Why I'm here....

Since I've always been quick with an opinion an old friend once lost and again found suggested that perhaps I should share with more people my commentary. Never being one to pass on a challenge I thought I'd give it a whirl.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Step By Step and I'm a Science Project

Step by step.  Baby steps.  Walking through it all in my mind.  Last week the nurse practitioner told me if it takes more than 48 hours for the test results to come back the results are probably not good.  She looked at me and said I really don't know why.  I looked at her and said maybe they want to recheck them before they tell someone their life is f***.  I called this morning.  It had been a week today.  They acted almost annoyed that I was calling again.  Said they had me on their planner to call just as soon as the results came in.  So what were the results.  Same as they were before I ever got my cervix frozen in the first place.  Still bad old cells that really need to get the heck out of my body to ensure my long life.  So what is next is a procedure called "LEEP" or Loop electrical excision procedure.  It basically means they are going to take a knife sharp looped tool and go in with a special scope find the cancerous or bad cells and use the tool to cut them out.  They will go well below the places to ensure they get all of it.  This all takes place with a local anesthetic and it all takes place in the doctors office not a hospital.  I will go in and have the procedure and an hour later I'll be at my desk at work.  Some bleeding and probable lots of pain.  In and out.  Just like that and I'm just suppose to take it with a grain of salt.  Then more wait time, retest an go from there.  In and out just like that.  It's nerve racking at best, and today I found myself half wishing no one knew cause then I could bury my head and pretend it isn't happening.  That isn't me though.  I tell my stories, what happens to me and what I go through for several reasons.  One to get it out so it doesn't drive me insane and two to help others who may go through this.  I have had an enormous amount of support and women who have had the same thing happen to them and they give me encouragement.  It's scary being a female and going to the gynecologists office. You just never know what they are going to say and each time I go I am more nervous than the last these days because all I want to do is have it all done and it just keeps going and going and going.  I think my doctor can afford that new BMW now since I keep going in.  Well that was just a quick update.  I'll keep chugging along and I appreciate every one's support.  Right now though I just want to get the next step done and go from there and forget it as much as possible.  We'll see what happens.  It's making me feel like a high school science experiment though.  You know lets see what happens if we do this? 

No comments: