So Who Decides?

Is there such a thing as politically correct? I mean if you just sit and think about it these days we are catering to the few to spite the many. I suppose you want an example. There are a million examples to be given. We live in the United States of America. There are foreigners in our country and I’m good with that, what I am not good with is not flying our flag or saying the pledge of allegiance because we might offend them. I say offend them, if they don’t like it they can go home. This is AMERICA and it is our flag and our pledge of allegiance. Thinking of the pledge of allegiance, whose bright idea, was it to take God out of it? It offended a few so we take it out? What about the many who believe without God our country would perish? What about those who are proud to say it and offended us would leave it out? Then there is prayer in school. Now I’m not advocating making it mandatory and I’m not saying it should be school led, but if little Johnny wants to get on his knees and say a morning prayer he should be able to and it shouldn’t matter that someone else doesn’t like it. They don’t have to join and they don’t have to watch. There are lots of things that are offensive to me that I see as someone else choice and none of my business. Like putting Budweiser beer lights on a Christmas tree I find offensive. That is me though. If I’m in Johnny’s house and he likes it I have the choice of leaving or closing my mouth. I also find it offensive that people want to start calling Christmas tree’s, holiday trees. I don’t desecrate their holiday items by renaming it because a few people got their panties in a wad and I’d prefer they not do it to mine. I don’t care if the court house wants to put up a menorah. I’m cool with it. There is diversity. It’s something we need to embrace not throw out. Why is it ok to have celebrations for anything as long as it’s not a Christian Holiday? I’ll tell you one thing; the Christian people need to start speaking up. The reason the few are getting their way is because like spoiled little brats (yes I said it) they are throwing a fit and the government and all the other people out there who sit quietly are giving them what they want rather than say buck up it’s part of life. It’s like watching a parent in the stores and a child is throwing a fit so the parent gives it candy or a toy and buys it for them to get them to be quiet. The good parent would watch them throw the fit and then pick them up and leave the store and buy nothing. Why are we catering to stupidity? Sorry folks but I’m wound up. We are raising our children to be soft. We don’t want our teachers to tell them they are doing something wrong or poorly? Are you serious? I do. I mean how does it help little Johnny not to learn life lessons? If he doesn’t learn them as he grows he’s in for a shock when he hits the real world and he isn’t going to be prepared to handle it. When I was a child if you back talked a teacher and your parents found out you were getting a tanning and your parents were apologizing to the teacher. Now days if a child does that the parent wants the teacher to take it and say nothing and the parent won’t either. I can’t believe this is what we are coming to. I remember when swats in school were the norm and if you got one you were getting one when you got home too. I don’t advocate leaving bruises but I don’t see anything wrong with punishment and a little spanking. I survived and I wasn’t abused. You wonder why we have more kids growing up and committing suicide, well maybe we should consider that life is too tough for them because we aren’t teaching them to be tough or what the real world is as they are growing up. I lead a fairly sheltered life, but school taught me to be tough. I was shocked by a lot of stuff but prepared to deal with it because I had dealt with adversity growing up in school. Life is hard enough without being painted the pretty picture of life is great when you’re a child. We all know there are children out there that have it tough. There are children living in homes they shouldn’t which could be a whole topic of its own. The government watches what happens at school and slaps teachers for trying to teach respect and honor and pride, but when it comes to the home life they don’t care as long as the parent is providing a roof and food and clothing? Seriously there are so many things that are wrong and the more people say they are trying to fix them, the more they seem to F*** them up if you ask me. I guess I am just tired of a few people deciding what everyone of us should think, say and feel. I mean really we need to start speaking up. Those of us who don’t like to cause waves need to learn to surf the waters and bring in the tide. Do you even know who decides? Do you sit and say my opinion doesn’t count or who cares really? If we don’t take control of this soon our country is going to just keep getting in worse and worse shape. If you and I don’t decide then who does?

