you don’t attack my friends and you don’t try to make me feel like I should bow down to an alter in front of you because you feel you’re better than me. It’s like cornering a wild animal. If you do it, my friends will attest you better buckle up because it’s going to be a bumpy ride. So, as you can imagine this person did both of these things, not just one. Can you imagine someone you’ve seen maybe a dozen times in your life and haven’t seen for over a decade, someone who was never involved in your life and was never your friend picking apart what you do for a living? What about imagining this person pounding you with questions about a friend and that friend’s daughter? What if they go one step further and not only try to drill you with questions but make snide nasty remarks about those people? Would you stand there and take it? I’m guessing a few would stop to consider the person is close to the hosts. I maybe should have, but it’s just not in me. My first instinct is to strike out and let that person know I don’t feel they are in any form or fashion any better than I and that I don’t appreciate their attack on my demeanor, my style or my friends. Looking back I probably just should have ignored them, but then where is the fun in that? It got me to thinking about something I always think about though. Why is it that some people so judgmental based on looks and money and power? Some of my favorite people in the whole world have no money or power and to me the better looking a person is on the inside the better they look outside. I guess I should stop wondering, after all I have been blessed with a multitude of friends who love me just the way I am. They don’t try to change me and they definitely don’t require that I have a ton of money and a proper attitude. So once again I will tell all my family and friends how blessed I am to have you over this holiday season. My family and friends are what give me hope, make me laugh and help me to appreciate life. I understand sometimes its not easy being my friend, but I love you for it. I do understand that after all I really am an acquired taste on so many levels. Happy Holidays and a very Merry Christmas!

Monday, December 14, 2009

Humor Among Holiday Shoppers... at least for me

This past Friday as I was in the back magazine isle of Target and trying to stay out of the multiple, mostly grumpy shoppers, I found myself ease dropping for fun. Two women started down the isle I was in. Right behind me and the magazines is the "young adult" books. Things like "Harry Potter" or "The Vampire Diaries" can be found there. These two women were most likely sisters from the looks of them and one was petite but tall, while the other was short and frumpy (my code for she could push a meal or two back every now and then). I was listening to these two talk of the Christmas lists they had from their loved ones of their wants or needs. The shorter lady said her daughter had written down that she wanted the "True Blood" series of books but she must have misprinted it because surely she meant these. I looked around to see what she was looking at. The woman goes these say "Blue Blood". I'm sure these are them. I said excuse me ladies but there is a book series called "True Blood", by Charlaine Harris, but you won't find them in the young adult book section as they are probably not appropriate for young minds. The shorter lady looks at me and goes, "why is that?" I said because they are fairly explicit and filled with sex. The lady looked like I had mooned her. She goes "Oh, my. Maybe I shouldn't buy that for my daughter." Now these two women looked like they were somewhere in their fifties, but perhaps they didn't age well. Who knows. So I asked the lady, well how old is your daughter? She looked at me and said "She's twenty-one." I, being that I am bad, said "well I'm sure she knows all about sex by now then." But wait... without skipping a beat the lady that was with her goes: "Hell the way she looks I'm sure she's done it lots and could give lessons." The shorter lady was mortified to say the least and I had to choke back a laugh. Some how this did help my Friday Christmas spirit find it's place though. I hope it helped yours... gotta love a true story.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

2007 and Now...

Then 2007 with my friend Chris

Two months ago and twenty pounds more than I currently weigh...

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Diet's (Food Choices) 101!

I thought I would take a moment just to share a little of what I have learned over my journey to losing weight and getting healthy. I get asked a lot how I’m doing it. It’s not a magical pill (although wouldn’t that be nice). I am doing it the good old fashioned way of exercise and diet. I walked during the summer about forty to sixty miles a week. As it’s gotten colder I’m down between twenty and thirty, but I have added more on the home front for doing exercise bike, weight training, WII and sit ups and leg lifts. I figure adding the extra will help balance the not getting to walk as much as I would like. I also have added more time on my feet and less time on the sofa watching the “boob tube”. I only watch about an hour of television a day now and sometimes not even that. I do read quiet a bit, but I work it so that I do it after exercise or will riding the exercise bike. I even find more excuses to get up and move around at work. Sitting for hours on end just isn’t happening with me anymore. As for the diet end of it, I know there are several to choose from. The way I chose to approach it was to work with my doctor and discuss my own health concerns and the best approach. I believe everyone should do this when dieting and don’t just ask them for a diet list. You know if you do that they are going to give you something you will never follow. If you actually tell your doctor ahead of time so he can plan on allowing time and then actually tell him what you like and what you need you can work it out with him. For me the chose of diets was easy. I started having blood pressure issues. Blood pressure is directly affected by sodium in foods, so the doctor suggested I work with a dietician and learn about sodium in foods and how it affects the body. My goal that was set was to attempt to take in no more than 1200 to 1500 mg of sodium in any given day. Me, being who I am set my goal at 1000 mg a day rather than what they gave me. You see I know from personal experience how easy it is to say a little over won’t hurt, so by setting it to 1000 if I hit 1200 I was still ok. I actually kept a log at first and I read labels of everything I bought to check the sodium content. At first calories and carbohydrates didn’t matter. I needed to learn about sodium first. I also started going on line and checking fast food menu’s and nutrition charts prior to going out to get my meals as well. I sort of became fixated on sodium. I started using non-salted butter in my cooking and I even bought low sodium foods to stock. Until I did all this I didn’t’ realize that even a bag of carrots has sodium in them. Did you realize that a 12oz can of diet coke has 50 mg of sodium in it? How about this? Did you realize that a single Reese’s cup has 210 mg of sodium? When you are only allowing yourself 1200 mg of sodium a day it doesn’t take long to add up. I started telling myself that once I hit my sodium count for the day, no matter what it was or when then I was done. I might eat an apple or something (of which yes still has sodium) but I would eat very little if anything after I hit my allotted sodium for the day. I started feeling better within a couple of days. It amazed me. I also added more water to my diet because water helps remove sodium from the body. Before I realized it I had lost sixty pounds. That was the first leg of my getting off the weight. After that diet started me I added the walking an exercise and the rest as they say is history. I thought I would give you some interesting facts and figures in here though too. I found I had a lot of misconceptions about the foods out there and what was healthiest for me and what wasn’t. So I am going to give you some restaurant choices and lets see which ones you would pick for healthy and which ones not.

