Customer Service and Kindness

For the last several months it seems all I have gotten when I go to places is tacky at best customer service.  I think most of these companies have forgotten that the customers experience will decide whether they return or continue to do business with them or not.  I know most of these companies have also forgotten that your customers experience good or bad comes from how the employee feels about their job. An example of poor service?  Well I have several.  I think other than the occasional shake I'll go get I've given up on the Wendy's in Fort Wayne. They are never really very friendly.  They also assume things like that I would want a spoon rather than a straw with my shake.  Yep.  Last 4 times and they looked at me like I had three heads when I asked for a straw.  To me it's like DUH Shake here.  Then you almost have to beg them for napkins.  I guess they are figuring that is what your sleeve is for.  Now I say Fort Wayne because I have been to the Wendy's in Indy several times and it's like evasion of the body snatchers, they are friendly, polite, give you a spoon and a straw and OMG napkins!  Your service in most of these places is not much better.  I really think they need to think about their service before they act and whether that customer will ever return.  I do most of my shopping at Meijer.  Not because they have lower prices but because they are more helpful and friendlier than their competitor.  I shop Target because their people are ALWAYS friendly to me no matter what and I know their prices are not the lowest.  No matter how good a product is the service is what sells it in the end.  I always use to tell a friend of mine that liked Ford's that I wouldn't have one.  He said why they are gorgeous cars.  I was like yeah but I like my car running.  If you have a Ford and it works good my appologies but I have had nothing but trouble from them and don't know anyone else who's had good luck including this guy whose vehicle was in the shop (brand new vehicle) every time he looked around.  I don't care if it's comfortable and gorgeous.  The service on it sucks if it's constantly broken even if friendly people are saying sorry it's down again.  It's just a fact in my life. One exception here is Ford Trucks now those suckers run and they run very well.  Cars not so much.  So as of late I've been watching my own avoidance of places from their customer service and getting discouraged because I just assumed there was no where left where you got good service.  This past week I found a service center and employee that cared.  I went to Midas on North Coliseum out by Kmart.  I went in there at 5pm on Friday to have them check my brakes which were rubbing or pulsating.  I expected hundred of dollars of work and prepared for the worst.  Scott the guy behind the counter apologized and said they could check them but if they needed work it would have to be on another day since they close at six.  His guy came out and said there is nothing wrong with them.  Specs are fine.  I said I know there's something wrong with them.  Scott then went for a drive with me in my car so he could figure out what I was talking about. He said he'd learned the customer knew their car and if they said something was wrong it was.  so it didn't take him long to agree with me.  They just need reconditioned and cleaned.  Old man winter had rust in there and it was making it hard for things to maneuver.  So Saturday morning he fit me in, knew I had to be to work at 10:30 and promised to get it done in time.  He gave me the remote to the television to flip through the channels and kept me updated on my car.  While I was in there a homeless man came in and needed money.  He gave the guy a couple of bucks.  I was awed.  Great, honest and friendly service and my work was completed just as promised on schedule.  If this guy could bottle up what he has going for him and his shop and sell it to companies the economy would be booming and business would be back to giving good customer service.  I don't wow easy.  So for me this was a great experience.  It was also a pleasant surprise to have great customer service and kindness all in one spot.  Made for a nice start of a Saturday morning.

It's All About Believing in Your Own Worth

Of all the lessons we learn in life there is only one we truly need.  It is that we are worth what we decide we are worth.  No one should decide your value for you but yourself.  That isn't an easy thing.  We grow up believing we have to live up to the expectations of our family, then as we grow we want to live up to those things we believe our friends want us to be and magazines and society and television.  So many directions we get pulled on what we should or shouldn't do, should or shouldn't want and what we should aspire to have in our lives.  We start clinging to these things as actual.  Happiness comes from realizing though that we are all worth loving and we are all worth getting to know and spending time with.  You can't ask for someone to make you happy.  Happiness comes from being happy with what you have and who you are.  There are things I don't like about myself.  I personally think I need to lose more weight and get in better shape, but I know my worth and my value.  When as a society we can finally all come together and stop judging each other, stop telling others what they should be and how they should feel and how they should act, then freedom and happiness will exist for peace and harmony and all.  Isn't that a nice dream to have of a future where no one decides for you and where we all stop crying wolf and fowl and harm.  I'm so tired of people saying their feelings got hurt because someone didn't like what they said or how they dressed or who they were.  I'm tired of peole telling us we shouldn't wave the American flag or that we don't have the right to expect our language in this country to be English.  If you don't like it that is fine, but toughen up.  Diversity is not a bad thing unless it's shoved down your throat and not even a spoonfull of sugar helps that.  Live and let live and stop asking for someone to fix your life.  You have the power to decide your happiness and to decide to ignore ignorance for the ignorant are truly to be pittied.  Look in the mirror and find your worth.  You are worth loving.  You are worth knowing and life can be good even on the bad days.  It's all about belieing in your own worth. 

Along The Road to Success You Are Bound To Meet an Ass or Two

So the holidays are over and I’ve spent the last two weeks working my tail off to remove the few pounds I put on with the holidays to get back to where I was so I can continue my weight loss journey. They say what doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger. I guess I’ll find out. I have been walking five miles a day and lifting weights and doing a work out in the gym at least 6 days a week for the past two and I’m happy to say I dropped the Christmas weight by doing it. I can tell you too though that I’m worn out, tired and very sore. It takes getting up earlier than I’d like and I’ve been averaging about six and a half hours of sleep a night. I’m an eight to ten hour sleep girl for me to be happy. I just keep telling myself it will be worth it. I slacked off for a couple of months around the holiday. There were too many things going on, too many distractions and not enough time in the day to get it all done. I want to drop down to my appropriate weight by mid summer at least so I’m pushing myself. Don’t worry though I eat a balanced diet and take vitamins. I also spend a lot of time soaking my pour aching feet. It hasn’t been an easy journey and it takes constant reminding me that I’m doing it for me to keep me motivated. Today at the gym a woman asked me if I ever felt like giving up and I simply answered with every day. It would be so much easier to stay home and sleep, lie on the sofa and watch television or read a book and eat whatever I want, but it wouldn’t make me happy it would just make me less sore. Believe it or not though the exercise was not the hardest part of coming off of the holidays, but rather the changing the diet back to being healthy and balanced that was a chore. I’m getting there though, little by little. Most people are very encouraging that I’ve had to deal with on my journey. I started out weighing more than five hundred pounds and I’ve lost over three hundred. Most people are amazed and full of praise and encouragement for me to complete my journey. Every once in a while you run into a complete and utter jerk though that believes they know it all and they have all the answers. That can drag you down if you let it. It can even cause people to fall back into old habits. Having been that heavy I remember how hard it was in my mind to be in public and always feel like people were judging me. I remember the thought of exercising in public scared me to death and eating was never fun because you assumed that people were watching every bite you took. Shopping was a terrifying adventure in its own right. Nothing was ever in my size and no one seemed to want to help me. I had to fight past the images of hatred that are out there. I had to not think of the few idiots that would laugh and judge and ridicule me and decide I was going to do it for me and I wasn’t going to let them hold me back. I had to want it and want it more than I had ever wanted anything before. It’s a different world for me today, even though I still have some to lose. I get asked out quiet a lot. Guys literally stop and back out of doors they were coming in to hold them open for me. If I’m shopping people come up and offer to help me and I never have trouble finding something in a size I can wear in any of the stores. Not to mention I can fit in the seats in waiting rooms and I can walk with out dying for a breath of air or my legs and back killing me. So what got me on this article today was an event that happened early last week. There was a guy I had gone out on one date with last summer. He was fun and it was a great date and we even talked a few times on the phone afterwards, but in those conversations I learned a lot. In one conversation he talked about being broke but wanting another date. I told him money wasn’t important we could do something that didn’t cost anything and he told me no we couldn’t that to have fun he liked to go out and spend money and drink. About everything that sounded fun in this guy’s world required beer I believe. Not a good sign for someone who use to date a drunk. I really don’t want to go down that alley again ever. In talking with him I also learned that although he loved to work with handicapped children he wasn’t so good with adults. He lived by himself with three kittens at the time, probably cats now. Everything this guy started to say told me more and more that dating him probably wasn’t a good option for me, but I always like to keep friends and I feel we can be a positive influence in people’s lives, but we have to be there to be that positive influence. I liked him, but I didn’t like some of the stuff he was saying. He hated gay people and everything they stood for. He at one time compared them to child molesters. I tried to explain the error of his thinking. I let him know that I respect he has his right to his opinion but that this comparison was well off base. These people are not hurting children and their sexual preference is not even close to the same thing. What they do in their personal life is none of his business and his being that judgmental and hateful just isn’t right. He didn’t stop with just gay people though, he pretty much hated black people too as far as I could tell. Archie Bunker would have nothing on this guy. I still wanted to try to help him see differently. All people are equal in Gods eyes. God may or may not like what someone is doing but he loves them all equally. Sexual preference and skin color don’t have anything to do with who a person is inside. This guy saw them all as sinners. Well he cherishes drinking, isn’t there something in the Bible about that? We all sin. We all have to be forgiven for those sins and the only one who should judge us is God, so I guess he’s sinning again by judging people now isn’t he? So at one point this guy dropped off my Facebook page because he just couldn’t stand some of the post by my friends. So I figure his option. A few months back he called my home number out of the blue. Said I had made him see things differently and wanted to be my Facebook friend again. He wanted me to come spend time with him and see him in his little town of Berne. I’m not much for driving but I told him I might do karaoke with him sometime there. So he was being polite and all seemed to be ok. Then last week his car broke down and he made a comment to me about needing attention and I’d know what he meant if I didn’t hang around so many gay people. I understood what he meant just fine, but hey he’s the one who moved to a one horse town because he said everyone in Fort Wayne was a waste of space and he wished it would just disappear or something like that. I think I’m saying it more politely. I think my one friend was right when he said this guy has major anger issues because I don’t know what bee crawled up his rear but he decided to start making nasty remarks and started calling me a liar on my Facebook post. I had posted that I had just finished a five mile walk, which I had, and I was going to lift some weights. He posted: “Yeah right.” Then proceeded to call me a liar, tell me he knew a lot about fitness and I should be ripped if I worked out like I was saying I did on Facebook. I told him it takes a while and I’m getting there and he called me a liar again. He proceeded to tell me he knew fitness. I’d say he knows how to bake his skin too long in the sun, but looking at him fitness is not my first guess as to what he knows. He’s got some muscles… of course one of them is beer induced. He just went off on me in a hateful rage on Facebook. I’ve never been mean to this guy, tried to treat him with respect, tried to be his friend even when I didn’t agree with his opinions and here he is trying to undermine everything I’ve worked so hard for. The old me would have probably gotten a little discouraged. The new me just got pissed off. It wasn’t like he sent me a note and asked how long you been doing this, and are you seeing any progress. If not maybe I can help. That would have been nice. No he went on a tirade. He is definitely someone who needs a full length mirror and needs to take a good, long, and healthy look in it. He has anger issues and hatred issues. I try to hang in there with people I really do. Any of my friends will tell you I try not to judge and I will tell you how I feel but I will respect your rights to your own opinions. I try to be a good friend, but this guy had broken the final straw for me. I guess the whole point of this article is to let anyone out there who is struggling with an issue know that there are more people out there who will support you than the ones who will try to knock you down and that you’re not alone. The assholes are far and few in reality and when you encounter one, laugh because they really are not worth your time and their life is far worse than yours in comparison. They bully and push because their lives are lacking and you’re trying to pull yourself up and they can’t stand that they really suck and you’re doing better. Brush off their dust and move on is what I say. I have loving family, wonderful friends and a multitude of supporters for my journey. I’ll gladly cheer any of you on in yours. I just find it sad that along the road to success you are bound to meet an ass or two.

A Life of Seasons and Pet Peeves

I will be the first to admit that I live my life through my passions. I am a highly emotional person who feels things very deeply. I love completely. If I bring you into my life it’s really hard for me to let you go no matter what. Once you’re in my heart you’re there to stay. We all know life changes though. Just like the seasons there is a spring of newness, a summer of warmth, a fall where it grows a little colder and a winter freeze. It happens consistently every year and constantly. My friends will tell you, if they are honest, that I have the most forgiving nature of anyone you will meet. This is because I know we are all human and I know I do things daily that my friends loved ones and others could read as awful and worth a good chastising. I may give them my opinions, I may tell them I don’t like what they are doing or feel that they are wrong, but I love my family of choice by which others would call friends. I stand by them and support them and even offer them a shoulder if they need a good cry. As a friend recently said, it’s what friends do. When pushed though I will let you go out of my life if it’s the best choice for me. Human nature and self preservation always win out in the end. The last two months for me have been full of changes. They do leave me a little bit of an emotional wreck, but don’t worry I have a good support system to help keep me standing. I’ve lost a friend or two. One to death, the other well their choices made it so. It’s the way it goes. We all have choices in life. Me? I need to work on being more secure in things in my life. I have a tendency to live my life always expecting the other shoe to drop. That is good on one hand because when it does it isn’t as painful, but it’s bad in that we have a tendency to see things that aren’t there if we are expecting them to be. Kind of like the water on the road theory I would think. You know looking in the summer on the road far ahead it looks like water, but you get there and there isn’t any. So I’m working on that. I’m also working on having more patience. Not easy. I have a ton of pet peeves. I mean hearing 3 or 4 radios playing at work when I’m trying to work drives me nuts. There are things called headphones. I use mine when I listen to my music. Not as bad as the singing to the songs. This isn’t American Idol. Of course it kind of reminds me of the auditions. I probably shouldn’t finish my thought there. I’m trying to hold it in and not let it bother me. I like peace and quiet when I’m working. To each their own though. It’s not worth a fight or even a complaint and if I were going to I would complain to them if it got to bothering me that badly. What are some of my other pet peeves? Well right up there at the top is people blowing their nose at the table. Really, you think someone taking a bite of food wants to be reminded of your mucus flow? You could go to the bathroom you know. Manners, get up, excuse yourself and come back. I’m not talking about wiping your nose I’m talking about the people with the car horns for noses in restaurants. I have a tendency to believe they were raised in a barn and the pigs didn’t mind so you know why would anyone else? Then here is one that absolutely drives me nuts: Shuffling your feet instead of walking. Are you that damn lazy that you can’t pick up your feet when you walk? You know your ass might actually get some good out of the movement. It sounds awful and it suggests exactly what I’m stating that you are too lazy to do better. Here we go too… Really chewing with your mouth open and making smacking sounds? Do you think that makes you sexually appealing? I know I know. I have a lot of pet peeves and yes I know I do things that annoy myself and others. I’m opinionated and stubborn and very vocal. Sometimes I feel these things are a plus, but a lot of times they just get me in trouble. I also annoy myself by being overly emotional, but I chalk that up to my passions and desire. I’m very passionate about everything I do. It’s a blessing and a curse, but one I’ll gladly keep in this case. I am a person who has grown over the last couple of years to be a person who doesn’t like to hear all the negativity either. If you don’t have something good to say think twice before complaining. There is nothing worse than listening to someone and everything that comes out of their mouth is negative whether it is about their own life or their friends and family. Surely not everything in your life is that awful and perhaps you need a full length mirror so you can look into it and evaluate your life a little more closely because if it’s all negative you best be looking for some positive. Seasons change. People are there, and then they are not for one reason or another. One should enjoy them while they can. If you’ve lived the good times wisely and cherished them you’ll have something to reflect back on and hold tight to when the winter’s freeze of change grabs hold. Yes I know my life needs some work. I know what I want though. I want to have someone to come home to and make dinner for and take are of. I want to listen to them complain, argue with them, love them and make them happy. If I never have that though I still know that I have chosen my closest friends wisely. They are wonderful and loving and always there for me even when I do something stupid. I may have to pick them up off the floor when they stop laughing, but they are there for me. I have been blessed and I will work on my life this year to lose the remainder of my weight that I want to take off, get in the best shape I can and grow emotionally better. Patience is something I have never had, but I’m working on it. God Bless you all on your own journey. Anyone care to share what their pet peeves are? You can do it anonymously if you like. I know different things bother different people. Feel free to let me know. After all difference is good and sharing is better in a life of seasons and pet peeves.