Mothers and Daughters

It's been a while since I've been in the mood, or had the time to write. Seems like this summer, especially towards the end got really really busy. I did make time for things that I feel are important in life though and one of those was spending some time with my mother in the kitchen. Mothers and daughters can either be very close or very far apart. I am happy to say I am very close with my mother and I enjoy spending time with her. I don't see any resemblance in the way we live our lives, but we always find away to communicate and enjoy ourselves. My mother by all means is the most peace loving and honest person you will ever meet in your entire life. She loves everyone and I can honestly say I've only seen her angry a couple of times in my life. She can work my nerves like no one else though. I think there is just some genetic code out there that lets a mother get under her daughters skin and move around. I know often times she doesn't mean to, but she does. I have no doubts I probably work her nerves some too. (NO eye rolling there for those of you that know me.) I've watched as my mother's disease has taken her back slowly over the past couple of years. My mom has Parkinson's and there are many things she will have to face with the disease. She's all ready having some problems talking. She loses her voice or has a weak voice often and she blames it on allergies but I've read on the disease and it is just what it is. Her shaking has some bad days, but luckily for all of us she still has some really good days. She's walking very very slow these days unless you put her behind a shopping cart. You would not believe how fast that woman can walk behind a shopping cart. I've tried to tell her she might want to at least think of using a cane to steady herself when not behind a cart but she is stubborn. That is definitely one thing she and I have in common. She has a hard time getting up and down and she stoops a little when standing. She's still my mom but it's heart breaking to see a woman so full of life and so willing to go on having these issues. She does exercises every day and eats well. She doesn't intend to go down without a fight. That is the fabric my mother is made of. So as I've watched my mother become more feeble the realization that she won't always be around has become ever so more real to me. I recently realized I didn't know how to make half the foods she cooks and that this knowledge would be lost unless I did something. I plan to try to learn as many of her food recipes as I can, but that won't be easy as my mother doesn't measure anything. She simply walks into a kitchen grabs this or that and tosses it in. Last year I tried several recipes for Peanut Butter Fudge that I found online. None of them could touch my mothers so recently I had her show me how she makes hers and I then made some for friends. It wasn't easy, but she went slow and I watched and tried to figure out measurements and took notes. I got it right I believe as my last batch I took friends should attest. There are so many things she makes I want to know how though. Like her cornbread. Now northern folks think that corn muffin stuff is corn bread. It's not. Cornbread is not sweet by any means. Cornbread is salty and very very good in a glass of milk when warmed. It generally is made in a cast iron skillet in the bottom of the stove. Other than that I can't help you on figuring it out, but I plan to. Isn't this the way it's suppose to be? I mean mothers pass things like this down to their daughters don't they? At least they use to. I think a lot of this type of thing is lost these days with technology and that is too bad. Either way you slice it there is nothing better than the bond between mothers and daughters. I love my mom very much and I've been very blessed to have had her in my life.

As The Season Turns Cold...