Which one is the better choice: Two hamburgers and a small fry from McDonalds or a Taco Bell Chipotle Steak Taco Salad from Taco Bell?

Ok, I’m not a doctor, but from what I’ve learned I’ll tell you which one I would choose and why. Although the salad sounds like the more sensible option because it has the word “salad” in it, I would go with the McDonald’s hamburgers and fries. Of course knowing me I would probably do just one hamburger and a small fry but that is me. Now actually you should normally stay away from red meats for the most part when dieting; however, in this scenario if these are your two options the salad is not going to be the better option on a diet. The Taco Bell Chipotle Steak Salad has 890 Calories in it. Of which there are 57 grams of fat, 11 grams saturated fats, 1700 mg of sodium, and 28 grams of protein and 70 grams of carbohydrates. Did you notice the 1700 mg of sodium? How about the 57 grams of fat? Now let’s look at the McDonald’s meal. Both hamburgers and the small fry have a combined total of 730 calories. Out of these 730 calories (which is less than the salad) there are 29 grams of fat, 8 grams saturated fat, 1200 mg of sodium, 91 grams of carbohydrates, and 27 grams of protein. I’m not advocating eating any fast food, but we all know we are going to do it from time to time. The thing to do when you’re eating out is know which options are actually the better ones when dieting. I asked a few friends to tell me different items they felt were healthy and low sodium, low calories at various restaurants. I found that many of them had the same misgivings I had. Examples: Arby’s sells a Roast Chicken Club sandwich. Almost everyone I talked to thought it would be good on a diet, but I am here to tell you I am not picking it. This sandwich has 460 Calories of which 170 are from fat, 39 grams of carbohydrates and 1490 mg of sodium. Now granted it’ lower on the calorie scale, but the sodium content will kill you. Sodium causes the body to retain fat and water. Just a heads up for you there in case you didn’t know. From Burger King the Tender grill garden salad comes in with 460 calories, 29 grams of fat, 31 grams of protein, 19 carbohydrates and hold on to your hat, 1450 mg of sodium. So basically eat this and you’re done for the day. Believe it or not I would eat a whopper (probably junior for me) before eating this salad. Now a full size whopper has 670 calories, 40 grams of fat, and 1020 grams of sodium. So yes I would have more fat and more calories, but then again my diet has been based around watching my sodium. If we look at the whopper jr. which is what I would probably eat then we find the following: 370 Calories, 21 grams of fat and 560 mg of sodium. This to me is the better option for me in my mind. If I go to Culvers I eat a single butter burger. Why, it fills me up and it has 346 Calories and 700 mg of sodium. Still not my chosen foods, but if I find I’m there and I’m hungry I am going to look for what I feel has the lesser sodium content. IHOP has a meal of Tilapia and steamed broccoli that only has 360 calories and 580 mg of sodium. I love it. I always have them put the hollandaise sauce on the side because I’m not a fan of it, but even if I add French fries to this meal I can still stay within my diet. There are options out there, but the first thing you need to do is arm yourself with information. PIZZA is TABU…. Sorry, it’s just the plain old facts of life. I have started only allowing myself pizza about once every six months. Two Slices of pepperoni pizza has 1600 mg of sodium in it (Pizza Hut). Not to mention a ton of empty calories and fat. How many people stop with two slices of pizza? The easiest way I think for most people to start is to just cut back periodically. I mean learn that leaving food on your plate is not a bad thing and seconds is rarely wise. Forgiving one’s self for bad days when we indulge is another as well as learning that this is a life style choice, not a diet in reality. One more tip I have for you. I have two days a week I allow myself to eat a sweet treat. Could be a couple of reases cups or a bowl of ice cream, but I don't eat sweets every day. I also have one designated day every month that I allow myself to eat anything I want without chastising myself. It gives me things to look forward to so that I know I'm not missing out. I've found I enjoy my food more and these special times off the diet mean all the more. Food tastes much better to me than it use to. Give these things a try if you will. If nothing else start reading your labels. I'm sure if you notice the sodium content on foods you are in for a huge surprise.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Learning to Love Yourself...

