Friday, August 14, 2009
Dream Like Days
Some days life can be almost dream like. By stating it's dream like I am not stating it's good or bad. I am simply implying that one might feel as if they are standing on the outside of their own body watching their life as it plays out. Today has been kind of like that for me. I woke up way too early. Not sure of what the uneasy feeling was that caused me not to be able to sleep. I suppose it could be a million things. Lord knows there are enough things on my plate or my mind. I have a house project of cleaning and organizing that I just can't seem to get done. I am working on it nightly though. I have financial stress; however, I rarely let that take me past an oh well I will do what I can stage. Work has been more than unusually stressful on all levels. It seems to me to be more than usually busy. Then there is stress of my "ill" feelings about children being medicated into submission, but seeing as how I really don't want to cause anymore stress to anyone else I'll keep going on past that one. There is also the intuitive side of me that feels others emotions. It's on overload these days. So many people under so much stress. Summer is also coming to an end. That always leaves me bluesy. I really need to live where there is warm weather all year round. If my family wasn't here I would. I have another injury. Seems like I am injury prone these days. My right leg right above the ankle. Makes walking really fun let me tell you. Last night I wrapped it in towels with Epsom salts on them. Don't know how I did it, but I have a knot right above the ankle and above that there is a four inch square area that is red and hot to the touch. The salts and stuff worked last night... The wraps took the swelling and redness away, but today after standing at Target and merchandising it is back. Don't worry I will walk on my lunch break though. I have come to far to let this little set back stop me. Then the final straw on the camels back today is that I got my reminder letter to schedule my six month follow up mammogram. Six months. Wow! Time does go fast. It left a queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach as I called my insurance to make sure my exam would be covered and then as I called Lutheran Hospital to get the exam scheduled. I suspect they will find nothing has changed and that everything is OK; however, one never knows. So yes today has been dream like. I am here and living it, yet somehow detached and almost emotionless to some degree. Perhaps this lack luster reaction to today is caused by lack of sleep. I am not sure, but I do suspect it's just a part of life and that everyone has these days. Tomorrow I have a game night to look forward to with friends. That should perk me up. Enjoy your summer days you have left. One truly never knows if it could be their last.