So Who Decides?

Is there such a thing as politically correct? I mean if you just sit and think about it these days we are catering to the few to spite the many. I suppose you want an example. There are a million examples to be given. We live in the United States of America. There are foreigners in our country and I’m good with that, what I am not good with is not flying our flag or saying the pledge of allegiance because we might offend them. I say offend them, if they don’t like it they can go home. This is AMERICA and it is our flag and our pledge of allegiance. Thinking of the pledge of allegiance, whose bright idea, was it to take God out of it? It offended a few so we take it out? What about the many who believe without God our country would perish? What about those who are proud to say it and offended us would leave it out? Then there is prayer in school. Now I’m not advocating making it mandatory and I’m not saying it should be school led, but if little Johnny wants to get on his knees and say a morning prayer he should be able to and it shouldn’t matter that someone else doesn’t like it. They don’t have to join and they don’t have to watch. There are lots of things that are offensive to me that I see as someone else choice and none of my business. Like putting Budweiser beer lights on a Christmas tree I find offensive. That is me though. If I’m in Johnny’s house and he likes it I have the choice of leaving or closing my mouth. I also find it offensive that people want to start calling Christmas tree’s, holiday trees. I don’t desecrate their holiday items by renaming it because a few people got their panties in a wad and I’d prefer they not do it to mine. I don’t care if the court house wants to put up a menorah. I’m cool with it. There is diversity. It’s something we need to embrace not throw out. Why is it ok to have celebrations for anything as long as it’s not a Christian Holiday? I’ll tell you one thing; the Christian people need to start speaking up. The reason the few are getting their way is because like spoiled little brats (yes I said it) they are throwing a fit and the government and all the other people out there who sit quietly are giving them what they want rather than say buck up it’s part of life. It’s like watching a parent in the stores and a child is throwing a fit so the parent gives it candy or a toy and buys it for them to get them to be quiet. The good parent would watch them throw the fit and then pick them up and leave the store and buy nothing. Why are we catering to stupidity? Sorry folks but I’m wound up. We are raising our children to be soft. We don’t want our teachers to tell them they are doing something wrong or poorly? Are you serious? I do. I mean how does it help little Johnny not to learn life lessons? If he doesn’t learn them as he grows he’s in for a shock when he hits the real world and he isn’t going to be prepared to handle it. When I was a child if you back talked a teacher and your parents found out you were getting a tanning and your parents were apologizing to the teacher. Now days if a child does that the parent wants the teacher to take it and say nothing and the parent won’t either. I can’t believe this is what we are coming to. I remember when swats in school were the norm and if you got one you were getting one when you got home too. I don’t advocate leaving bruises but I don’t see anything wrong with punishment and a little spanking. I survived and I wasn’t abused. You wonder why we have more kids growing up and committing suicide, well maybe we should consider that life is too tough for them because we aren’t teaching them to be tough or what the real world is as they are growing up. I lead a fairly sheltered life, but school taught me to be tough. I was shocked by a lot of stuff but prepared to deal with it because I had dealt with adversity growing up in school. Life is hard enough without being painted the pretty picture of life is great when you’re a child. We all know there are children out there that have it tough. There are children living in homes they shouldn’t which could be a whole topic of its own. The government watches what happens at school and slaps teachers for trying to teach respect and honor and pride, but when it comes to the home life they don’t care as long as the parent is providing a roof and food and clothing? Seriously there are so many things that are wrong and the more people say they are trying to fix them, the more they seem to F*** them up if you ask me. I guess I am just tired of a few people deciding what everyone of us should think, say and feel. I mean really we need to start speaking up. Those of us who don’t like to cause waves need to learn to surf the waters and bring in the tide. Do you even know who decides? Do you sit and say my opinion doesn’t count or who cares really? If we don’t take control of this soon our country is going to just keep getting in worse and worse shape. If you and I don’t decide then who does?

As The Season Turns Cold...

Winter is coming again. Another season is coming to a close and the bitterness and cold will soon sweep in and surround us. Time marches on as they say. I watch as those around me go through many changes just like the seasons. People who were married are divorced, while new couples spring up and work to stay together and make it last. I watch and take in every action, but try my best to stay in the back ground of those relationships. People are never as uptight and anxious as they are about relationships they have with people and trying to get evolved in someone’s relationship and give relevant advice is about as risky as sticking one’s arm down the open mouth of a live alligator. I’d say proceed with caution but who does that? It’s been another year of growth and learning for me. Some of the lessons have been good ones while others have been extremely painful. I have often said though when we stop learning we’re dead. Any of my friends will gladly tell you that I am more than willing to share advice though and give freely from my experience so that they might learn or laugh whichever strikes their mood. I hadn’t really dated in years before this past year. I gave up on meeting someone years ago for reasons we won’t go into at this moment. Needless to say as I always do I jumped right in with both feet and tried to swim. I sank like a dead body with a weight tied around me though if you ask me. Dating has changed since the last time in the early 90’s when I had done it last. I hadn’t done much of it at that time either. I had gone out with a few guys back then and had a couple of relationships, but I was extremely naïve back then and needy. Not that I wouldn’t say I am still needy cause I do need attention in a relationship, but isn’t that what a relationship is? I mean someone to spend time with and talk to? Over the year I have dated a wide variety of guys. I’ve, as I said, learned a lot. The one thing I know is that if you can’t take how a man is you need to move on. You can’t go into a relationship with a list of demands on what needs to change. I mean you can ask for little things like: “please put the toilet seat down when you’re finished” and he might listen. I really wouldn’t hold my breath, but don’t try changing the big stuff. If he’s into porn that isn’t likely to ever change so if you can’t stand a man who watches porn you need to walk away. If he’s into kinky sex and you’re not walk away. That isn’t a tendency that is likely to change. This isn’t to say a man who spends a lot of time with porn might not find he doesn’t need it anymore once he’s with you, but why take the chance if it’s something you can’t live with? The plain and simple truth in my book is if you’re going to love a man or woman you need to be able to love them warts and all. My dad tells a story of how my aunt came home packing her bags a few months after being married because she was angry that her husband spent so much time hunting. He says my grandmother looked at her and asked her if he did it before they got married. When she said yes my grandmother sent her home because it was something she knew about he did before the marriage. It shouldn’t have been something she asked him to change afterwards. I’ve never understood why certain things were expected to change after marriage myself. Yes dating other people, sleeping around and that sort of thing should change, but having a life shouldn’t. There should be couple time and each should have some individual time. I have never understood why one wouldn’t want to spend a little time apart so that they can miss each other. It makes those times together so much nicer don’t you think? I also think people put way too much stock in stereotypes. We could write a book about the mistakes with stereotyping people of either sex. Not everyone is going to fit a profiled type. Either way you write it down this year has been a journey and an interesting one. For me it’s been one of growth and understanding of both myself and of the opposite sex. The one thing I know is if a person makes you happy while you’re with them and they are attentive and calling and texting then be happy with that. I take the happiness where I find it. I really don’t understand those who have to try to change their mate or worry 24/7 about what the person is doing in the time they are not with them. If they make you happy when you’re together enjoy that time while it last because who knows when it won’t be that way anymore. So as this season turns cold I’ll smile at the lessons learned and at the ones I know are yet to come. Whether they are good lessons or bad ones they are part of life and are what help us to grow.

