A Lie By Any Other Name

Me, around 5 years old.

I don't like lies and I don't like to lie. As a matter of fact most often times I am way too honest with people for my own good. It is something that leaves a bad taste in their mouths most often because as I have often heard it said, there is nothing that can quiet hurt as bad as being faced with the truth. A lot of times in my own defense though the things I say I don't think about. I'm not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing, but I have always just been a person who liked to tell it like it is. So if I've ever said something to hurt your feelings it probably wasn't intended that way. I am human though and I will tell you this, the person who says they have never under any circumstance lied, is probably lying to you. There is a difference in people though. Some people can lie and never feel an ounce of guilt about it. Some lie like there is no tomorrow. Some so much so that they don't really even remember what the truth is. Me? When I have to lie to someone, especially someone I love it hurts and it haunts me.

So what did I lie about that is haunting me today? And how can I be saying it on the Internet for everyone to see? Well, that is easy. I lied to my mom and unless one of you tell her she'll never know, unless things don't go well and I have to tell her. You see today I went over to see my mom like I do everyday before going to work. She was telling me about the neighbor lady across the street who is like sixty-three I believe she said. She had been talking to her last week and had noticed the lady had short hair, where as last year she had long hair. Mom had made some comment to her like "oh, You cut your hair." She said the woman just nodded and said nothing. Then late last week she had seen the woman and she had a cap on. Mom didn't think anything of it until yesterday when she spoke to the woman's husband. He told her how my neighbor was fighting and had been fighting breast cancer for the last year of her life. My mom stopped dead middle a sentence and looked at me and asked hey you just had a breast exam; how did it go? I looked away from her and then back and said "I'm fine mom. All is well." If she knew it might not be all she would do is worry herself sick and probably me to. In all honesty my thinking is that I am probably telling her the truth. I mean I've got the pictures and I have the doctors notes saying that it probably is. I meet with my doctor on the 28Th to decide if I want a surgeon to look at everything or if I want to wait until July or August and have another mammogram to see if anything has grown. So maybe it wasn't a lie. Maybe it was what my aunt would call a FIB or a little white lie. Sigh, no a lie is a lie and I feel badly about it. No matter how I sugar coat it up a lie by any other name would be the same.