Why I'm here....

Since I've always been quick with an opinion an old friend once lost and again found suggested that perhaps I should share with more people my commentary. Never being one to pass on a challenge I thought I'd give it a whirl.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Ghosts of The Past and New Beginnings

I guess one might say that 2008 has been a year of soul searching for me. I have been going back through my mind through all the years and trying to make peace with all the choices I've made. This picture is of myself (on the left) and what use to be a fairly good friend Patty. And No, I'm not a Giant, Patty is just a little height challenged. My height is five foot nine inches to give you a good idea. I haven't gotten together with Patty for almost three years. It will be three years on New Years Eve to be exact. Sometimes in life there are just people we have to distance ourselves from for our own good, even if it hurts. This was the case. I took a good long look at the relationship and found no good value for me anymore. As a matter of fact it was a destructive relationship for me on many levels. My friend Joe recently talked about astrological signs and that two people he knew were very true to their nature. I guess I believe I am too. I always try to look out for other people. I've done that so much so in my life that I was forgetting to take care of me. The other day I was talking to a friend on the phone and I told her I wanted to try to get in shape both mentally and physically. Along with get my finances in good standing and get my house in order. She said to me it sounded as if I had some strong goals. I hadn't looked at it that way, but I guess I do have some rather hefty goals and that is exactly what they are. Not just words. I want to do these things for me and I want it more than you can imagine. It means taking a new look and a new approach at life. Dealing with old ghosts and starting with new beginnings. The first step, face what I really want for me. The second, be realistic and honest with myself. The third, go for it and believe it in with all I have in myself. A great example of something I need for me: When I'm in the stores shopping I have always looked for whatever I thought other people would like. What other people would need. I was in Meijers last night and looked at several things for other people and almost bought the stuff. But then I thought about how I needed to do the financial crunch thing and what is good for them, might not be good for me. It seems selfish I suppose. But I am forty-one years old. That is half way probably at least through my life. Half done or more. I need some of my life for me. I need to get me in a good place and then maybe I can be good for myself and good for them as well. So hopefully those who are in my life will see a lot of good changes in me over the next year or so. Hopefully in doing what is right for me, it will bring me closer with those I love. So ghosts of the past be gone, it's time for new beginnings.

1 comment:

ida said...

i've been really doing some soul searching for the last few years. been feeling exactly the same why you have. sigh life goes on...