Laugh, Love & Live

It may not always be easy, but try to laugh. Life really is too short to walk around with ones head hung low. It may not always be easy, but find a way to push the disappointments to the side. We all have them. We all have days when our pockets are empty on funds, our world feels as if it’s falling apart and it appears not a soul on the planet cares whether we live or die, but there is always someone who cares. It always amazes me when I find out people have talked about me whether good or bad, because I’ve always walked through life assuming no one gave a damn enough about me to say a single thing. I’m always amazed and awed. I’m flawed, I’m human and I hurt just like anyone else, but for the most part I try to see the good. Recently I had one friend bad mouthing another one of my friends. The problem I had with this wasn’t that the person had issues with the other, it was that the one they were putting down had done so much for them and was still attempting to on many levels and it bothered me that they would run them down into the ground to me, especially knowing I was friends with them. I didn’t feel it appropriate and it bothered me a lot. Not surprisingly this person has run me down to other people who have told me about it as well. I just have to shake my head. I could let it get me down because I do care about him, but I’m not going to waste my energy at this point. Then this past week was filled with a multitude of emotional questions. There is a guy I think I like a lot, but I’m not sure if it will go anywhere. That is so nerve racking. It’s not that he doesn’t like me, I know he does, it’s just I guess I don’t trust anything until it happens and I want someone to want to be with me regardless of things… more obstacles. I hate obstacles and how they leave me feeling, but again I refuse to be down. I am not saying I don’t take days where I cry my eyes out and feel like giving up because I do. I think everyone has those days, but I have learned that you have to push yourself past that, pick yourself up and dust yourself off. I’ve come too far down a road to health and happiness to let little stumbling blocks like financial woes, not knowing about someone whether it work out and friends who can’t prove they are worthy get me down. Life is golden and should be cherished. So find a reason to smile and laugh every day. You can choose to let life drag you down or you can beat it back, say yeah I know you won, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to care. Laugh, love and live life to the fullest. It’s really all we have.

Cookies Are What They Are & So Am I….

So they say you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink… I say throw it in and as it’s trying to get out it’s bound to get some water down and will drink. You think you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, make it hungry. I suppose I’m the old dog in this cliché. I can learn given the appropriate circumstances and prompting but I am very old school in a lot of my thinking and actions. I am the first to admit I know very little about dating or at least the way people think it should go these days. I’m not a game player so I’m not going to pretend to be the feeble or be a damsel in distress to get a mans attention. I have been told by many of my friends that I need to learn to play the game. I need to learn to act uninterested and to use a man to get free dinners and movies and then act unattainable to get his attention. Are you serious? Is this what you men want? You want a woman to play games with you? I guess I will forever more be single then because I won’t play games. I won’t act interested in you or lavish you with attention just to use you to get free food or movies. It isn’t who I am. If I am interested in you I see no reason not to let you know and then you can decide from there whether you’re interested. Let me tell you I personally think a man an idiot for not taking me up on my offer because I know I am more than capable of making him more than happy, but that is something men don’t seem to care about. They don’t care I can cook or that I’m loyal or that I enjoy every aspect of the relationship. They really seem to get flustered that if they act uninterested or tell me they aren’t that I don’t chase them or play some game to try to get them interested in me. I don’t have time for games, nor do I want to play them unless they are the games played between two people in love. To me it seems most of you guys want Barbie Dolls. Good luck with that. Barbie dolls are pretentious and will emasculate you at every turn. They will try to keep you under their foot instead of walking proudly beside you or following your lead. I do so want a relationship with someone I am interested in. There is the other rub now isn’t it? Life often has people interested in people who are not interested in them. Is that like a big karmic joke? You know though out of the last two guys I had relationships of any sort with I wasn’t really interested in them when I first met them and couldn’t see myself being interested in them. I mean the one I just had whatever it was I had with when I first met him I thought he was nice but that was it. As I got to know him I began to like him and saw him differently, so guys if a girl isn’t interested at first it doesn’t’ mean she won’t be at some point. It’s all about your approach. Being too eager can make her take a step or two back though. I’m just saying. Now as for dating can someone please explain the rules to me? I mean to me proper etiquette says if I ask you out and don’t discuss the payment arrangements of the date with you ahead of times, then I pay for the date. If you ask me out, you do. Has this changed? I mean I don’t mind going half and half with a guy. I don’t mind paying part or even taking him out every once in a while, but I would like to have it discussed with me. I recently went out on a date where I ended up spending money I wasn’t expecting to and it left me in a really tight financial crunch for the week. I wouldn’t have minded if it had been discussed, but it did bother me somewhat that it wasn’t. I’m just asking because I obviously don’t have a clue anymore about anything in the dating world. Also what point in the dating relationship do you see sex as being an approachable subject? I really find it offensive if it’s on the first date. Am I wrong again? Anyway I suppose I’m just a little on the old fashioned side. I like my doors opened, my chair pulled out and I like the man to order for me. He might ask me what I want, but when the waiter comes I like when a man orders for me. What can I say; I’m a romantic at heart. I’m the type of woman that if I go to a cookout or a party with a man then yes I will be waiting on him. I will go get him something to drink or eat and I will be where he can see me at all times if not right by his side. I’m also the type of girl that once I start dating a man I want him to be secure in our relationship so sorry guys if you’re straight and my friend I’m probably not going to be texting, emailing or calling you. I will probably delete all records of anything before this guy out of my email and my life. As a friend said, if I am not comfortable when my guy walks up to me then whatever I’m doing is wrong. I believe that. So what it comes down to is that cookies are what they are and so am I. I don’t know how to be anyone else. I’m not sure I’d want to be. It’s an adventure to say the least. One that has me down a little because I feel like giving up, but I will keep trying, because you just never really know if love is right around the corner or not.

WEBCAM?

It's no secret that me and technology are not friends. My friends that are into it though keep dragging and pulling me by the hair to get me caught up. I guess I'm just not overly fond of it. I mean I am one of those people, that although I have gotten use to my cellphone I dream of days gone by when you could actually escape away from everyone to places where you could not be reached. Remember going on vacation and not talking to friends and family while gone? Not to mention that I think a great romantic get away would be to go off to a cabin together with no cellphones, no televisions, no computers. Wow! I know I'm going crazy here aren't I? I just think that sometimes technology goes a little over board. I mean when you're sitting at a table with someone and you're texting them rather than talk to them there is a big problem if you ask me. Now, I have to admit to having done it if I wanted to say something private, but our kids are doing it just because it's how they communicate, so what is the harm? They are forgetting how to communicate face to face. I actually heard a radio spoof about a man whose daughter brought him his cell phone (local DJ) then went back up stairs to her room and text him the question of when dinner would be. Couldn't she have just walked down and asked him? So I finally entered into the WEB CAM game. I bought one, a cheap one to start. I didn't want to invest a lot of money until I found out if I liked it. So the verdict is I like it. It's kind of fun to be able to see the person you're talking to and have them see you, but it does have it's draw backs too. It has definitely added another layer to the online dating thing. I mean this way you can ask them if they have a cam and you can offer yours and you can see before you meet what they actually look like. What a concept. Yes the pictures on this post were taken with the web cam. The one that is blurry was my first attempt. I am getting better. So what are your opinions of modern technology? What about WEB Cam's? Do you own one? Would you want one? What ways do you think they are good or not good?

