The Reflecting Pool.

Memories are a wonderful gift that I believe we all take for granted from time to time. Our memories help us grow and develop. The memories we have can bring us happiness or sadness. They our in essence our own reflecting pool on our own lives. I suppose it is natural for one to periodically sit, or walk as in my case, and reflect on periods of time and what lessons we learned. Today as I was walking I thought about a friend that I have re-introduced into my life. I thought about where we were twenty some odd years ago and how much I have changed. I thought about how sometimes in life we remove people and places in our lives so we can grow. Back when I hung around with him before I cared deeply about him as a friend, but I was incapable of being a true friend to anyone. I was confused and sad more often than not. There were years of my trying to establish in my own mind who I was and what I wanted. There were years of anger because I didn’t have the picture perfect life I wanted and disappointment that life wasn’t handed to me on a silver platter. I don’t really recall when we drifted apart. I just remember myself slowly and methodically removing people from my life. I didn’t even really know why. I isolated myself to a small group of people and I rarely got out or did anything. Then I devoted myself to my work and to my family. I did a lot of praying and a lot of thinking. Slowly I raised myself out of the anger and pain. I came through the fog with the help of different memories we won’t go into right now. I brought myself to a place where I am happy as an individual. I’m not saying I don’t ever get depressed or have moments of confusion or sadness, but they are rare and usually I can talk myself out of them. So once I was in this place of spiritual and self assurance I decided I wanted to look back and see what from my past was worth bringing back into my present. One person stood out in my mind. So I took a chance and re-introduced myself and thankfully I was welcomed back. I just wonder if he knows how much I cherish our friendship and how special I think he is. I then looked for other friendships I felt were beneficial and special and cultivated them back into a meaning in my life as well. I’ve found that sometimes we leave relationships because we have no choice. For me I have had to do that to a few in the past because I couldn’t be around them without them bringing me down. On some levels I believe the old me was this type of person that would bring people down. I wasn’t capable then of being a good friend. Now I feel I am and I hope all my friends know I am here for them. Life and memories are a reflecting pool of sorts and I for one will keep them forever in my mind.