I know on more than one occasion I have spoken of my feelings about life and living. I constantly think about the past. I am not sure if that is normal or not. I have a tendency to think it is and that as human being’s we use that as a tool to keep from repeating our mistakes. Some of us though keep repeating them if for no other reason sadism. Yep, a whole bunch of you just had your eyebrows turn upward. Do I believe some people are enticed and drawn to pain? Hell yes I do! Mostly I believe that people do it unwittingly though. Last week for me was rough on so very many levels that I am not even sure where to begin. I have known for years now that I take states of manic episodes. My emotions run either extremely happy or extremely sad. There is no middle ground for me. I worked with a therapist on that years ago though and learned how to read the signs and how to handle them for the most part. I am proud to say I do it without medication. I mean most people who are prone to manic episodes are on Zoloft or some other medication and even on the medication to me they seem far more messed up than I could ever be. For anyone who doesn’t know what one of these states is like I am going to tell you, so sit back and enjoy the ride. When these episodes, for lack of a better term, come over me there is a high energy sensation that is over my entire body. I almost feel like I could make light bulbs glow if you placed one in my hand. I feel the need to be up and about and doing something. That outlet of energy could be shopping (common and dangerous to the wallet), drinking (dangerous because in these states it helps dull things which you feel the need for – alcoholics often do this), dancing, exercise, cleaning house, or playing a sport or something. During these episodes sitting or being in one place for too long can drive me batty. My nerves feel as if someone has stepped on the last one and I just want to have fun and forget life exists. Anxiety is a big key player in this state. One to know what this feels like for us? Drink about twenty cups of coffee in an hour and not know if a loved one is going to live or not. That pretty much to me sums up the feeling. It’s tense and I would tend to believe if one didn’t know that it’s simply a chemical imbalance that you have to learn to control that you could think you were going half insane. Now every manic episode is followed by a depressed state. The manic episodes themselves can last anywhere from a day to a couple of weeks. The depressed state usually doesn’t last as long, but when that fall from manic to depressed hits look out. It’s a total feeling of worthlessness and foreboding. I can cry for no reason and at the stupidest things. Last week I was manic for the first part and during that time had some very horrible news on several fronts. The end of the week and beginning of this one left me depressed. I’m happy to say right now I’m leveled off from both. I also had the task of writing about some of my inner most thoughts on what caused my weight issues and had to let someone read it to complete the assignment so to speak. That was a tough one. Opening up completely, although it may seem otherwise because of the things I write in here, is not something easily done. There are parts of me that no one knows. I am also sure though that this web site has given my brother many insights into me that he had no clue on. You see for as open as people believe me to be, they’ve only seen shadows of which I really am and how I really feel. This too could be normal. Who am I to say what is or is not normal? I just know I have never felt like an ordinary or normal person. I chose a person who had no ties to the events of my past to read the letter I had to write. The person the counselor wanted me to have read it I couldn’t risk upsetting and the person I let read it I was afraid to lose out of my life, but felt they at least had no connection. You really have no idea how vulnerable a feeling that is to let someone read something you had to admit about yourself that you clung to in secret for years. So what is the point of all this? Simply that I must learn and have been learning to live with and love who I am. It’s something that makes us better for ourselves and for those around us. It’s something I wish we could teach our children to do well before they are adults. Why do we have so many people out there who are quick to judge and label? These people somehow make it hard for others to be who they are. What a waste of time and energy I think. So as the holiday comes up what I would wish for each of you is that you know how special you are for just being you. I would wish that you enjoy your uniqueness and love yourselves. I really do love all my friends and family with all my heart. I also hope that you know there is not a thing I would change about who any of you are. Happy Holiday’s!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Nadene Slone Johnson

Nadene Slone Johnson
Born in Knott County on Mar. 30, 1950
Departed on Dec. 1, 2009 and resided in Prestonsburg, KY.
Growing up and even as an adult I knew very little of my cousin Nadene. I saw her only a handful of times; however, I had great admiration for her and the kind of person she was. Nadine took on the job of raising her brothers and sisters and to them was more than likely more of a mother than a sister. She had a heart of gold and a soul I am sure to match. She will be missed.

Name: Nadene Slone Johnson Age: 59 of: Prestonsburg, KY formerly of Knott County Date of Birth: March 30, 1950 Where: Knott CountyDate of Death: Tuesday, December 1, 2009 Where: Highlands Regional Medical Center, Prestonsburg, KentuckyFacts of Importance: Disabled Factory WorkerParents: Daughter of the late Sherman & Herma Jean SloneHusband or Wife: Wife of the late Ray Johnson Other Survivors: Two Brothers: Ernie Slone & Doug Slone both of Prestonsburg, Kentucky; Three Sisters: Vonda (Duck) Gibson of Martin, Kentucky, Wilma (Manford) Watts of Crestwood, Kentucky & Juanita (Grant) Nelson of Paintsville, Kentucky; A Host of Nieces, Nephews, Family & FriendsDeceased Relatives: Parents; Two Sisters: Belinda Vanhoose & Bonnie Slone Time and Place of Services: Friday, December 4, 2009 at 11 A.M. at Nelson Frazier Funeral Home, Hindman, KentuckyVisitation: Wednesday, December 2, 2009 at 6 p.m. at the funeral home with singing services each night at 7 p.m.Officiating: Orbin Slone & Robert SloneBurial: Huff Family Cemetery, Short Fork, Pippa Passes, KentuckyNELSON FRAZIER FUNERAL HOME, HINDMAN, KENTUCKYIN CHARGE OF ARRANGEMENTSwww.nelsonfrazierfuneralhome.com

Sunday, November 29, 2009

My IU Basketball Legacy

Legacy may or may not be the correct title, but in a way this is exactly what it is to me. All my life, all my memories of my life have been surrounded every fall and winter with Indiana University Basketball filling my home. When I was little game nights, especially if on a Saturday night found my mother baking a chocolate cake, with me attempting to help so I could lick the spoon or bowl. The cake would be ready by the start of the game and my mother and I would always retire to the back bedroom to watch television there while my dad and brother would watch the game in the living room. You could hear them yelling and clapping and laughing and often my mother and I enjoyed our mother and daughter time. Every year until I moved out of my parents home found this same ritual. My dad and my brother really were IU basketball nuts too. I came home from school one day and it was tournament time and as soon as I walked in the door IU lost the lead. That was senior year for me. My brother was out of school. My brother immediately blamed me for them losing the lead merely for walking in the door. It is comical now and as I am sure my brother didn't really believe that and he was just in the heat of the game. I hope he sees the humor in it as well. I had always enjoyed playing sports and basketball but had never really found any use for watching them. Now I hate when I miss the games. Can't help but miss a lot of them on the schedule I work, but I watch what I can. What changed? That is easy. I've always been a person who wanted to see my family happy. Sometimes to the point it hasn't always been healthy for me, but I love them and if you're in my life and I love you, you know there is little I wouldn't do for you. When in 1991 my brother met his wife he started spending less and less time with my dad, which is perfectly normal under these circumstances, but it isnt' always easy for a loved one or a parent to catch that connection. Mom told me dad was lonely and that he missed having Ritchie to watch the games with. So I went to the library and got a couple of books on basketball. Then I went and bought the college basketball magazine and watched a couple of college games on my own. After I was sure I knew at least enough about the game I simply invited myself to watch the games with my dad and a new tradition was born. Simple as that. Not long after wards I found I loved the sport both playing and watching it. I also loved the time it gave me with my dad. I think all parents and their children should have such a wonderful experience and something they share on a continual basis. So this Tuesday night will find me watching IU with my dad and more than likely with my brother. I really wouldn't have it any other way and so you see this is my IU Basketball legacy. What is yours?