The Pride and Problems of Being Human

I think all of us have been seated upon a pedestal that someone has placed us on at one time or another. It’s really not a very comfortable position to be in no matter how much one might think it is. The person on the pedestal knows that sooner or later they’ll either be knocked or fall off and then in the eyes of the person that held them there they will somehow be a little less. I had this happen to me recently. I was held in high esteem by someone and had a moment of human weakness. Now that person treats me so differently it’s not even funny, which in some ways knocked them off the pedestal I had placed them on. It is a form of irony, so what can one really say? Sometimes when I know someone is holding me too high up I almost want to run before it ever even becomes a friendship. I don’t run though because I have found in life that you should always take a chance and live and have fun when you can. It can lead to heart ache, but then how much fun is it sitting at home alone on the sofa watching life just passes by you? I do have a little bit of a mean streak in me though. I mean, I know I am a fun person to be around according to most and I have a good time when I am with people, but I can be a little re-active. Yeah that is a good word for it. Example: I met this guy last weekend. He asked for my number, I didn’t sleep with him so I figured fifty-fifty on whether I’d ever hear from him. So he text me and asked me if I wanted to do something Sunday. Not one text but multiple text right up until 6pm to set this all up. Never sent the final text never came. Then the next morning I get an, oh, sorry I was drinking and lost track of time. Then this guy had the nerve to send me another text asking me if I wanted to go out on Monday night and tell me he was eating breakfast with his dad. Was he serious? So yesterday out of the blue I text him a message going wow you know you really need to learn how to follow through message for fun. I think he’d deleted my number and he seemed to have no clue who I was or what I was talking about. He sent me a “What” text message. I simply replied: You’re a big boy and you can figure it out and never responded to the other three text messages he sent trying to figure it out. A little on the mean side, it probably was. What can I say, but that I found it to be a little slice of fun for me? I suppose I really shouldn’t have but then what can I say. I guess I just feel I deserve better than that treatment. I know I feel like I deserve love, which is something life seems to have kept far away from me for far too long. I do believe for the most part though in allowing my friends, family and even ex boyfriends to find happiness and have a good life. I would never interfere in their attempts at doing so. This brings me to another issue. For the record for anyone out there that wants to know I do have self esteem and a little bit of pride, so even if I am interested in you I am not begging, crawling or attempting to sabotage you in any form or fashion to have you. If and when we get together it will be mutuall. I am not one of those soap opera plotters. As a matter of fact, to my dismay I am one of the most honest women I know when it comes to talking to the men in her life. You don’t know how many of my friends have told me I shouldn’t be so honest and I should play hard to get because it’s a game for a guy and they need the game. I guess I’ll stay single then because I don’t play games that the two of us haven’t agreed to ahead of time. I can keep a man smiling though. LOL… Some of you will never know what I mean by that. There are problems with pride in our humanity. It can get in our way and keep us from pulling close to those things that we most desire. This is one article I could probably keep going for an eternity because it is something I believe in. I believe in our humanity to make us unique and interesting. I believe in our pride to keep us humble. I guess you could say I just simply believe in the pride and problems of being human.

********* Plenty Of What? ***********

So after a long break from the dating world I decided to give it a whirl a few months back. It has been an interesting adventure to say the least. The dating game has changed over the years that I took myself out of it. Did you know that “hooking up” is now terminology for get together to have sex? Funny when I say it I mean lets do lunch or dinner or a movie. People also now have a more open concept to when sex should be started in a relationship. I for one don’t think it should be on the first date. So I decided to check out some of the websites out there for singles. The three I chose to check out where “ZOOKS” on face book, www.LatinoPeopleMeet.com and www.plentyoffish.com which is a free website. The “ZOOKS” website and “Latino People” both charge you a monthly service fee to utilize their websites. I doubt I will be a member for more than one month on either of the chargeable sites. I haven’t found them to be much different than the one that is free so why bother. I tried “ZOOKS” simply because it was connected to face book. On it I have only found one guy that I would consider relationship interest to me, but did find one that is a friend interest so I guess it has been worth it on that. On Latino People I have found several prospects but so far nothing that has come to have anything come of it. I joined that site because Latin mean get my blood to pumping. Unfortunately a lot of the guys on there don’t get that a woman might be on that website because she’s looking for Latin men, but then I guess the men could say the same about the women. I’m not Latin. When I first signed up, the first website I signed up for was Plenty of Fish. What an awful name first of all. Shouldn’t we women be offended? I guess I’m over it though because I have had seven dates in the last two weeks off that site. When I first signed up for the site though I sort of felt like fresh bait in a piranha tank. I couldn’t believe how quickly and how many emails I got. I started out trying to be friendly for niceness sake with anyone who emailed me. Trust me when I say I’ve gotten over that rather quickly as I was asked a bunch of things I really don’t find polite conversation. It’s amazing though how asked by one can offend you and by another not so much. I guess human nature that if someone attractive asks it doesn’t sound as bad? That is bad isn’t it? What kills me though is one guy I had great emails going on with I gave my cell number and the first thing he did was send me a picture of himself in a Speedo. Let me tell you this guy should NEVER be seen in a Speedo and I guess his sending me that picture should have been a clue to run right then and there. Since he and I had such good emailing conversations before that though I tried to look past the ugly picture that was now embedded in my mind. I mean after all personality can make people who may not be that attractive, attractive to me. So what happens. This guy not only tells me he wears a size sixteen shoe and he hopes “size” isn’t a problem for me, but then he tells me he has a “lip” fetish and likes them big (no he wasn’t talking about the ones on my face, I know sick right?). Oh and get this… the final icing on this guys cake was that he told me he had to sleep with me to find out if there was a possibility of a second date. Say what? What a conceited, selfish, idiot this guy was. He’s a fireman in Elkhart too. Feel sorry for them. At least he really was good at putting out fires cause I wanted him before he revealed himself to be the big jerk that he was. Fire successfully put out. Good job Mr. Fireman. Then there was a twenty-one year old guy who wanted to VTEXT me naked pictures of himself so I could see if I wanted to screw him or not because he definitely wanted to hook up with me. First of all he’s young enough to be my son, secondly I’m not sure that is a good foundation for a relationship, of course I really don’t think he was looking for a relationship. Then there is this one that seems really sweet and all, but I’m thinking he has a wife or a girlfriend. He’s never on in the evenings or weekends… .only seems to be on from work. I’m thinking what is wrong with that picture? My over all opinion though.. I think it is possible that on one of these sites one could find a good relationship. I had a very enjoyable dinner on Thursday night with a man and laughed and laughed. On Friday night I enjoyed the company of a very nice man as well. So I guess they do exists. I also met someone not on the website… Not sure any of them are the one but I guess time will tell. I don’t really see a reason to pay a website with a free one out there though. I also think there are some old fashioned ways that are still good to find a date. At least on Plenty of Fish you know right up front whether the person has kids and whether they want more or not. For me that is a big issue right there. I mean if I never have children I am fine with it, but if I get with a guy that wants kids then he needs to know one or two at the most at my age. There are lots more guys I could tell you about on these dating sites and I am sure they have their own war stories, but for now I am going to give it a little more time and see what happens. I will update you as I go along. As they say for now I guess I will keep fishing and see if anything nips at the bait. Again, plenty of what?

Judge Not...

