Since I've always been quick with an opinion an old friend once lost and again found suggested that perhaps I should share with more people my commentary. Never being one to pass on a challenge I thought I'd give it a whirl.
Sunday, August 2, 2015
Oppression Be Damned… And Those Who Would Can Bite Me….
OK, so with every year that goes by I learn more and more about myself. I suppose if I didn’t I would be dead. I’m beginning to think that Maxine from the cartoon Crabby Roads and I are living the same life at times. I’ve always tried to be a giving girlfriend or partner or heck even friend but I’m finding the old saying love yourself first to be quiet true. I refuse to be depressed and down over stupid shit and other people’s Idiotic opinions anymore. Today I was sitting at my desk getting kind of down because I’m thinking I’m 48 and I spend a majority of my time alone. Of course spending time alone isn’t all bad. I rarely find I argue with myself. I never forget to throw out the empty milk carton, there is always toilet paper on the roll and I know exactly how to squeeze the toothpaste out of the tube. Sitting there I thought to hell with people who want me to be someone else to be in their life. So I grabbed my little MP3 Player, popped in the earbuds and did a thirty minute Jam session walking lunch break. It was awesome. As I walked I thought and for the first time ever when I’ve been in this mood not one damn tear dropped from my eyes, instead, just like that little warm tingle in the Grinch’s heart, I got pissed off that someone would tell me I need to do anything to be in their life. If you don’t like me the way I am shove off. I’ve figured out finally that I’ve allowed people to oppress me within my lifetime. First I did it growing up with my dad. I love my dad and he’s a good man, but I don’t feel anything I’ve ever done has ever been good enough for him. I’ve always felt like the failure he raised rather than the person I am. I am far from a failure. Then I let the men I dated oppress me by giving in to whatever they wanted to do, where they wanted to eat, their time schedules, you name it I was there. I thought that was how it had to be. Then a man in 93 oppressed me into fear for many years. Not going to go into that one. Work, religion, family obligation, you name it I was being held back by my idea of what it should be. I believe everyone does this to some extent and I suppose they live through it but I’m 48 and I’m done saying when is it going to be my turn. I don’t come when anyone snaps their fingers or whistles anymore. I will still love, still be me, still help out… There was no invasion of the body snatchers here I’m just saying I’m not going to cow-tail to anyone to make them happy. It’s not my job to make them happy. It’s my job to make me happy. Am I the only one feeling this way? So Oppression be damned because I’m not your beeeaaach anymore.