Some people might argue the point that love can be painful. I suppose they would be correct. Even if it isn’t love sometimes it can tug at your heart. The plain and simple truth to me though is that it is better to take the chance and live in the moment of happiness. Some people never enjoy the happiness they have in the moment because they are too worried about what may or may not happen tomorrow. I’m not saying I don’t ever worry, I do. I’m just saying that you have to grab on to whatever bits and pieces of happiness you can find in life. I guard my heart very closely due to past experience, but as of late I have tried not to guard it so closely that I can’t feel in the moment. Most days I am happy and run about my life content and looking forward to each and every day. Days like today though find me a little blue and melancholy. They find me pondering if I should put the walls back up around my heart or continue to feel. I opt to feel. Life really is too short to miss every opportunity and I know way too many people who spend their time alone because they are afraid to take a chance and to grab on to what is offered. My neighbor, Don Wall, passed away on Saturday, May 15, 2010. In a previous article I spoke of him. I admired the man. He was 86 years old. He had married a girl out of high school, one he cared for and one he came to love with all his heart. He told me once that to make a relationship work and to make it turn to love you have to be willing to over look the small stuff and work on understanding the bigger issues and working through them. I can work on almost anything, but I have trouble when someone lies to me, even if it’s to protect my feelings. I suppose that is because I have been let down so many times and lied to over some pretty serious stuff. I want honesty. I give honesty to a relationship. If I am dating you I will tell you the truth or say nothing at all. I do not lie to the person I date because I do not expect them to lie to me, not even to spare my feelings. Where am I in my life? I am getting ready to turn 43. I have maybe 6 to 7 years to have a baby if I want one, which part of me does, but not without a partner. I’m not one of those women who want to raise a child on my own. I’m working on getting in shape. I hope to have that completed in the next 6 to 9 months. I want a partner and a friend. I think marriage has a better chance of succeeding if you are great friends, good lovers and love grows. I don’t know though. Maybe I have it all wrong. We’ll see where life takes me over the next couple of years. I do know even if I get hurt though I will keep allowing my heart to reach out to others. Life is better with love in it. There are so many different levels of love and there is a lot to be had and to give. I know people, divorced, who fear letting anyone else in. I can understand this, especially if they have been burned, but life wasn’t meant to be spent alone and no matter how close we may be to brothers, sisters, parents, friends, the 
freedom and bond you share and the comfort you have with a lover is something that can’t be compared. I think it would be sad to go all ones life without one and trust me I did so for 17 years. I let a lot of hurt and fear creep in. I was afraid to let myself feel. I still am to some degree. I like to think I am growing though and learning and becoming more secure in who I am and what I want. I like me I believe for the first time in my life. I like who I am becoming and that is partly in thanks to someone I have been seeing and it’s largely due to my desire to better myself and actually experience my life instead of hide it away. Yes, if you open yourself up to love you may be hurt. It happens. With my ex, David, I got hurt. There was a lot of bad, but even now I wouldn’t trade the good memories I had with him for anything. They are memories. They are a part of me. I love the song, “The Dance”, by Garth Brooks. It pretty much says it all doesn’t it?"The Dance"
Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared 'neath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known that you'd ever say goodbye
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd have had to miss the dance
Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn't I a king
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd have had to miss the dance
Yes my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I'd have had to miss the dance