I am the queen of over thinking things. Lately my hormones (due to medications) have been a raging mess. I cry at the drop of a hat. Commercials make me cry. Now if you know anything about me you know I am not the type to cry easy so this is really screwing with my head. Then with the fact that my mind is constantly going you know I’m bound to make mistakes. Oh, well. I have always tried not to judge other people and let them live their lives. I let them make their mistakes without my imputing my two cents to make them feel worse when it falls apart, but I am human and as a human we judge things all the time. We judge people by how they walk, how they speak, how they dress and even who they date or hang out with. We make pre-conceived opinions based on stereo types that society has set in place. We judge foods, and jobs as well as books and movies and music. The bible tells us not to judge unless we want to be judged, well I have found the last few times I’ve been judgmental about anything it has come back to bite me in the ass. My biggest problem I have with judging people is I have a tendency to expect people to react like people from my past. I know everyone has been hurt, but I carry scars that appear to cause me to keep making the same mistakes. I expect people to let me down eventually. I look for it. I wait for it. It shocks me when they don’t or when I assume they have and I find out they haven’t. It’s a learning experience I suppose. Hopefully it’s one that doesn’t keep happening and doesn’t cost me happiness. Recently someone asked me what I want out of life and out of a relationship with a man. It’s easy really. Out of life I want enough money to pay my bills, a place to rest my head and for my body to be in shape and healthy. Out of a relationship I want my best friend. I want someone who is willing to share everything with me whether it’s their heartbreak and tears or their laughter and smiles. I want someone who even when they aren’t in the mood will still give me a reassuring hug or touch. I want someone I can depend on and someone who depends on me. I want honesty. I think honesty is the key to everything and yet sometimes I forget to open my mouth and offer it. I want someone I don’t have fear with. I want someone I can be proud of and someone who is proud of me. I want someone I could see being a good dad and a good lover. I want someone who can give me guidance and advice and can do it lovingly. I guess you could say I want it all. Hey don’t judge me. Doesn’t everyone want it all? So I’ll keep trying to judge not I suppose. What about you?

The Right’s and Wrong’s of Idiocy

“id·i·o·cy
n. pl. id·i·o·cies
1. Extreme folly or stupidity.
2. A foolish or stupid utterance or deed.
3. Psychologically: Idiocy is the state or condition of being an idiot; profound mental retardation.”

Yes, you do have the right to be wrong. I will never argue that point with anyone for any reason. You have the right to be a lot of things, which perhaps you really don’t want to be. So what has me on this topic? Service and work in America. When did it become baby-sitting and non-caring and cold? I have tons of examples of what I am talking about so sit back because we could be here all day. Now granted I am not the calmest of people. I can be excitable so my first tale of woe is not out of character for me, but I was sleep deprived or I probably would not have been quiet so mean. At a local restaurant on Sunday night I met some friends. I really wanted to see them, but knew I was exhausted so I probably should have passed. I ordered two stuffed peppers (they are small), a side of lettuce, side of tomatoes and a side of fries. (No I shouldn’t have had fries). Now I understand the peppers are normally an appetizer, but everyone else was ordering food. I waited tables for 18 years part time and I can tell you I would have asked me if I wanted them brought out right away or with everyone’s dinner. Now I could have forgave the bringing it all out to me as an appetizer, but the guy shows up with two peppers. No lettuce, no tomatoes, no fries. Ignorance is a sore spot with me. Mistakes I can handle but ignorance, not so much. To me, and I know this is only my opinion and I do have the right to be wrong lets not forget, it’s common sense that I at least didn’t order a side of tomatoes and lettuce to go with my French fries. I am just saying. OK, so we are not training kids to think these days either. We are raising a bunch of lazy and ignorant kids. (NO NOT ALL OF THEM) I happen to know a few young people that are very smart and work, but it’s few. A lady at the gym yesterday asked me if I had noticed the under thirty crowd didn’t seem to want to work in the work place I was like – uh, yeah. Again I am not talking about all of them. True story: A couple of years ago I went through Rally’s drive thru. My bill was $4.85. I gave the kid a $5 bill. His computer went down. He hands me 42 cents back. I then explained to him the error of his way and he had me wait while he went and got his supervisor, who then stood there and used a calculator to figure out the difference in $5 and $4.85. No apologies for my wait, although I’m sure the look on my face was priceless. We can’t tell our children in school that they are doing wrong or that they are incorrect. What kind of horse manure is that? Our kids shouldn’t be treated shabby, but they need to learn the reality of the real world. Telling them they are doing well at something but perhaps they should try it this way when they totally mucked it up is stupid. Whoever decided that needs my booted foot to meet their… Anyhow, I suppose I should get off what’s wrong with American dance, this is about idiots and their rights. I really don’t want to stray that far off topic. I remember when working in the work place was good. Yes I am old enough to remember that. I remember wanting to do a great job and wanting to make sure my supervisor succeeded just as much as the company and I did. I worked hard and it felt good. In those days companies gave you an assignment and then let you run with getting the task accomplished. I’m here to tell you that anyone out there working today knows this isn’t true. First of all most supervisors have forgotten that their success comes from making sure you succeed and that having smart people below you and listening to them makes you succeed all the more. Ask Donald Trump and he will probably tell you that he got to where he is today because he had great people behind him. The person who forgets or tries to walk on those below them often fails. If I were to guess I would also guess that Donald Trump doesn’t micro manage the hell out of everything. A good manager or supervisor will hire people they can depend on and then turn them loose to run with it and only come to me if you have to type basis. Most supervisors today loose so much precious time and energy because they have to know every little thing going on below their supervisors. They have to put in their style and taste and heaven forbid the supervisors under them do anything they don’t like. Most I managers I have seen are unapproachable (We do have a really good director where I work who is very approachable, we are lucky in that respect) and even if they say they have an open door policy they make you feel subservient and unwelcome. Not to mention that whatever you throw out there you can almost feel their inability to really hear it because it isn’t the way they feel things should be. A lot of your management these days has the book smarts; they just don’t have the people skills or common sense to go with it. I’m talking all companies that I have observed too. I watch these places like fast food restaurants and department stores and it’s easy to see even if you don’t work there. That is what sucks for them even more is that the eye that isn’t there every day, the customer can see it. I went to McDonald’s a few weeks ago to meet my dad and brother for breakfast. The store manager was running the register because they were short staffed. Now, I as well as anyone can understand being short staffed, but she looked up at me and said nothing then turned and walked away. I stood at the register a good five minutes before she ever returned and then I spoke to her. She goes uh sorry we are really busy so many people called off. One) I don’t care. I feel for you but as the customer I don’t need to know your people called off and I’m not stupid if you were staffed as a manager you would not be taking orders. Two) Acknowledge me with a good morning I’ll be with you in a moment and it might save pissing off a customer and I might be a little more understanding of your situation. I am just saying…. Another thing I HATE and don’t necessarily agree with when a supervisor says it: “Well we can’t make everyone happy.” I might agree that everyone is not going to be happy all the time, but I’m guessing most people will settle for content and it really shouldn’t be that happy to at least aim for pleasing the majority of your staff so that they feel like working for you. OOOOOHHHH and here’s one for you that is just too funny… “You do such a good job at it and I know you won’t complain even though you don’t like doing it.” OK, so I hate it and I have never complained about having to do it periodically because I am a team player so you put me there on that task for three weeks. Gees maybe I should start complaining and not work so hard at it? No that isn’t me I will still work hard at it, but it won’t get me a warm and fuzzy feeling towards management. It’s kind of like the dog going outside to pee instead of on your rug and you beat it anyway, after a while the dog will pee on the rug. LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS ONE – “I really know personally I don’t do well at that job”… so lets stick me in that job, because after all you have the right to be wrong and you really didn’t want it done well anyway did you? You want me to act like an adult and do my job? OK, how many times have we heard supervisors in all walks of life say that? Then why do they treat you like children at recess? People will act the way you treat them. If you tell a child over and over again that they have problems or are a bad child, guess what, it’s not rocket science that they will start to believe it and act that way. Same thing goes with good employees. If they get lumped into the evil employee category sooner or later they will be bad employees. It is going to happen. I have another lovely example of ignorance in the working world for you. Come on, you knew I did. When working second I got to I would go to Meijer when I needed something instead of Wal-Mart. Now usually I could find it cheaper and get it for less at Wal-Mart so it doesn’t make sense to pay more when one can get it for less in only a shorter distance does it? Let me explain why I did then. Wal-Mart employees will not help you at night if you need something that is down an isle they have closed off for sweeping. You can’t maneuver around the store because they have crap out everywhere and again they won’t help you. They have one lane open with what is usually the world’s slowest check out person who ever existed. I responded with some thoughts on this to them on a survey and their local supervisor of the West Jefferson Wal-Mart’s called me and talked to me. No apologies for my troubles, no thanks for the feedback, but what he did say: Well late night is the best time to do that stuff that puts our customers out and they only have so much time to get it done so they don’t have time to get stuff for customers and it has to be done at some time. Now how does Meijer approach it? They are actually smiling at one in the morning. The employees who are stocking ask you if they can help you and if an isle is closed own they go under the tape and go get whatever it is you need. If you forget something and are at the register they will send someone back for it. The isles are not as cluttered, and they seem to get it stocked in the allotted time. They apologize for being in your way. It’s a different experience and one to me that is with the small financial difference. I go where I get treated well. Simply put the management probably doesn’t beat their employees down and they realize the customer has needs that need to be met. It really isn’t rocket science. There are rights and wrongs of idiocy and most often companies big and small just have them wrong. Of course that is their right.