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Happy 9TH Birthday Dakota!!!!

Your aunt 'E' loves you a lot and is very proud of you!

Monday, November 23, 2009

Mother/Daughter Christmas Snow No More

This past Sunday, November 22ND, my mother and I did our annual mother/daughter Christmas shopping trip. Normally I wait until the first or second weekend of December, but this year my schedule wasn't going to allow for that at work for a weekend trip. I suppose we could have done a week day one. Normally on our trip out, every year for as long as I can remember, we have had to fight bitter cold and lots and lots of snow and ice. This year we had beautiful sky's and fifty-four degrees. Who could have asked for a better or more perfect day. These trips are something I cherish. Who knows how many more years my parents will be with me, so I try to make the most of it. We started our day out by meeting my mothers sister, Arlene, for lunch at Azars. It was somewhere my mother hadn't been in a long time. My dad is pretty much a routine person and he's not much for restaurants unless there is a buffet involved. I personally don't understand the need for the buffet, but I suppose to each their own. So mom and I met my aunt and had a leisurely lunch. Azars was packed to my surprise. Apparently their Sunday breakfast buffet gets quiet a good business. During lunch my mother was quiet for her. You see my mother has Parkinson's. She's getting worse fairly quickly I think, but I don't ever dare say that to her. She needs to keep a positive attitude so I try not to play it up. There are things she can't do though for herself that embarrass her somewhat though in public these days. I had to cut her sandwich into four pieces for her. I know from the way she acted that it did bother her somewhat having to ask and having to have it done. Her hand shakes really badly and she can't hold the knife to cut it herself. She's my mother and it's extremely hard to watch her growing so frail. She's always been a very proud and strong woman. She's someone I could only hope to be a little like, for there is no way I could ever be her. I know my friends get tired of me saying it, but my mother is the best you could ever ask for. She's spiritual and loving and kind. Anyway, after lunch my mom had her list of items that my dad had given her that he might like for Christmas. Now with my mom you can buy her anything and she's happy. With my dad if you want him to like it, you should probably pretty much stick to his list. I know, kind of takes the fun out of it, but it is what it is. So we did our run to Kmart. Now I love the Kmart on East Coliseum. I mean it's one of the few stores that still a good old fashioned and simple store. I can run in and find what I want without having to walk a marathon while I'm at it and pass by a thousand things I really don't need in the process. So we went to Kmart and then we went to Walmart. After this my mother was pretty much tired. It wasn't as many stores as we normally would hit, but again her disease wears her out easily. I took her home and helped her with her purchases into the house. We had spent about four hours out and about. Needless to say I was tired too. Sunday wasn't done for me though, it was a family day all around. My dad took my evening walk with me. He slowed me down some. I am so use to walking fairly fast now, but it didn't matter. It was nice to walk and talk with him as he discussed his day with my brother and their trip to our church in Saint Mary's Ohio. All in all the mothers day out went well and the weather cooperated nicely, leading me to believe maybe the curse of snow on our day out might be done and finally come to an end. Memories and times together with my parents is something I will always cherish and for the most part my Sunday was spent with them and doing for them. I did manage a nap and I did go to see "New Moon" by myself which was relaxing, but for the most part it was family filled and I wouldn't change a thing.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Christmas Shop @ The Memorial Coliseum This Weekend

Indiana Flea Market
Friday, November 20 @ 3:00pm - 9:00pm
Saturday, November 21 @ 10:00am - 7:00pm
Sunday, November 22 @ 11:00am - 5:00pm
Admission: $1.00 - available each day from the ticket office

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Forgetting and Forgiving Are Two Different Things

The Webster’s dictionary definition of forget and forgive:

Forget – to disregard intentionally (overlook) or to lose the remembrance of or be unable to recall the incident.

Forgive - to give up resentment of or claim to requital for or to cease to feel resentment against.

If there is one life lesson I have learned over and over it is that it is easier to forgive someone than to forget what they’ve done. That in itself is probably responsible for many sayings. One that comes to mind is to not burn your bridges. I mean even if someone forgives you, if they can’t forget they may not keep you in their good graces. I suppose I am one who finds it easy to forgive for most things. Eventually I probably could forgive about anything. There is one person I will never forgive, but then seeing as how that person is no longer among the living I suppose it doesn’t matter if I forgive them or not. I think it’s an important life lesson that many should be taught early on. It would save a lot of heartache and grief down the road. We’ve all known people who’ve lied to us in some major form. I am not talking the little white lies that sometimes make you shake your head and wonder why someone would bother, but I am talking the big ones. Once that person has lied no matter if we forgive them or not we truly never really trust them again. It’s just part of human nature I believe. It’s also one reason relationships revisited seldom work. Whatever reason the relationship didn’t work in the first place is always going to be close at hand in the person’s memory. They can forgive and move on even, but forgetting is something unless you lose your memory completely or have Alzheimer’s that just doesn’t happen. Life often will hold on to mistakes we made when we were adolescents and make us pay for them in some small way continually was we mature. Thinking of this brings up another saying that comes to mind about a leopard not being able to change its spots. I believe that to be true for the most part; however, I do believe occasionally people learn from their mistakes and would never repeat them. I personally know from my own experience I am nothing like the girl and woman that was around until my mid to late twenties. I’ve learned to play honestly with my words especially to those I care about. I have learned to watch my step somewhat. I am still very outspoken and opinionated, but there are things that would have driven me to complete insanity when I was younger that I just try to tell myself is human nature and not personal and move on with. So almost everything and everyone who’s wronged me in my past I have forgiven. I would be remiss to try to say that I had forgotten anything though. I remember pain as much as anyone else. I remember good times, laughs and even sadness and disappointment. It’s what keeps me at arms lengths with some people. One person in particular who has been trying ever so hard to get back in my good graces would be wise to give up. If he’s reading this the plain and simple truth is I loved you and I could have forever, but I could never trust you again. Perhaps I am a little snobbish in saying this, but I believe I deserve better than I was dealt at this parties hands. Either way it doesn’t matter. What we do in life will always be remembered by someone. I recently met someone again that I had known years ago. I really wouldn’t have thought I impacted that person at all as I rarely spoke to them or seen them. Yet they were telling me about one conversation I had with them that helped them to move on from a relationship that would have only gotten worse and how they had met the love of their life to which they are still married only a few months later. As human beings I think we need to think more of how what we do and say is affecting everyone around us. We owe it to ourselves and to them. The simple truth of the matter is that when it comes right down to it, it isn’t that hard to forgive someone. Forgiving doesn’t mean erasing the issue though. It doesn’t mean healing the wound or taking the person back. It simply means we don’t sit and fester and mourn over things that might have been and could have been. We can often forgive, but for reasons known only as life, we rarely forget.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Turbo Snake a Big Success in My Book.

