Sunday, July 11, 2010
The Pride and Problems of Being Human
I think all of us have been seated upon a pedestal that someone has placed us on at one time or another. It’s really not a very comfortable position to be in no matter how much one might think it is. The person on the pedestal knows that sooner or later they’ll either be knocked or fall off and then in the eyes of the person that held them there they will somehow be a little less. I had this happen to me recently. I was held in high esteem by someone and had a moment of human weakness. Now that person treats me so differently it’s not even funny, which in some ways knocked them off the pedestal I had placed them on. It is a form of irony, so what can one really say? Sometimes when I know someone is holding me too high up I almost want to run before it ever even becomes a friendship. I don’t run though because I have found in life that you should always take a chance and live and have fun when you can. It can lead to heart ache, but then how much fun is it sitting at home alone on the sofa watching life just passes by you? I do have a little bit of a mean streak in me though. I mean, I know I am a fun person to be around according to most and I have a good time when I am with people, but I can be a little re-active. Yeah that is a good word for it. Example: I met this guy last weekend. He asked for my number, I didn’t sleep with him so I figured fifty-fifty on whether I’d ever hear from him. So he text me and asked me if I wanted to do something Sunday. Not one text but multiple text right up until 6pm to set this all up. Never sent the final text never came. Then the next morning I get an, oh, sorry I was drinking and lost track of time. Then this guy had the nerve to send me another text asking me if I wanted to go out on Monday night and tell me he was eating breakfast with his dad. Was he serious? So yesterday out of the blue I text him a message going wow you know you really need to learn how to follow through message for fun. I think he’d deleted my number and he seemed to have no clue who I was or what I was talking about. He sent me a “What” text message. I simply replied: You’re a big boy and you can figure it out and never responded to the other three text messages he sent trying to figure it out. A little on the mean side, it probably was. What can I say, but that I found it to be a little slice of fun for me? I suppose I really shouldn’t have but then what can I say. I guess I just feel I deserve better than that treatment. I know I feel like I deserve love, which is something life seems to have kept far away from me for far too long. I do believe for the most part though in allowing my friends, family and even ex boyfriends to find happiness and have a good life. I would never interfere in their attempts at doing so. This brings me to another issue. For the record for anyone out there that wants to know I do have self esteem and a little bit of pride, so even if I am interested in you I am not begging, crawling or attempting to sabotage you in any form or fashion to have you. If and when we get together it will be mutuall. I am not one of those soap opera plotters. As a matter of fact, to my dismay I am one of the most honest women I know when it comes to talking to the men in her life. You don’t know how many of my friends have told me I shouldn’t be so honest and I should play hard to get because it’s a game for a guy and they need the game. I guess I’ll stay single then because I don’t play games that the two of us haven’t agreed to ahead of time. I can keep a man smiling though. LOL… Some of you will never know what I mean by that. There are problems with pride in our humanity. It can get in our way and keep us from pulling close to those things that we most desire. This is one article I could probably keep going for an eternity because it is something I believe in. I believe in our humanity to make us unique and interesting. I believe in our pride to keep us humble. I guess you could say I just simply believe in the pride and problems of being human.