The Age Old Question...

When did we as a society stop respecting age? I mean I know that no one wants to grow older, but I am proud of my age. Hell I’m proud that after all the stupid mistakes I’ve made in my life and illness I’ve had in my life that I’ve lived as long as I have. With age comes wisdom, uh, most of the time anyway. Now I admit to having some vanity. I mean I do cover the gray hair, although it’s more I don’t like the way it looks than the fact that I care about it being a sign of age. I would rather not have any wrinkles. I would rather the girls were perky. I would rather not have the aches and pains that come with time, but I am proud of my age. I also think I don’t look my age, which is a good thing. I have a hard time understanding when people are upset by their age to the point that they lie about it or try to hide it. I suppose society has driven them to it, especially if they are women. I mean it’s perfectly ok for a man to age, he is called distinguished. A woman is just called old. A man with a much younger woman is considered OK and lucky. A woman with a much younger man is considered a cougar. A woman can have children into her early fifties usually, while a man can have them up to the day he dies. Somehow all these things just are not right. Statistically a woman will outlive her mate if the same age by about ten years. I find that fascinating on so many levels. A person’s age and dating is its own beast of burden. Do you want someone older or younger or would you prefer them to be your age. Some people think it makes a big difference, I really don’t. My grand parents on my mom’s side were sixteen years apart as well as I have an aunt and uncle about the same and several cousins who have married someone well their senior. They all seem to be happy. I think when you’re looking for a mate that it should be about compatibility. You need to find someone who you can enjoy time with, someone who likes things you like. As I told someone yesterday though if you are not in love with a person I don’t think you should ever marry them. True love, does it exist? Yeah I think it does. Even if we are not talking relationships though and are just talking age in general I find it sad that the American people have forgotten to wonder and marvel at their elders. I miss the days of sitting on a porch and listening to the old timers telling stories. I miss my neighbor Mr. Wall with all his adventures. People for the most part anymore want to just put the elderly in a retirement home and forget them. At least it appears that way to me. A few years back I did some volunteer work and sat with some elderly to keep them company at a nursing facility and I found it sad that some of the people there the nurses said their families never visit. A lot of cultures out there do respect their elders and take care of them in their own homes. For whatever reason though here in the good old United States of America we have forgotten that they were once young, they were once us, and they deserve to be respected for all they have given. Heck even the government is letting them down with the faltering Medicare and Social security benefits that are way past needing an over haul. I find beauty in seeing an older couple walking and holding hands. I for one don’t find age repulsive and I know personally when you get to know someone the beauty on the inside can make them very attractive regardless (notice I did not type irregardless as it is not a word per a very good friend of mine.) of the packaging on the outside. Vanity reigns high in most people’s lives though. I find nothing wrong with trying to look your best and be your best, but age should not be something we cower from. Every day we live is another day of wisdom and in my book another day of respect we should have earned. I aspire to be Crabby Roads by the way… So how do you feel about the age old question?

Change is Part of Life

I understand people’s nostalgia for times gone by. Really I do, but change is a part of life. It seems more than a few people are upset by the closing of my old high school, Elmhurst. All they talk about is stopping the closure of the school. Part of me can understand that, but I’m also somewhat of a realist. I realize that the building is old and in need of a lot of repair. I realize that even when I went to school there it got extremely hot and uncomfortable in the classrooms in May and the first part of June until school was out. The building has no air conditioning. I also realize that the building would literally shake when they were blasting at the gravel pit and must admit that on more than one occasion it caused alarm to encompass my very being while trying to listen to a lecture. I have a tendency to have a little more compassion for the people who don’t want the school gone for reasons that their children will have farther to go to school than I do for the ones who just want to keep it around because it’s where they went to school. It’s OK to have fond memories, but we shouldn’t hold onto or try to live in the past. Right now there is a group that gathers monthly of old Elmhurst, Wayne, and whatever other school out there. That is fun. It’s remembering the past and relishing in the friends we have made along the way, the ones we could make again and just a few good times, but it has nothing to do with a building. The spirit that belonged to those kids that graduated from that school will live on whether the building is there or not. The memories will be with us and some of the memories will be good and some will be bad. I say again that it is just part of life. The older I get the more I realize you don’t need material objects to have memories. I don’t need a picture to recall my grandmother standing on the porch waving to us as we would leave from visiting with her. I can still recall it in my mind as if it were yesterday. I don’t need the doll my parents bought me when I was eight years old to remember how much I loved that doll and the memory of them giving it to me. The possessions may be nice and sometimes having them is a fond way to recall, but the memories linger in each of us. If they tear down Elmhurst tomorrow and build something else there, it still will not take away the memory of hours spent with friends and teachers in that place. The decision to close Elmhurst is one that is emotional to many, but it is economically a sound choice made by the school board we elected to watch out for our children and for our financial needs to see that the educational system does not fail us. I am sure that none of those board members were aiming for Elmhurst based solely on the premise that they didn’t like the school itself, so if you see them out there please be nice to them. They are given a budget and there is only so much they can do with it. I would much rather they close schools than some other options. The bad part though is we are probably losing some outstanding teachers at those schools that are closing. It’s too bad they can’t keep the teachers and just place them at new schools. Once again, I understand the sentimentality. I understand even better those parents who don’t want their kids shipped off or who moved to the neighborhood so their children could go there. I’m also really more inclined to have major sympathy for those teachers and employees who will find themselves unemployed. I am not trying to be heartless. I am just being practical. Life is about change and this is just another one unfortunately that we’ll have to adjust to.