Love those, "As Seen On TV", products! Even when they don't work I find that I am somehow just enamored by them. Why? Heck I don't know... Perhaps I really do have sucker tattooed across my forehead. I keep trying them no matter how many of them don't work though. So never fear your product tester is here. I love it when I find a product that actually does what it claims though. This is the case with the "Turbo Snake". My bathroom sink and the bath tub as well took forever to drain. I tried the store liquids, such as Liquid Plumber, and I also tried bleach to no avail. Nothing seemed to make them drain more quickly, so on a whim I purchased this little guy at Walmart's last week. I took it home and first did the sink. Gross most definitely, but it did what it said and it pulled out hair and what have you. Then I did it to the bath tub. Guess what! My drains are now draining appropriately. So if you're having this problem then I am highly recommending this product. It did wonderful things for me. Just make sure you have a strong stomach when you do it. Some of that stuff it pulled out was not so enticing. The "Turbo Snake" gets two thumbs up from me.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Favorite Text I've had In I don't know how long...

Joe - "We're all crazy. Some of us just get caught." ---- Just have to love it!!!

It worked out quiet well in my opinion as I was walking today and saw this hotel watering the lawn? Aren't we in November? Is there a point to watering it at this point?

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

IPOD Classic 2009

Sounds like a graduating class. Doesn't it? Well, welcome me to the age of technology. I still have my Walkman by the way and will still use it some. I also have an MP3 Player a friend gave me. I will use it as well. I am liking my IPod Classic though as well. I think I could get to like Apple products. Hum. The only thing I don't like is that it doesn't have a radio on it, although apparently there is something you can buy and attach to it that will give you a radio signal. It also has a cute little Karaoke gadget you can attach to it which I just think is too cool and at $50 I really really want. I spent some time the other day leafing and reading through the manual for it. Then I went out and browsed around the Itunes site. I got a movie and a book so that I could see what they were like. I put on several of my albums. 633 songs out there right now. It's going to take me forever to get all my albums into the digital age. I am thinking I need an external hard drive for my computer to store all this stuff on. I also didn't like that it appears that the IPod people think everyone who walks with one of these babies is going to want it holstered to their arm. Uh, I really really don't. They don't appear to make hip holsters for these so I went to Walmarts and bought an IPhone hip holster and guess what? Perfect fit. After playing I have figured out how to skip through chapters in the books and the movies. That wasn't easy. I also realize the IPod I have is not the IPod touch I originally was wanting but I like it. All in all I would have to give two thumbs up to the product, even though I had to be dragged by the hair into this technology thing. Hey I just started really using my DVD player in the last year or so. I was convinced it was way harder than VHS to learn to use. So I am a little on the slow up take when it comes to advancing my life into technology, but for now I can jam with some cool music as I take those long walks. As always anyone wanting to check this product out and play with it, a test run you might say, you are welcome to see me.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

A Different Kind of Nook

It appears to me that technology is going to force me to accept it whether I like it or not. Everything, as a friend of mine has told me, is going digital these days. I'm begining to think that some day we may even have digital food. I wonder if that means we'd have digital weight issues? Perhaps we could go on a digital diet? I dropped into one of my favorite places to browse today, Barnes and Noble Bookstore. Didn't find anything that made me walk to the register with it and carry it home today, but I love looking solely for the sake of looking. There is also something comfortable and inviting about being around all those shelves of books. If I didn't know myself I might start to believe that perhaps I was meant to be a librarian, and yes I know my friends have had to pause from reading this to catch their breath from laughing so hard. What I did find somewhat amusing
and a little intriguing was a 'e-book' reader that Barnes and Nobles has started taking reservations for. (Reserve Now and will be shipped to you in late November). This little jewel is called 'NOOK'. It appears to be about the size of a hard back book to me. Measurements listed are: height 7.7 inches, width 4.9 inches, depth .5 inches and weight 11.2 oz. It also has a 3.5 inch color touch screen LCD monitor that is picture perfect and clear even in bright sunlight. Per the store hype this little guy will allow you to have any book in their list of over one million books in the palm of your hand at any given time. The average price for loading their books down to this device is said to be $9.99. I must admit to being extremely intrigued by this device, although I find it sad that technology is trying to do away with yet another thing I love, which is a good old fashioned book that is in the palm of my hands. It does appear it would save room for those who want to rid their lives of clutter. The 'Nook' as sold holds up to one thousand
five hundred e-books, magazines, or newspapers. There is a memory card that can be added that will allow for seventeen thousand five hundred magazines, newspapers, or e-books. That is a lot of room if you think about how much space that would actually take up in your house. Yet at $9.99 a book times 17,500 that would also be $174825.00 before taxes too. YIKES.. I suppose we all probably spend a lot on books in our lifetimes though. There are these places I've heard of called Libraries though that one can visit, borrow the book and take it back to them and they actually store it. Hum. You technical people out there probably all ready know this, but you can also have e-books on your IPod's, mp3 players and even your IPHONE (that is for you Joe). With this being said I am not really how sure I am that this little guy will be a success, but I would actually like one. I am not going to dish out the $259.00 at this time to buy one though. If you are interested in more information on the 'Nook' you can go to http://www.nook.com/.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Which Magazine is Better?