Winter is coming again. Another season is coming to a close and the bitterness and cold will soon sweep in and surround us. Time marches on as they say. I watch as those around me go through many changes just like the seasons. People who were married are divorced, while new couples spring up and work to stay together and make it last. I watch and take in every action, but try my best to stay in the back ground of those relationships. People are never as uptight and anxious as they are about relationships they have with people and trying to get evolved in someone’s relationship and give relevant advice is about as risky as sticking one’s arm down the open mouth of a live alligator. I’d say proceed with caution but who does that? It’s been another year of growth and learning for me. Some of the lessons have been good ones while others have been extremely painful. I have often said though when we stop learning we’re dead. Any of my friends will gladly tell you that I am more than willing to share advice though and give freely from my experience so that they might learn or laugh whichever strikes their mood. I hadn’t really dated in years before this past year. I gave up on meeting someone years ago for reasons we won’t go into at this moment. Needless to say as I always do I jumped right in with both feet and tried to swim. I sank like a dead body with a weight tied around me though if you ask me. Dating has changed since the last time in the early 90’s when I had done it last. I hadn’t done much of it at that time either. I had gone out with a few guys back then and had a couple of relationships, but I was extremely naïve back then and needy. Not that I wouldn’t say I am still needy cause I do need attention in a relationship, but isn’t that what a relationship is? I mean someone to spend time with and talk to? Over the year I have dated a wide variety of guys. I’ve, as I said, learned a lot. The one thing I know is that if you can’t take how a man is you need to move on. You can’t go into a relationship with a list of demands on what needs to change. I mean you can ask for little things like: “please put the toilet seat down when you’re finished” and he might listen. I really wouldn’t hold my breath, but don’t try changing the big stuff. If he’s into porn that isn’t likely to ever change so if you can’t stand a man who watches porn you need to walk away. If he’s into kinky sex and you’re not walk away. That isn’t a tendency that is likely to change. This isn’t to say a man who spends a lot of time with porn might not find he doesn’t need it anymore once he’s with you, but why take the chance if it’s something you can’t live with? The plain and simple truth in my book is if you’re going to love a man or woman you need to be able to love them warts and all. My dad tells a story of how my aunt came home packing her bags a few months after being married because she was angry that her husband spent so much time hunting. He says my grandmother looked at her and asked her if he did it before they got married. When she said yes my grandmother sent her home because it was something she knew about he did before the marriage. It shouldn’t have been something she asked him to change afterwards. I’ve never understood why certain things were expected to change after marriage myself. Yes dating other people, sleeping around and that sort of thing should change, but having a life shouldn’t. There should be couple time and each should have some individual time. I have never understood why one wouldn’t want to spend a little time apart so that they can miss each other. It makes those times together so much nicer don’t you think? I also think people put way too much stock in stereotypes. We could write a book about the mistakes with stereotyping people of either sex. Not everyone is going to fit a profiled type. Either way you write it down this year has been a journey and an interesting one. For me it’s been one of growth and understanding of both myself and of the opposite sex. The one thing I know is if a person makes you happy while you’re with them and they are attentive and calling and texting then be happy with that. I take the happiness where I find it. I really don’t understand those who have to try to change their mate or worry 24/7 about what the person is doing in the time they are not with them. If they make you happy when you’re together enjoy that time while it last because who knows when it won’t be that way anymore. So as this season turns cold I’ll smile at the lessons learned and at the ones I know are yet to come. Whether they are good lessons or bad ones they are part of life and are what help us to grow.

Yes, I know I'm Needy, But I'm Working On It.

So everyone has things in their personality that they need to work on. I'm not out of the norm where that is concerned. I know this, but it's frustrating. Over the years I have come a long way, but I still have a lot to go. What am I talking about? My neediness. I suppose we should start at the beginning. When I was younger I needed the total attention of the people in my life and if they did things without me it drove me absolutely up a wall and I know I drove them up that same wall and probably twice as fast. It took me a long time to realize that if I am secure in a relationship I don't have to worry about being replaced in someones heart or in their life. It took me an even longer time to realize people could care about and love multiple people and that just because a friend had a party that I wasn't a part of didn't mean they didn't care. It's even harder I suppose when you're a female that chooses mainly male friends. I mean after all they can't exactly take you out on their date with them now can they?

Sometimes I wonder if in this blog I get way too personal, but the thing is that I try not to lie or have secrets. You see they have a tendency to come back and bite you in the ass and it's just too much for my blond (sometimes) head to try to remember what story was told to whom, so I try to tell the truth. With this I guess I just feel since my life is an open book for the most part what can it hurt, but then as I date I wonder if the stuff I write could scare someone away. If it did though would that really be bad seeing as this is who I am and I want someone to want to be with me for me just the way i am. So where am I going with this and how does it pertain to my neediness and my need to work on that. It's simple. I'm very selective about the people I allow into my actual life. It may seem like I have a lot of friends, but if you are my friend you were chosen very carefully to be allowed to know me as more than just an acquaintance. I'm not really sure what it is or how to explain it, but when I meet someone I feel is destined to be in my life I just know it and I want to get to know them. I want them to want to get to know me. So I spend a lot of time asking questions and probably driving them nuts for the first few months as I get to know them and get comfortable with them. I have a need to know they are OK and how they are feeling. Ask my oldest and dearest friends and they will tell you that it is rare for a week to go by without hearing from me on one level or another. When I let you into my life as a true friend you are in my heart and I worry about you. I want to know that your needs are being met and that your life is going well and when it isn't yes I try to mother and fix it or at least lend an ear. Sometimes though I want to know that my friends need to know how I am too and some of them have never let me down or failed me. This is what I need to work on. I know people care about me. I know my friends are living their own lives, but sometimes I get a little bluesy and wonder if they ever think of me. I am needy in that I need to know they are OK. I need to know they are still there. I suppose that is a big fear of mine that I'll wake up and they will be gone or will have died or who knows. So if you're my friend and I'm driving you nuts by sending too many emails or too many IM's or text messages, know that it's only because I love you and I care. You can always tell me to knock it off. I'm there for my friends and my family. It's the fiber that I'm made of. I want to be supportive and I want to be helpful and I want them to know they are loved and cared about. So know that I am working on it. I am working on not being as needy and working on not getting upset if I don't hear from you for a few days. Just try to remember it is because I love you that I am driving you nuts. I don't know if that helps or not, but it is what it is.

