A friend of mine & I went to see John Edwards performance at the Grand Wayne Center in Fort Wayne Indiana this past Wednesday night. The venue was smaller than I had expected it to be. I have long been a fan of John's for his ability to help bring comfort to so many through his writings. I have every book he's written and I love them all. They are an inspiration so if you've not read them I would highly suggest that you do. This being said I am a skeptic to a large degree on what he is or is not doing when he's giving a reading. I watched carefully for ques from the people he was reading and listened closely to every word he said. He seemed confident in his choices of telling people things about their family; however, it almost seemed like fishing too. I guess I also have a hard time because I have had so many things happen to me in my own life that I should automatically believe. I mean I've passed messages on to friends and family from the other side to help them. I've known things way ahead of schedule I should not know. I've seen things I can't explain. Here's the thing though I'm not sure if what I've seen, heard and felt is a person communicating from the other side or an angel conveying the message from above to help the soul here that needs the message. These things also don't happen to me on a command basis. I can't just say OK I'm open so lets start talking to people. Then there are night visits. I've had many visits as John described them in my dreams. They are so vivid that when you wake up you're lost as to where you are. Are these actually the spirits of loved ones passed or are they again angles helping us with a need to see loved ones and be comforted. Then there is a scarier option that the things that go bump in the night are demons and that they are here to seem as if they are giving comfort only to lead us away from the Father. Now I loved that John Acknowledged God in his reading he did. Although he says he's not a fan of organized religion he is a believer. That is of comfort as well. Most of the questions and "hits" he had with the audience I could have had a hit on as well, as in I could have answered yes to the questions he asked; however, I think I would have to believe, or I feel that I have had a larger number of deaths in my life than most people. I've known people who were murdered, committed suicide, died in car accidents, lost to a fire, one lost to the waters... so you see I could probably hit on about anything he could come up with so again it makes me a harder target. Why has death been so prominent in my life. If I could have asked one question of John that probably would have been the one for me. Now on the day that I went to see John's performance I was getting ready to drive at 12:18 pm when something told me to note the time. It also went on to tell me to ask John when the last time he enjoyed a reading and did it for no cost. No cost in money, no cost to his soul. I wasn't sure what to think of this but I could not get it off my mind all day. I sure as hell wasn't about to raise my hand and ask that question of John in front of everyone and I live on a check by check basis so the general admission was really more than I should of spent to go see him I didn't spend the extra to go spend one on one time with him although I would love to have. A friend of mine was there though and I told her to tell John that 12:18 is supposed to mean something to him. I'm not sure what and I don't know why. I felt better even though I don't know if she conveyed it or not. That same friend was with her mom and they told me how the mother had asked for two signs for the night. One was for a feather. Now they told as how a small feather had fallen from the ceiling in there right before we came in and landed a little ways from them. Where would a feather come from in the Grand Wayne Center exhibit hall? I do have prophetic dreams. I've had them all my life. I do believe I've walked and talked with Jesus in a dream and I do believe I've been shown the end of days. So maybe it's harder for me to believe? I know I believe in the writings of the King James Bible. I know it warns of false prophets, so I am skeptical more often than not. I also do not begrudge the man making a living using his craft; however, I believe once he has made enough to sustain him and his family if he really has a gift he would do a lot more charity readings or use his gift for good. I would also ask him why he doesn't help with crimes. I can't live his life for him. I can't know his crosses that he bears so I will not judge, but I do have a curiosity about it. My general thoughts on Wednesday though are that I don't know that I saw anything that would lead me to believe in what he's doing or not. I know if he's true or not that if he gives a little bit of peace to a grieving soul that this is all good with me. So do you believe?
Saturday, February 11, 2017
Life is to each of us exactly how we choose to live it. Operative word here would be LIVE. Most people never actually live life, they merely sit looking in the window as if Window Shopping. Be sure you're not one of them.
Until now your life has been pretty sheltered. This year will challenge you more than you could possibly ever imagine. Life and the way you view it is about to change.
Every year as a child you looked forward to summer breaks from school. This year you chose to work at the Fort Wayne Children’s Zoo. This is your first real look at the outside world. While working there you will meet a large variety of people from all back grounds. You will be subjected to the first person to really show you hate and disdain. She’s just jealous of your youth. You can’t see that now, but looking back some day you’ll realize it was pity you should have had for her and prayers she could have used. You’ll meet a guy who will show you that people will stand up for you against all other odds. He is a friend you still think and wonder about from time to time. You really didn’t appreciate him the way you should have then. Death will play a big part in the year ahead. You’ve been sheltered from that too. Your parents loved you and didn’t want you to know about all the ugly and painful things in the world. Perhaps they should have let you fall a little more often. The first death will be someone you had a major crush on in high school. He was in your brother’s class and graduated that summer. He was popular and a straight A student. Strange he probably never knew you thought he was perfect at the time. You will take a break at work one day and read the paper. You’ve always had a morbid infatuation with the obituaries so you will be leafing through and find his obituary there. Not only that but as you leaf through the rest of the paper you will find an article about how he hung himself and took his own life in a hotel room in Florida. You will feel crushed and full of confusing emotions. The article covers the hardships of popular students going out into the real world. By summers end you’ll understand as you see more of what people are like. You’re not really a kid anymore. The way people treat you as an adult is completely different. It’s not the individual items I want you to take from this, but the reality that life changes daily and the innocence of childhood is something to hold onto as long as you can. I also want you to understand more of how to look through other people’s eyes. We are all human with our own pains and sorrows. Often people hurt us without even knowing they are. Humans get caught up in their own emotions and sometimes that blinds them to the effect what they are doing has on other people. By the end of the year you will have lost your grandmother. Again your emotions will be full of confusion and pain. Things we believe in youth show not to be reality as we get older. She won’t be there for your graduation. She won’t be there to see you get married or to hold your first child. These are all emotions that swell up in you. You also for the first time will understand that your parents will not always be here as you watch your father cry for the first time openly in front of you at the loss of his mother. He’s human. Not a concept many children really understand. For the first time your dad is human in your eyes. You should have opened up to someone during this time to let them know the emotions you really were having, but you didn’t. You held them inside and tried to be strong. Strength is what you’ve grown up believing is what you need most. Let me correct that for you. Showing emotions and being honest and outspoken with those around you regarding your real feelings is not weak. It’s stronger than silence ever will be. Yet that year you did nothing. You told people you were fine. You sat at a funeral that tore you apart and pretended your world wasn’t crashing down around you. Let me warn you… Feelings like that being bundled inside build anger and frustrations that can lead you down a path you can’t easily get off of.
So what I would hope you would take from this with you is that you need to be a kid while you can. Youth is fleeting. I know that is cliche but in this case as it would be true. Always do things that you will be proud of as you get older. Hold strong in your convictions and open up about how you are feeling with those you love. Be understanding of other people. Give them second chances and even more than that. Yet know when to walk away from them and be okay in the knowledge that you had done all you could. Tell people what you want them to know now. Tomorrow isn't promised to anyone and death comes from everyone. Understand that death should be embraced but not striven for or feared. Don't worry about the little things... I will be here with you for the duration, as my journey has only begun.