So today as I was merchandising a lady came up to me to see if I had a copy of Life & Styles, US, OK or In Touch. She went on to tell me that her teen age daughter was at home with the flu and she wanted to get her a magazine to help pass the time. I pulled out five magazines. The four she had mentioned and of course People magazine as well and I offered them to the woman. She took four of them and pushed the People magazine back at me. You know what she said? She said People magazine wasn't appropriate for a teen age girl. Huh? Can anyone out there tell me the answer to this next question? Is People really anymore inappropriate for a teen age girl than US? How about OK? In Touch? Life & Styles? Since I merchandise I see these magazines all the time and I even read them from time to time and I can honestly say in my opinion People is often a little more dignified than the others, but I can't honestly say any of them are teen age girl worthy. Now kudos to any parent for trying to do what is wright and monitor what your children read and watch, but I just don't get this one. Do you?

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

The Colors of My Mind

When you're out walking and you're looking at gorgeous scenery like this one above you can't help but think of days gone by. Today as I was walking I thought of a song by Dolly Parton, "Coat of Many Colors". My grandmother Jezzie use to love that song and she gave me a 45 of it when I was quite young. I bet I played that thing until it was warped. I also thought of a conversation I had with my mom the other day at lunch about my grandmother Jezzie. It's amazing at what I remember and what my mother never knew until that conversation. My grandmother also liked the song "Abra Abra Cadabra" and "Little Pink Houses". These are not songs you would have thought someone of my grandmothers generation would have liked and my mom had no clue she did. I remember the conversation with my grandmother about these songs like it was yesterday. I am sure on some level my grandmother was just attempting to find a level playing field on which to communicate with a teenage granddaughter. My grandmother Jezzie was unique though on many levels and could quiet often surprise you. She loved wrestling. She was a woman to admire on many levels. She had married a man who all ready had more than enough children on his own. He was also sixteen years older than my grandmother and amazingly she outlived him by exactly sixteen years. My grandpa was a Baptist minister and his wife had run off and left him with children and in need of a help mate. I think she did an excellent job not only of being there for him, but for his children. I often heard my grandmother speak of how should could not have loved her step children anymore if they had been her own. She went on to have eight "surviving" children of her own with my grandpa. I say surviving because I also remember her mentioning miscarriages. Miscarriages were not uncommon for that day. Women often worked hard in the fields long into their pregnancies and sometimes right up until delivery. My grandmother never had much money and I can count the things that she gave me on one hand as I was growing up. A watch, a purse, a few records... But she didn't' need money because the many colorful moments with her are etched in my mind. Isn't that what counts in life that so many forget way too often? The memories we have and are allowed to carry with us even when someone is gone. My grandmother died in 1986, but in my mind I can still see her face and hear her voice. I still remember the smile and the hugs. Yes she was sick the last couple of years of her life and I remember those bad times and I have images I could drudge up of that time, but I prefer to bring forth the wonderful memories I have. The ones that as this beautiful scenery are now the colors of my mind and shall be forever. The fall colors are a reminder of change to come and a life winding down. In the spring the flowers and the tree buds will bring everything all new. Unlike the tree leaves though my memories will hopefully never die and shall live on.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Happy 6th Birthday Ashley!!!!

Your aunt Sheila loves you lots! Have a great birthday.

Monday, October 12, 2009

A Little Common Sense

Have you ever known someone and thought to yourself: “Damn that boy is book smart, but he doesn’t have the sense the good Lord gave a goose”? Seems to me these days particularly this statement applies quiet well in “young” management. I mean companies are hiring management personal based on their college credits and how well they did in school. I am not saying that schooling is not important or even that it isn’t a good thing, but somewhere down the line this “next” generation has not learned from anything from the school of hard nocks to go along with it. I am not sure where our society is going so wrong to tell you the truth. I could go on about how I think it’s that we are spoiling our children. I could tell you I think it’s because a lot of them haven’t been taken out behind the woodshed for things they really should have been. I could go on for hours on how it is that we are now siding with our children against teachers and schools in topics we shouldn’t. (Even though there are times I think we should side with our children against teachers.) I could say it’s that to me it seems times have gotten selfish. I mean children are only little for so long. Parents should be taking time to enjoy their children and should be devoting their time to their children while they are little. Instead I have unfortunately known several people who feel their needs to go out and do stuff or buy stuff supersede their need to spend alone time with their children. Or if these people are home with their children they are still not spending time with them but with someone else. I find that sad because I think the opportunity that they are passing up is one they will regret some day, but then again it’s not my life. Common sense is simply what I would call following your gut instinct or survival instinct. I mean common sense would tell you not to put your hand on top of a hot grill that you had just put the fire out on. It would tell a man not to comment on weight gain that his wife has. Common sense would tell management that employees who respect you will go farther for you and do things they wouldn’t normally do to help you out. It would also tell management that the smarter the people are around you and the more you take their advice the farther up the ladder you will climb. I believe if you go look up Donald Trumps latest book on success, if memory serves, it has a statement in there for him about how the people below him are smarter than him and that is what makes him so successful. The statement is something to that nature anyway. Successful people know that being stubborn and wanting your own way and thinking you are always right is pathetically wrong. I wasn’t really thinking along the paths of work though when I decided to write about common sense today though. I guess I allowed myself to get a little side tracked, but then I am good at getting side tracked. My thoughts on it were simply about my own journey and how I have been trying to apply common sense to my weight loss. Here are a few common sense things that I should have thought of a long time ago. One, if you aren’t hungry then don’t eat. I know that sounds like it is simple enough doesn’t it? Well, how many times have you eaten things simply out of boredom or because someone brought something into the office or because it was simply in front of you? I mean your mind and stomach told you it wasn’t hungry but there you sat stuffing your face anyway. This accounts for a lot of unnecessary eating. Two, if you don’t buy it or have it in your possession you can’t give into the temptation to eat it. Elementary I would say. Three, never shop when you’re hungry and always have a list with you of what you intend to buy. Get into the store buy only what is on your list and get out as quickly as possible. Four, before eating, drink an eight to sixteen ounce glass of water. People often mistake the bodies need for water as hunger. Five, ask yourself why you are about to eat whatever it is. Are you eating because it’s what you’re hungry for or is it out of comfort need? Six, one should not eat late at night. When you eat late at night your body doesn’t have time to properly digest the food and burn off excess prior to your going to bed. Seven, get an adequate amount of sleep. When your body is sleep deprived it holds onto fats and calories as an energy source. Studies have shown that people who do not get enough rest usually have weight issues. Lastly I would say the most common sense item I could say is remind yourself why you’re losing weight and ask yourself how important whatever item is that you’re about to eat. Food is a fuel source and should be seen as nothing else. That is what it comes down to. Your body needs fuel. This doesn’t mean one should never indulge in foods they enjoy. Heck I think it’s necessary to indulge every once in a while, but as I have been told over and over by doctors it all comes down to moderation. Simply put the most common sense thing to remember is simple math. To lose weight you must burn more calories than you take in on any given day. Muscle will burn more calories than fat. So if you exercise and maintain a proper diet you’ll get there. I keep reminding myself of that over and over and over. Also your body adjust to whatever you are putting it through. It’s your body’s basic survival instinct. So if one wants to continue to lose weight you must mix things up and change. If you simply walk you will lose weight for a few months, but your body will become accustomed to the lower calories and the walking and will balance out. So you must add to it or mix up and walk less then more. Throw in some strength training and weights. If you really want to get there you can. I know how hard it is to convince one’s self of this. I know how hard it is to fight every day to continue to believe it. I know that sitting on the sofa wanting it didn’t get me anywhere. I know there were no magic pills or short cuts. So I hope if you’re trying to stop smoking or lose weight or just get happy that you’ve found a few words of wisdom in my consummate babble. Either way, life in general on work or weight loss or basically anything else comes down to one thing: A little common sense.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