Where Monsters Lurk...

You would think I would be afraid of the darkness. I suppose on some level a small part of me is. I just can’t seem to let myself be gripped by the horror of one night. After all I have lived more than one night and I have been out many more nights where nothing went wrong than those that had mishaps. Stubborn, yes, I suppose I am. We are taught as small children to fear what lurks in the darkness. We conjure up images of monsters. Monsters so hideous in appearance that we dare not look them in the face. What I found out that night was that monsters don’t look any different than you or I. Monsters can be found among those that live within the confines of our own little community of acquaintances. Even then what the monsters take from us are nothing compared to the horror of what those we love do afterwards.

The above passage is from a book I’m writing. It seems so fitting with
this topic though I thought I would throw it out there for you to read. So
when you think of monsters do you think of the cute cuddly ones from “Monsters Inc.” or do you think of the horrid nasty little buggers from Aliens? The monsters that are lurking out there that I want to warn you about have names and walk on two legs. They have very little brain power and possess little ability to show signs of being human. I can’t give their last names without getting in trouble or their yahoo id’s or anything like that, but if you have a fear that you may know them feel free to write me and I’ll give you the details. Feel free to ask me questions. There are three guys out on the dating websites who think it’s cute to play games and try to intimidate women. Now on the dating websites one may start to feel too comfortable and at ease. I’m warning you don’t. I recently had two different guys on the sites approach me (I’m currently hidden on all the sites cause I got tired of the bull so I stopped). The first guy sent me a friend request on TAGG. Now I am a very accepting person and will attempt to be friends with almost anyone. I told this guy from the get go that I had no interest in dating him. He asked if we could just be friends, said he was dating a girl named Laurie and all he wanted was friends to talk to since she doesn’t live in Fort Wayne and he gets lonely. I saw nothing wrong with emails to keep him from being lonely if he wanted to send them. Big mistake, learn from me, don’t be that nice. He wanted to yahoo messenger so again, naive as I am I agreed. To this point no harm no fowl, until I get an email with a video of him jacking off. I sent him an email back saying I didn’t appreciate it and he pretended like he sent it in error. I told him I didn’t want anything to do with him and got rid of all his information, forgot to block him though, silly me. A couple of weeks later he pops up on
messenger asking me how my day is. I thought he was a different guy named Mark and responded. Again I got an email with a video, this time with a dark curly haired girl giving him a blow job. I went off on him. I
sent him an email asking him why on earth he would think anyone would want this. He told me I was a hateful woman. I blocked him from yahoo messenger and TAGG and I informed the health club that when I’m there and he’s there I would like a heads up because he creeps me out. Yes, unfortunately this nut bag goes to the same gym as I do. So a day later another yahoo messenger pops up from an id I don’t recognize at all. It turns out this is a guy named CJ that I had emailed a couple of times with on TAGG a month earlier and had no interest in so I had forgotten all about him. I sent him an instant message saying basically sorry I don’t recognize the id, who are you? Well the instant messaging went well for a good portion of the day. We seemed to have a lot in common and it was going well. We were going to get together over the weekend but he dropped off and I didn’t hear from him all weekend and I just assumed he lost interest. So I got a new pop up from him on Tuesday and then again on Wednesday. On Wednesday I was working with my WEBCAM and trying to figure some things out and he pops up and wants to invite himself to view my CAM. I declined his self imposed invite, which just pissed the yell out of this guy. He went nuts and told me I would in no uncertain terms let him view my CAM. He got very verbally abusive called me some very nasty names, told me I was lying to him. I simply responded that I had my rights and that he and I were not dating and I wasn’t sure what he was getting so angry about. He went off again called me an F’N C and a whore and told me he was going to make sure I was very sorry. He told me he didn’t play games. Now this was a little nerve racking, but he didn’t have my home phone number or cell or even my home address. So I was like ok so what are you going to do. I simply told him I was glad I found out about his anger issues before I met him and I’d appreciate it if he would not contact me anymore. He kept going off. I tried to be as apologetic as possible while holding my ground because he does have some seriously dramatic anger problems that he needs help with. This guy is probably the type of guy that likes to beat and strangle a woman during sex. Now that is a scary thought. Except for the fact that someone so psychotic is out there I was actually kind of relieved not to be meeting yet another guy. I kind of think I may have a relationship starting so I wasn’t sure I wanted to go anyway. What is even worse is the next morning I get another Yahoo message from this guy stating that I need to do some serious making up to him for my behavior. HUH? Yeah. Well, as it turns out other women have been bothered by CJ and his buddy Marc. Yes you read it correctly. The two nut jobs know each other. Now I blocked them, and I haven’t heard from either of them since yesterday morning so I am hoping they are smart enough to go away for my sake and for theirs. What these two idiots don’t realize is that picking on me is picking on the wrong girl. I have no qualms with letting friends and family take care of them, taking care of them myself or calling the police. I have a log of every message from these two. I’m thinking I’ll just keep that and give a copy or two to my friends. I actually know where the one works and where both of them live. I’m ahead of the game from what I can tell. Moral of the story here is be careful ladies. I suppose that goes for you guys too after having seen “Fatal Attraction.” The monsters that lurk out there don’t look any different than you or I. I do have pictures of both of these guys and I hear there is a third that works with them too. If you want to be safe I have their yahoo ids and information as well. So if you have questions ladies let me know offline I’ll be more than happy to share any information you want. One just never knows where monsters lurk.

