Why I'm here....

Since I've always been quick with an opinion an old friend once lost and again found suggested that perhaps I should share with more people my commentary. Never being one to pass on a challenge I thought I'd give it a whirl.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Cookies Are What They Are & So Am I….

So they say you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink… I say throw it in and as it’s trying to get out it’s bound to get some water down and will drink. You think you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, make it hungry. I suppose I’m the old dog in this cliché. I can learn given the appropriate circumstances and prompting but I am very old school in a lot of my thinking and actions. I am the first to admit I know very little about dating or at least the way people think it should go these days. I’m not a game player so I’m not going to pretend to be the feeble or be a damsel in distress to get a mans attention. I have been told by many of my friends that I need to learn to play the game. I need to learn to act uninterested and to use a man to get free dinners and movies and then act unattainable to get his attention. Are you serious? Is this what you men want? You want a woman to play games with you? I guess I will forever more be single then because I won’t play games. I won’t act interested in you or lavish you with attention just to use you to get free food or movies. It isn’t who I am. If I am interested in you I see no reason not to let you know and then you can decide from there whether you’re interested. Let me tell you I personally think a man an idiot for not taking me up on my offer because I know I am more than capable of making him more than happy, but that is something men don’t seem to care about. They don’t care I can cook or that I’m loyal or that I enjoy every aspect of the relationship. They really seem to get flustered that if they act uninterested or tell me they aren’t that I don’t chase them or play some game to try to get them interested in me. I don’t have time for games, nor do I want to play them unless they are the games played between two people in love. To me it seems most of you guys want Barbie Dolls. Good luck with that. Barbie dolls are pretentious and will emasculate you at every turn. They will try to keep you under their foot instead of walking proudly beside you or following your lead. I do so want a relationship with someone I am interested in. There is the other rub now isn’t it? Life often has people interested in people who are not interested in them. Is that like a big karmic joke? You know though out of the last two guys I had relationships of any sort with I wasn’t really interested in them when I first met them and couldn’t see myself being interested in them. I mean the one I just had whatever it was I had with when I first met him I thought he was nice but that was it. As I got to know him I began to like him and saw him differently, so guys if a girl isn’t interested at first it doesn’t’ mean she won’t be at some point. It’s all about your approach. Being too eager can make her take a step or two back though. I’m just saying. Now as for dating can someone please explain the rules to me? I mean to me proper etiquette says if I ask you out and don’t discuss the payment arrangements of the date with you ahead of times, then I pay for the date. If you ask me out, you do. Has this changed? I mean I don’t mind going half and half with a guy. I don’t mind paying part or even taking him out every once in a while, but I would like to have it discussed with me. I recently went out on a date where I ended up spending money I wasn’t expecting to and it left me in a really tight financial crunch for the week. I wouldn’t have minded if it had been discussed, but it did bother me somewhat that it wasn’t. I’m just asking because I obviously don’t have a clue anymore about anything in the dating world. Also what point in the dating relationship do you see sex as being an approachable subject? I really find it offensive if it’s on the first date. Am I wrong again? Anyway I suppose I’m just a little on the old fashioned side. I like my doors opened, my chair pulled out and I like the man to order for me. He might ask me what I want, but when the waiter comes I like when a man orders for me. What can I say; I’m a romantic at heart. I’m the type of woman that if I go to a cookout or a party with a man then yes I will be waiting on him. I will go get him something to drink or eat and I will be where he can see me at all times if not right by his side. I’m also the type of girl that once I start dating a man I want him to be secure in our relationship so sorry guys if you’re straight and my friend I’m probably not going to be texting, emailing or calling you. I will probably delete all records of anything before this guy out of my email and my life. As a friend said, if I am not comfortable when my guy walks up to me then whatever I’m doing is wrong. I believe that. So what it comes down to is that cookies are what they are and so am I. I don’t know how to be anyone else. I’m not sure I’d want to be. It’s an adventure to say the least. One that has me down a little because I feel like giving up, but I will keep trying, because you just never really know if love is right around the corner or not.


ida said...

well, i've never played a game. and if i ever did it wasnt for long. it only backfires on you. you cant chase a man. but, you really cant act uninterested. i say be honest and if they have a problem with it move on and act very cool and unconcerned about it. if for some reason they see the mistake then make them ask you out and take no shizzzz. but, then i am a different type of breed of woman i beleive.

ida said...

i think you should talk about sex with your friend that you date when it comfortable with the both of you. there is no rush. but, its nice to see what they are really wanting. trust me. most men talk of sex eithor way right away to clear the air. they dont expect us women to talk about it. they expect a game. so you should say something when the time is right. and if your like me that dont partake in sex alot you really need to clear the air so both of you are happy. that is if the poor man can handle it. :)