Thursday, April 22, 2010
Torture Never Felt So Good
So Sunday when I went to try to do my workout routine I found it extremely painful. I didn’t understand why because even though I knew I was sore from previous days working out I knew it shouldn’t be as hard and as painful as it was. I felt a little beat and like what the heck, but I tried to do them and sweated profusely and got through it. I push myself. Lately I am thinking I need to push myself even harder, although some people would disagree with me, like my parents. I have a goal in sight and it’s so frustrating knowing I am getting so close yet still not there. I had a lady ask me in the locker room last week if I ever feel like giving up. I simply said, “Everyday”. I mean who wants to push themselves so hard that they cry? Who do you know that enjoys pain? For me it’s simply that I want my life back and I want to be healthy and the best I can be, so I don’t give up. I’ve come so far, but sometimes the journey seems so long. I’m very appreciative of a couple of friends that push me harder than I push myself and give me advice to keep me going and help me get the most out of my work outs. Although I understand my mom and family and friends may mean well when they tell me to take a day off or missing just one day can’t hurt, for me it’s kind of like telling a drunk that just one drink won’t kill them. I need to keep pushing myself until I hit my goal. I need to keep going daily and working at it to keep myself motivated. I know once I hit my goal I can go to a maintenance routine but for now I need to go. I also understand it doesn’t leave me with a lot of spare time, but it’s my choice. Anyway turns out I had a fever and was passing kidney stones on Sunday night. I spent four hours with the porcelain thrown on Sunday night before finally deciding I needed sleep so badly that I popped a couple of Vicodan and went to sleep. Then I went to my doctor on Monday who told me that is what had happened and I might be passing more. A few medications later and I was back home, warn and tired. I slept the better part of the next sixteen hours. By Tuesday evening I was still in pain somewhat, but it was subsiding. I still have an infection and I’m taking antibiotics for it, but I think and hope and pray the worst of it is over. I wouldn’t wish that experience on anyone. I’m use to pain though. This is probably why I didn’t think much of it at the gym. I’ve endured a lot of pain in my life so it’s easy for me to dismiss as this or that. Yesterday I was back at the gym in full force. I forced myself through a routine I find pure hell at the moment, but I did each and every exercise that I was shown and did all my reps and didn’t complain. I hurt though like you wouldn’t believe when I left the health club yesterday, but the fact that I had done it and that I am still not one hundred percent made me feel great. I am going back for more tonight because achieving my goals are my driving force and some how torture has just never felt so good. Join me?