As The Season's Change

As the seasons change so do our lives. No one, no matter how hard they try is ever the same person they were at the beginning of the year when the year winds down and comes to a close. I’d like to hope I’ve grown a little wiser and a little stronger. I would love to believe I am somehow a better person for having lived through whatever trials and tribulations the year has brought. This particular year has been a big year for me in reflecting on my life and trying to make myself better physically and emotionally. I started walking way back in the end of February or early March. Hard to recall the exact timing now although I suppose I could go back through my post and find the date and time if I tried. Lord knows I have written about my walking on more than one occasion. So far in walking and diet I have lost 93 pounds since February 2009. It feels great on one hand. I mean I have a lot more energy and I like myself better. On the other hand though it is a little frightening to believe that I have been so heavy as to have so much weight I needed to lose. To top that weight loss you really have to realize how heavy I really have been at one time. I mean 93 pounds since February is a small person in itself. I have actually lost a total of 163 pounds since November 2007. So a good size person has dropped off my body. Let us not even mention that I still want to lose a lot more. So yes my life is changing physically and if one doesn’t believe that changes you emotionally then you just can’t even begin to imagine how different my life perspective is. As I have stated it has been a year of reflection. As I walk you just never know where my mind will take me. Today it took me back to my childhood and growing up on Sandpoint Road here in Fort Wayne Indiana. It took me back to a time when my mom’s brothers and sisters gathered in a field with a horse shoe pit and my Uncles took turns throwing horse shoes. I’ve played horse shoes. I find it relaxing and would gladly play today. My uncle Monroe was always known for his abilities at playing this particular game. He’s no longer with us. That summer that went through my mind also had my uncle Roger there in memory before he actually became my uncle. I believe it was the year he and my aunt actually tied the knot but you know the memory does sometimes play tricks on a body. I remember it was late in the summer and almost fall. Life seemed so simple in those days but then again I wasn’t very old so that would probably explain that. I loved the fall when I was younger. The promise of a new school year and the changing of the leaves were both beautiful to me then. Now I really can’t stand the fall. It’s pretty but what it signifies in my mind now is that old man winter is working his way to our door. It means that the wonderful warmth of the sun will hide for months and outdoor activities that I have come to love so much will have to be tucked away and replaced with the stale and boring inside replicas of those events. One such thing is my walking. Now if you don’t know I am one of those people that have a horrendous fear of ice. No I don’t mean the kind you put in your glass to drink a beverage on, but rather the kind you walk on or drive on. OK, well I guess it is the same kind of ice, I am just not afraid of it in a glass. Yes, I would even classify it as a phobia. For anyone who has never had a phobia let me tell you there isn’t much more frightening? For me when I see or perceive ice on the ground I literally freeze in place. I also can feel my heart start to speed up and my chest start to tighten. For all its amusement I literally have to tell my legs to move to. I say a prayer before I start walking and I say a prayer before I drive. It’s a gripping fear that never leaves my mind until I get to where I no longer have to worry about walking on or driving on the ice. So for me winter brings on a new level of anxiety. With anxiety comes the need for comfort and what do over weight people most often turn to for comfort? Yep, you got it… food. Not me this year though I have my WII to work out with. I have my exercise bike and a manual treadmill. I would like an electric treadmill, but budget wise I don’t think that one is going to happen any time soon. Plus I have friends and family and I’ve gone back to reading. So yes new anxiety over a winter of blah. I just hope it’s a short winter with very little snow and ice and that warm weather will come around soon so I can get out and walk again. I mean right now I can and hopefully will be able to through November, but you just never know in this great state. I set out to make some found memories of friends and family this summer. I accomplished that. I set out to be healthier and I think I am headed in the right direction, but no matter what else happens or has happened as the seasons change so do our lives.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

No Disrespect But This is a Hot Vamp!

With all the hype about "Twilight" and "True Blood" I thought I would take a moment to throw in my own two cents worth. My vote for "hottest" Vampire would have to be Mick St. John played by Alex O'Loughlin. I think he would have been great in either of the movies as Eric, Bill or even Edward. Maybe a little long in the tooth for Edward, but I would have watched it. O'Loughlin's show didn't last very long that he played St. John but it is worth a watch. I think the writers fell short of the shows true potential, but as I've often stated, since I am so shy and all, this is an actor I would watch sit on a stage and do nothing for hours at a time. OK, I curbed the way I say it just a little bit in case my aunt is reading this. LOL... of course it probably wouldn't surprise her any. I have the whole series of "Moonlight" on DVD if anyone wants to watch it. It's sure to give you a few pleasant dreams if you're looking for tall, dark and dreamy. The rest of you can have Edward and Eric and Bill.. as long as I get Mick. That is just my two cents on the subject. Check it out!

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Smooth Away Product Review

OK, so you all know I am a big fan of the "As Seen On TV" products. Some of them are very good, some not so much, but I am always intrigued and usually if one of them catches my attention I am going to buy it and try it. My latest product to try was the "Smooth Away" pads to remove hair supposedly easily and without any pain or problems. Sounds too good to be true doesn't it. Well, yes it is in one way. The product cost approximately $10 and it comes with three medium pads and three coarse pads. My legs, I am ashamed to say, had not been shaven in over a week so I set out to find out if these pads actually worked. The medium pads didn't cut the mustard so to speak. I went on to the coarse pads and they did work, but I had to put a lot of muscle into it and it took longer than shaving my legs would have. I had no reaction to the pads so there was no irritation. They did leave my legs feeling silky smooth. So there are some up sides. However at $10 a pop I am thinking this could get expensive. One pad done and gone. I have two of the coarse ones left and as I said I found the medium ones to be worthless. It all comes down to what you want I suppose. I find it hard to believe these would work on the coarse hair of a man though too. Sorry guys, if you want to try them I'll give you one of the pads I have, but I don't think that tough, sexy, stubble of yours would be phased by these pads. If anyone knows the answer to that feel free to speak up. So on a scale of one to ten, I have to give this product a six. It was slightly better than average, but not so great that I would run right back out and buy it.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

What Would You Do for A Million Dollars...

Have you ever thought about what you might or not be capable of doing for a million dollars? I have. Have you really thought it through though? I mean in the heat of the moment that is a lot of money, but could you live with the choice you made afterwards? It's something friends and I have talked about. It's something I have given a lot and I do mean a lot of thought. We've all seen the show "Fear Factor". I miss that show. Some of those people were willing to do some really awful and gross things for just the chance at a million dollars and I'm sure their fifteen minutes of fame was in there somewhere. What do you think they would have been willing to do if it was guaranteed? This is just one thing I thought of yesterday as I was walking and yes the pictures in this blog were from yesterday so I would say the seasonal flowers are a little confused by our strange weather. Think someone promised them a million dollars?

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Time May Heal But It Never Forgets...

I've watched people all my life move on from a relationship and never look back. To hear some of them talk they never miss whatever it was that made that person so important to them to begin with. Sometimes what I would give to be one of those people who could do that. I mean don't get me wrong, on one hand I believe I am blessed to be a person who loves so deeply that every one who enters into my heart stays there forever. On the other hand sometimes that is more of a curse than a blessing I would suppose. I'm also not saying I haven't removed people from my life. I have. Some I cared about a great deal and still do. Others were never people I really cared that much about anyway. I suppose everyone is that way on some level. Today I spent most of it going over in my mind how my heart could so truly still belong to someone I removed from my life a little over fifteen years ago. I happened to run into him last night. We had gone to the same place. When he came up to me and started talking my heart literally felt like it had been ripped right out of my chest. How is that possible after so long? At the same time there was a sort of peace and eagerness in speaking with someone so familiar to my mind and heart. For a moment those fifteen years seemed more like they had been minutes instead. Some things about him had changed. I seriously doubt the ones that matter, to me, have though. I had spent time bracing myself for the fact that I could run into him anywhere and any time. I have a few times in the past few years, but no where that I was going to be for a long period of time. I had braced myself for the scenario where he's with someone new. I had braced myself for the scenario where he's distant and unfeeling and perhaps doesn't even acknowledge me. I had not prepared myself for friendly, welcoming, inviting and showing that warm side that I had loved so much. Such is my life. He looked good,except the tacky choice of outfit. He was friendly. As a friend said earlier tonight. When you see an ex you want them to look like hell and acknowledge you little if at all. Less painful to the heart that way. And for me it sucked realizing that after fifteen years my heart still skipped a little beat at the touch of his hand on my face. I didn't stay long after he got there. I didn't want to run out on my friends, but I also know there is a big big reason he's an ex and not a current. So time may heal and I think for the most part my heart has healed... maybe it cracked a little last night, but time never forgets. At least it doesn't let me forget.

Monday, September 14, 2009

In My Own Skin...

On Saturday night I did one of my favorite things. I simply sat with friends and talked. We played a few games but for me the best thing was simply being with them. I’m always a little saddened when the evening comes to an end. At the end of the evening it was just myself and one friend sitting there talking. That is another one of my all time favorite things is to have a “real” conversation. Not that all conversations aren’t real, but in this I mean ones that are deep and from the heart. For me sometimes I forget that not all people are comfortable with these kinds of talks but luckily for me this one is. In talking with this friend I often get to see myself through someone else’s eyes. He is fairly frank and candid with me and I love him dearly for that. One thing I realize more and more all the time is how unusual my candid and direct nature is. I simply am what I am. I have no trouble when in the company of good friends and people I care about talking about any subject or any topic. I really don’t think there is one that is taboo to me. I’ve found some people to be very welcoming to this type of realness while others I think are taken quiet back by it. I also have no trouble accepting what people tell me about them. I don’t find myself judging them. After all it’s not my place and I am far from being a person who should say what feelings are normal and what ones are not. I have found that more and more though I am getting comfortable under my own skin. What an odd feeling that is too. I mean I am not in the shape I want to be in by any means yet, but I am growing to realize that although my nature is odd at best it is who I am. I love life. I love people and I believe we should all be able to be who we truly are without judgment. It shouldn’t make a difference what someone wears or their choices they should still hold as much value as anyone else. For me the realization that I am worth “it” whatever “it” might be is a good feeling. To know that my nature has found friends that welcome me without judgment as I welcome them is truly special and leaves me feeling extremely blessed. Yes for now I am growing to be quiet comfortable in my own skin. After so many years I’d have to say it’s about time.