Online Scammers - Don’t Be A Victim

So a lot of you know that I have been evaluating dating websites. I'm trying to decide if they are a good thing or a bad thing. This was done at the request of one of the websites I'm evaluating. I have to say that although I think I may have found a couple of possibilities for possible future relationships, there has been more aggravation than good as far as I can find. It seems to me, and maybe I'm being unfair, that a great majority of the people on these sites have no desire to find a real relationship, but simply want to see if they can "hookup". I am not here to talk about that sort of thing in this particular article though, so let me get on with the topic at hand. Schemers seem to crawl out of the woodwork's on these sites. It seems that they feel if you are on this site you must be desperate, which I for one am not and I doubt seriously if several of these people on here are. There are people that steal pictures off the Internet and make up a fictitious name and set out to see if they can find lonely hearts, tell them what they want to hear and then relieve them of cash. There are several facets to these scams so you really have to be on your feet. First of all anyone who professes love and devotion and they have never ever met you... get real, especially when they have only been sending you emails for a week. I have had not one, not two, but three of these schemers on my sites so far. All of them couldn't live without me and I was the only person on the planet they could trust. One wanted me to send him money because he lost his luggage and his wallet was in his luggage. now I don't mean to be mean but if you're a big enough dumb ass as to pack your wallet in your luggage instead of having it on you, then you may actually deserve to be in a foreign county with no money. I know that sounds mean, but it's how I feel. Uh, let me see do I send you money. Hell No! Then one of course was traveling out of the country, left his twelve year old son in he states, and lost his wallet. Oh NO! No Money, no friends in the states and I'm his only hope. It gets better with this one though because he wants me to actually receive a Western Union transfer of money from his 'client' and then Western Union him the money. My questions were many. He didn't like I asked them. First of all why are you trusting someone you don't know with your money? Why can't your client just wire you the money or why can't the person watching your son do it? I researched this to see where either scam comes in because it seems innocent enough to receive money by Western Union... Right? Well, if you want to be a "MULE" for money laundering or be the one who is receiving funds from someone who has been scammed by one of these idiots then yeah go ahead and accept it. You could end up in prison on federal charges. You read it right. You could be an accessory after the fact or if you don't do prison you could be liable for all the money that was taken from the scandalized person. Money orders, cashiers checks and regular checks in general can all be forged and fake and you can be liable for all that money as well. If you don't know the person, don't do money transactions with them. This is especially true if they are out of the country. I can't believe I've had three of them. I am going to share a couple of their emails just to let you see what I'm talking about. These people will always try to get personal information from you. One of them wanted my banking information for a money transfer. Yeah right. I wasn't born yesterday, or the day before for that matter. Here are some examples: Whatever you do don't be a victim.
+
+

Dear Sheila

Life is so unpredictable. changes always come along, in big or small ways. I don't know hat happened that this sudden change has turned my world upside down. I don't know exactly it was that hit me, but there is something really special about you.

It might be all the things i see on the surface, the things that everyone notices and admires about you, qualities, capabilities.... (it goes on and on like this)

Only the most special things in my world get to come inside my heart and stay. And now I realize how deeply my life has been touched by you.

From,
Terry

+
+
Good Morning:

How are you doing? I just can't sleeping thinking and dreaming of you angel, your thought is always in mine heart. I love nothing more than being with you. (more drivel)
Plenty of love,
Terry
+
+
And YES two of the three were named Terry.
+
Here is something else to remember too... They try to play on your sympathy. All three of these men who tried to do this to me were single dads raising a son alone who needs a mother. One said his wife died of cancer, one died in a motor accident, and one simply ran off and wanted nothing further to do with him or his son. They all at one time or another pretend to have the son type on the yahoo messenger. Theses people make calls to your home. they try to seem as real as possible. They give you phone numbers where you can call them. These are scams. Don't be taken in. Don't be a victim. If you think it sounds too good to be true, it almost always is.

Laugh, Love & Live

It may not always be easy, but try to laugh. Life really is too short to walk around with ones head hung low. It may not always be easy, but find a way to push the disappointments to the side. We all have them. We all have days when our pockets are empty on funds, our world feels as if it’s falling apart and it appears not a soul on the planet cares whether we live or die, but there is always someone who cares. It always amazes me when I find out people have talked about me whether good or bad, because I’ve always walked through life assuming no one gave a damn enough about me to say a single thing. I’m always amazed and awed. I’m flawed, I’m human and I hurt just like anyone else, but for the most part I try to see the good. Recently I had one friend bad mouthing another one of my friends. The problem I had with this wasn’t that the person had issues with the other, it was that the one they were putting down had done so much for them and was still attempting to on many levels and it bothered me that they would run them down into the ground to me, especially knowing I was friends with them. I didn’t feel it appropriate and it bothered me a lot. Not surprisingly this person has run me down to other people who have told me about it as well. I just have to shake my head. I could let it get me down because I do care about him, but I’m not going to waste my energy at this point. Then this past week was filled with a multitude of emotional questions. There is a guy I think I like a lot, but I’m not sure if it will go anywhere. That is so nerve racking. It’s not that he doesn’t like me, I know he does, it’s just I guess I don’t trust anything until it happens and I want someone to want to be with me regardless of things… more obstacles. I hate obstacles and how they leave me feeling, but again I refuse to be down. I am not saying I don’t take days where I cry my eyes out and feel like giving up because I do. I think everyone has those days, but I have learned that you have to push yourself past that, pick yourself up and dust yourself off. I’ve come too far down a road to health and happiness to let little stumbling blocks like financial woes, not knowing about someone whether it work out and friends who can’t prove they are worthy get me down. Life is golden and should be cherished. So find a reason to smile and laugh every day. You can choose to let life drag you down or you can beat it back, say yeah I know you won, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to care. Laugh, love and live life to the fullest. It’s really all we have.