Emotional needs count too…

Seems to me our government has its sticky little hands/paws in about everything we do or try to do these days. They tell us it’s not okay to spank our children, even though the Bible says “spare the rod, spoil the child”. (NO, I’m not advocating child abuse, but a little rump roast every once in the while with no bruising really doesn’t hurt anyone) They tell us that we have to have their permission to add onto our homes and even pay them for the privilege. They tell us even who we can love if you stop and think about it. All the while they are controlling every aspect of our life and they say they are doing it for the “greater good”. They are doing this to protect the innocent. Where are they with laws that really should be put in place to protect the innocent? It seems to me that on most things our government has it pretty much backwards. Not to mention that most things that are governed appear to be in protection of the few and not the many. The one that has me going and is driving me insane these days has to do with parental rights and a child's mental well being. Did you realize that in this great state of Indiana all our government cares about is that a parent provide sufficient food, an adequate roof over the child's head, clothes and see that they get to school. That is it. It doesn't matter if the child suffers mental anguish or abuse. No one cares in our child protective services, governmental blunder ship here in this great state. OK, maybe someone cares, but there are no laws to help it or so it would seem. The laws also seem unfair to me when they favor a woman simply because she's female and appear to believe that because she has a womb she's automatically the more nurturing and better parent. I don't get it. I think that the laws should take into consideration whether or not children are thriving in the environment in which they are in. I mean a child that goes from doing well in school to all of a sudden doing poorly, getting in trouble and being put on mental medications should be investigated as to what is going on in the home. Children are not as resilient as our government seems to feel and instead of checking it out they often just assume the child has problems and that it couldn't be associated with home life. I had a good upbringing for the most part, but I do have some mental scars from growing up and I can tell you not one spanking left any type of permanent mark, but some of the emotional ones I've fought my entire life. I believe emotional is worse. I also feel that if people have children that their children should come first at least until they are 18. I hear people argue they should get to have a life. They chose to have children. Their children should be their life. I don't mean they can't have a little time every once in a while to themselves. Everyone needs that. How I see it is that a divorced parent has every other weekend to do whatever they want. The weekends they have their children should be about their children. If they don't like having to devote all week and every other weekend to their children then perhaps they should not be the custodial parent. If you love your children and you can't devote yourself to them then it's the loving thing to do to give them to the parent that can. Don't you think so? It's not a failure to know ones own limitations. I spent a lot of time with my parents growing up. My parents allowed me time to be a kid and always made sure I knew they were here for me. There are so many things I could write in here and regardless of what someone may think this isn't meant to be directed at anyone in particular. I just think times have changed. I think laws need to change too. I know several single dads that want to be a part of their children's lives. They want to make active decisions. They want to spend as much time as they can with their children. Yet it seems the laws are all on the sides of the mom's. They give her full say in almost everything and limit the dads rolls. I know if people would be mature adults there would be no reason for the government to even need to be involved. I mean is it really that hard for parents to realize their children need both their mom and their dad and that time should be freely given without stipulations between both? Is it hard to understand that a child is a thinking being and can give you some insights into how they feel about the things that go on inside the home? No matter what our government thinks I'm here to tell you that I know emotional needs count too.... it's not enough to supply some sort of food, clothing and a roof. Time, love and devotion go into making a healthy and stable child that will grow into a well rounded adult. I'm just saying.... it's only my opinion but emotional needs count too.

*** Plan B ***

Let me start by saying it is my opinion that everyone is entitled to their
opinion whether they are right or wrong. Seriously though the opinions
expressed in this blog are mine and are not meant to insult anyone or upset
anyone, just to make you stop and think and to give you the opportunity to
express your opinion on the topic as well. This just happens to be on my
mind. --- If you’re super sensitive to this topic you may want to sit this
one out.

Abstinence is the safest form of birth and disease control. That is what they say, right? Well, one would have to agree and could hardly argue that they are correct. The problem here is it is not happening. You know it and I know it. I’m not for promoting sex in teenagers so don’t even go there with me; however, I do feel it’s a parent’s responsibility to talk to their children about sex and to teach them and prepare them to keep them safe. My parents, God I do love them, but they never had any form or fashion of a sex talk with me. Heck my mom didn’t tell me about my menstrual cycle until I had all ready been on it a year and using her pads. Guess she didn’t notice. My parents are and always have been and will be old fashioned. Nothing wrong with it, except with society the way it is today we can not afford to not inform our children of the facts. The fact is that Aids is real. The fact is that once you have a girl pregnant, there is no turning back, no matter the choice you make. Yes I said choice. I know it’s a word that gets the pro-life folks standing in line to beat down doors and yeah to an extent I’m with you because I am pro-life, but I am also pro-choice. So how can I be both? That is an easy answer. I don’t believe I or anyone else has the right to make choices for anyone else or to tell them what their relationship with God is or how their body should have to suffer. And before you go there I have all ready heard the argument about watching a child be neglected and no I wouldn’t stand by and watch someone beat a kid, but I don’t see this as the same thing, sorry, save your breath. I would never dream of asking a girl who was the victim of rape or incest or who might die while doing so to carry a baby that she couldn’t possibly want. On the other hand if she aborts it she’ll have that cross to hang on to for I’m sure it has to be an emotional roller coaster. I seriously don’t think there is anything that could make me abort a baby, but I’ll also tell you that at this point in my life I don’t want children of my own. As much as that probably is to the dislike of my mom and dad I don’t. I don’t even know if I want a husband, let alone kids. A partner to share life is a wonderful thought, but finding that right person is tricky. I like my life for the most part the way it is. So with that said, we know people are not going without sex, but are they being safe with sex? I have talked to several people that claim they just can’t stand to have sex using a condom. So I suppose they like the idea of and STD? I’m here to tell you that if the choice is no sex or using a condom most people will use one so girls don’t let the guys tell you that and guys don’t let the girl hood wink you. While we are on that subject guys really you do need to know if you can trust your partner. I mean just because a girl says she’s on the pill don’t make it so. I had an ex room mate who purposely got pregnant knowing the guy was from a hard core Catholic family and that the guy would marry her. I think it was wrong and I doubt it ever came with a happily ever after the way she might have thought, but I’m telling you there are girls out there that will do it. And girls you need to be doubling up on your security too. Just because he wears a condom doesn’t mean it won’t break or he hasn’t damaged it or lubes might make it less effective. Seriously sex is not to be treated lightly. It comes with emotional and physical ramifications. Now, if you do find yourself in a bind ladies where the condom breaks or you’re in a “hurry” and don’t ask him to wear one or oops didn’t take my pill today, there is a product out there you can buy called “The Plan B Pill”. It’s not meant to be a permanent form of birth control and trust me when I say you wouldn’t want it to be. Walgreen's sells it for around $45, Wal-Mart’s around $55. The difference is that Walgreen's is a two pill taken at 12 hour intervals where Wal-Mart’s sells a single dose pill. What is this pill? Simply put it is a pill that prevents fertilization and ovulation. Yes I said prevents fertilization, so if you take it you are not killing a living human being because one hasn’t been created yet. I know there are still people out there that think it’s wrong because you should allow God to decide, but this pill is no different than using a condom or taking the pill to me. Even with that said though there are several pharmacies that refuse to carry this pill simply because of the religious up roar that it comes with. It is often referred to as a morning after pill, but is not exactly the same pill. This one works to stop fertilization from ever happening in the first place. This pill needs to be taken within 72 hours of having unprotected sex or from the time of whatever occurred to make you suspect you need it. The longer you wait the less likely it will work and ladies there is only an 89% change it will work in the first place. I know that sounds like a good number, but it leaves 11% odds in favor of becoming pregnant. I’m just saying. This pill does have some side effects that can occur and I would highly recommend you read up on it long before ever needing it to make sure it’s an option, but it is out there and it is available should the need arise and for those that are thinking it’s expensive, well how much does it cost to raise a child these days? So if you’re in doubt you might want to take a chance and roll the dice, or see your Walgreens or Wal-Mart’s pharmacists and get “The Plan B Pill”. It’s just another option for you. So if you hadn’t heard, I wanted you to know there was one available. Again, this is all only my opinion.