Why I'm here....

Since I've always been quick with an opinion an old friend once lost and again found suggested that perhaps I should share with more people my commentary. Never being one to pass on a challenge I thought I'd give it a whirl.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Along The Road to Success You Are Bound To Meet an Ass or Two

So the holidays are over and I’ve spent the last two weeks working my tail off to remove the few pounds I put on with the holidays to get back to where I was so I can continue my weight loss journey. They say what doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger. I guess I’ll find out. I have been walking five miles a day and lifting weights and doing a work out in the gym at least 6 days a week for the past two and I’m happy to say I dropped the Christmas weight by doing it. I can tell you too though that I’m worn out, tired and very sore. It takes getting up earlier than I’d like and I’ve been averaging about six and a half hours of sleep a night. I’m an eight to ten hour sleep girl for me to be happy. I just keep telling myself it will be worth it. I slacked off for a couple of months around the holiday. There were too many things going on, too many distractions and not enough time in the day to get it all done. I want to drop down to my appropriate weight by mid summer at least so I’m pushing myself. Don’t worry though I eat a balanced diet and take vitamins. I also spend a lot of time soaking my pour aching feet. It hasn’t been an easy journey and it takes constant reminding me that I’m doing it for me to keep me motivated. Today at the gym a woman asked me if I ever felt like giving up and I simply answered with every day. It would be so much easier to stay home and sleep, lie on the sofa and watch television or read a book and eat whatever I want, but it wouldn’t make me happy it would just make me less sore. Believe it or not though the exercise was not the hardest part of coming off of the holidays, but rather the changing the diet back to being healthy and balanced that was a chore. I’m getting there though, little by little. Most people are very encouraging that I’ve had to deal with on my journey. I started out weighing more than five hundred pounds and I’ve lost over three hundred. Most people are amazed and full of praise and encouragement for me to complete my journey. Every once in a while you run into a complete and utter jerk though that believes they know it all and they have all the answers. That can drag you down if you let it. It can even cause people to fall back into old habits. Having been that heavy I remember how hard it was in my mind to be in public and always feel like people were judging me. I remember the thought of exercising in public scared me to death and eating was never fun because you assumed that people were watching every bite you took. Shopping was a terrifying adventure in its own right. Nothing was ever in my size and no one seemed to want to help me. I had to fight past the images of hatred that are out there. I had to not think of the few idiots that would laugh and judge and ridicule me and decide I was going to do it for me and I wasn’t going to let them hold me back. I had to want it and want it more than I had ever wanted anything before. It’s a different world for me today, even though I still have some to lose. I get asked out quiet a lot. Guys literally stop and back out of doors they were coming in to hold them open for me. If I’m shopping people come up and offer to help me and I never have trouble finding something in a size I can wear in any of the stores. Not to mention I can fit in the seats in waiting rooms and I can walk with out dying for a breath of air or my legs and back killing me. So what got me on this article today was an event that happened early last week. There was a guy I had gone out on one date with last summer. He was fun and it was a great date and we even talked a few times on the phone afterwards, but in those conversations I learned a lot. In one conversation he talked about being broke but wanting another date. I told him money wasn’t important we could do something that didn’t cost anything and he told me no we couldn’t that to have fun he liked to go out and spend money and drink. About everything that sounded fun in this guy’s world required beer I believe. Not a good sign for someone who use to date a drunk. I really don’t want to go down that alley again ever. In talking with him I also learned that although he loved to work with handicapped children he wasn’t so good with adults. He lived by himself with three kittens at the time, probably cats now. Everything this guy started to say told me more and more that dating him probably wasn’t a good option for me, but I always like to keep friends and I feel we can be a positive influence in people’s lives, but we have to be there to be that positive influence. I liked him, but I didn’t like some of the stuff he was saying. He hated gay people and everything they stood for. He at one time compared them to child molesters. I tried to explain the error of his thinking. I let him know that I respect he has his right to his opinion but that this comparison was well off base. These people are not hurting children and their sexual preference is not even close to the same thing. What they do in their personal life is none of his business and his being that judgmental and hateful just isn’t right. He didn’t stop with just gay people though, he pretty much hated black people too as far as I could tell. Archie Bunker would have nothing on this guy. I still wanted to try to help him see differently. All people are equal in Gods eyes. God may or may not like what someone is doing but he loves them all equally. Sexual preference and skin color don’t have anything to do with who a person is inside. This guy saw them all as sinners. Well he cherishes drinking, isn’t there something in the Bible about that? We all sin. We all have to be forgiven for those sins and the only one who should judge us is God, so I guess he’s sinning again by judging people now isn’t he? So at one point this guy dropped off my Facebook page because he just couldn’t stand some of the post by my friends. So I figure his option. A few months back he called my home number out of the blue. Said I had made him see things differently and wanted to be my Facebook friend again. He wanted me to come spend time with him and see him in his little town of Berne. I’m not much for driving but I told him I might do karaoke with him sometime there. So he was being polite and all seemed to be ok. Then last week his car broke down and he made a comment to me about needing attention and I’d know what he meant if I didn’t hang around so many gay people. I understood what he meant just fine, but hey he’s the one who moved to a one horse town because he said everyone in Fort Wayne was a waste of space and he wished it would just disappear or something like that. I think I’m saying it more politely. I think my one friend was right when he said this guy has major anger issues because I don’t know what bee crawled up his rear but he decided to start making nasty remarks and started calling me a liar on my Facebook post. I had posted that I had just finished a five mile walk, which I had, and I was going to lift some weights. He posted: “Yeah right.” Then proceeded to call me a liar, tell me he knew a lot about fitness and I should be ripped if I worked out like I was saying I did on Facebook. I told him it takes a while and I’m getting there and he called me a liar again. He proceeded to tell me he knew fitness. I’d say he knows how to bake his skin too long in the sun, but looking at him fitness is not my first guess as to what he knows. He’s got some muscles… of course one of them is beer induced. He just went off on me in a hateful rage on Facebook. I’ve never been mean to this guy, tried to treat him with respect, tried to be his friend even when I didn’t agree with his opinions and here he is trying to undermine everything I’ve worked so hard for. The old me would have probably gotten a little discouraged. The new me just got pissed off. It wasn’t like he sent me a note and asked how long you been doing this, and are you seeing any progress. If not maybe I can help. That would have been nice. No he went on a tirade. He is definitely someone who needs a full length mirror and needs to take a good, long, and healthy look in it. He has anger issues and hatred issues. I try to hang in there with people I really do. Any of my friends will tell you I try not to judge and I will tell you how I feel but I will respect your rights to your own opinions. I try to be a good friend, but this guy had broken the final straw for me. I guess the whole point of this article is to let anyone out there who is struggling with an issue know that there are more people out there who will support you than the ones who will try to knock you down and that you’re not alone. The assholes are far and few in reality and when you encounter one, laugh because they really are not worth your time and their life is far worse than yours in comparison. They bully and push because their lives are lacking and you’re trying to pull yourself up and they can’t stand that they really suck and you’re doing better. Brush off their dust and move on is what I say. I have loving family, wonderful friends and a multitude of supporters for my journey. I’ll gladly cheer any of you on in yours. I just find it sad that along the road to success you are bound to meet an ass or two.

1 comment:

ida said...

i'm glad you cut him loose. this dude is just all about wrong. a serial killer in the making.