Don't you just love the phrase "There is a light at the end of the tunnel!". Most people throw that at you to try to cheer you up when you're depressed and I say it's great that they are trying to help, but most of us know whether that light at the end of a tunnel is just a light or really a train. I mean every time you go to make a decision in your life there is this little voice telling you to either go for it or run like hell in the other direction. Or am I crazy? Well, that is another story. Recently I had to make one of those hard decisions. It was one that I was telling myself I didn't have to make. For months I made myself believe there was another options, but I knew deep inside it had come down to only one solution. It just wasn't something I saw myself doing, but that is one of life's hard lessons I suppose. I also know I spent some time talking with a friend this weekend and he is older and wiser. Even told me I could knock him in the head with a frying pan if I saw him making the same mistake again. What is better is I have it in writing! Either way, I know with the economy the way it is and work being fleeting at best and floundering elsewhere that it is easy to get depressed over the slightest thing. It's something we really have to dig deep inside ourselves and find the strength not to be depressed. I know I work on it every day and usually I do good at talking myself through it and picking myself up and bringing my mood back to jolly. But even I have days where it all just seems like it is too much. I guess I just believe what my mother (again isn't she great?) has always told me. That there is always someone else out there is is in worse shape than me and that I should be thankful every day for everything I have and have been given, even if all it is, is another chance to set it right. So train or shinning light I'll travel the tunnel and see where it takes me. If you're down and need an ear or a pen pal to just listen or even give a wavering bit of advise or sympathy, or even apathy. You know how to get in touch with me. Keep the chin up and listen for the whistle!
1 comment:
thank you sheila... humm well my problem is i dont really want to talk all about it. maybe becouse when i do it looks all superficial...but then to me it isnt. lol it really isnt about money. been this way with or without money. it isnt really about my mom eithor. been lonely with or without her. though without her really sucks. like in her final years she really couldnt get out and about. sharing the internet wiht her would have been very cool. sigh...you know i used to spend all my vacation time with her and dad even when i was in the military. but i think deep down inside its all the woulda and coulda and shoulda ofs in life. i know its true becouse it hurts to write it. i've been having moody problems since i was born it seems like. but, as an adult i can now pinpoint what brings on the depression even if it is a silly thing. like a change in work hours or something. so post this please and let someone else know that depression is real and it really hurts and if your like me and have a fear of the outside or unknown its not easy even if you have lived your life to the fullest by other peoples standards sometimes you may feel you havent meet your own standards.
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