Day Two, One Word - PAIN!

I promise I won't write about my walk everyday, but I wanted you to know that day two went on without any hesitation. Well, maybe a little.

As you can see here on the left, it's not quiet as pretty as it was yesterday, but I guess it gave me some diversity in my walk. I got home from my part time gig of merchandising around noon. In case you don't know what that is it entails lifting boxes, and replacing old merchandise on the shelves with new merchandise. Requires a lot of reaching and bending. I did that for two and a half hours this morning. Yippee. Upon getting home it was time for all the medicines and they require food so I took care of that. Put in some more laundry. Didn't really want to deal with the walk due to the fact that cold, wet weather and my arthritis are not friends. My body was aching from the arthritis. My feet have blisters from yesterdays walk and my legs and back were sore from my morning activities. Not the least of which there was the weather. It was raining out when I got home. But the doctor told me to find a way everyday. Now I will admit he's going to have to settle for 6 out of 7 cause I really don't have any free time most Fridays if I work, so some Fridays yes, some Friday's no. I almost didn't do my walk today, but then I got to thinking and we all know that is dangerous for me. Yet what went through my mind is that nothing in life is free or without pain if it's worth having. I have learned that lesson way too many times. I do want my blood pressure to regulate. I do want to be medication free. I do want the constant infections (lets face it three at one time is no where near normal) to stop. I want to buy a pair of slacks and not have to shop in the "PLUS" sizes. I don't want to be one of those statistics that dies at fifty because they didn't take care of themselves and have everyone talking about poor Sheila. So, I put on socks and tennis shoe's, grabbed my umbrella and my Walkman and out the door I went. It had stopped raining, but it was still really gloom. Since WOWO does Rush Limbaugh from noon to three I had to choose another station. Just as well, I needed something more upbeat to keep me going today. I chose an oldies seventies and eighties rock classics station. Yeah that would push me along. First part of the walk wasn't bad. My new found favorite sign was

cheering both me and the weather on as it beamed "Brighten UP". I know it was an advertisement, but it just seemed so appropriate. Funny thing is I think the weather listened cause when I got back to the Indiana Department of Transportation and was ready to turn around the sun came out and up as if on command. The pain in my legs was pretty bad at this point. Believe it or not I looked up and another sign cheering me on. It said don't let knee pain slow you down. I know another advertisement, but you have to admit it's kind of funny. As soon as I got in, got the socks and shoes off, got some liquids I sent my friend Ida a note to let her know that I had completed my walk for the day. Today's walk was one hour in length. She says she hasn't done hers yet, but as soon as her daughter gets home. Come on! You can do it Ida! Anyone else out there walking? Anyone found me that treadmill yet? Well, that is my walk on day two. Guess I just need to keep trucking. Get up and get moving, isn't that what the Indiana health website says?

Me, WOWO and You!

So I managed my first walk today. Did a fifty minute walk in my own neighborhood. I put on my Walkman and listened to WOWO radio. I Love to listen to them except for when Rush Limbaugh is on there and I personally think he's a complete idiot so I won't listen to their radio program when he's on it. The other hosts I don't always agree with their opinions but I respect most of what they say so I listen. In my walk I saw a lot of things, like this auto or digital sign up above that is right in front of the Indiana Department of Transportation. I really think this sign is way too cool! The plot of land that sits in front of the Indiana Department of Transportation though has been for sale for the last ten years that I have lived in this neighborhood. I think they have trouble selling this property because there is only one way in and out of this neighborhood making it not the easiest place in the world to get in and out of for a business. Either way I am happy it sits empty because less traffic. It would be a good location for some business though and look at it this way they wouldn't have to worry about the ice and snow in the winter not being plowed. Those guys are on top of it, I know. I saw a lot of things on my walk. Two dead snakes and a dead chipmunk... along with two praying mantis. What a cool insect the praying mantis is. I love looking at them. They are way too cool. I did help the one out of the road and onto the grass. I was afraid he would get squished. So I made it through my first walk. I do need a treadmill really bad so I can walk after work in my house and being that I am infinitely poor if anyone knows of where I could pick one up cheap I'd be happy to know where. I thought it only fair that I took you along for my walk though so I made sure to click several pictures with my cell phone and posted them on here. It was also nice to see neighbors throwing up there hand in support of my walk. I also stopped and took the time to talk to one of my neighbors who is still going through his wife's stuff. He lost his wife in September after sixty three years of marriage, but he's doing his best to go on. I admire his spirit and spunk. So I challenge each and everyone of you to get a walk program of your own going and if you feel so inclined send me some of your own pictures that you take on these walks to post. I would love to share them. What is it they say... Get up and get moving! Oh and try not to lose your heads like these guys here below.

Personal Update on Me

OK, so no new picture here. I really don't like my pictures so if I find one I like or find OK it's probably the one you're going to see. This one was taken about 4 years ago. Went to the doctors today, something I rarely enjoy in any form or fashion. I was pleasantly surprised that my doctor was currently out of the country ( I like my doctor, but a new perspective never hurts) and there was this other doctor there to check me out today. He sat there and went through my entire folder with me. He reviewed every surgery, every illness and all my test for the last couple of years with me. He took my blood pressure, he gave me a physical and actually asked questions and listened. I almost had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming. I liked him a lot. What he found is as usual I have multiple issues and infections. Nothing new. The one most worrisome at the moment is a sinus/ear infection and a polyp found in my nose. Yippee... Good news when I weighed in today I am currently 96 pounds down since November last year. Yeah Me! Still a long way to go. So I have new meds. The antibiotic is Aomoxicil and Clavul 875 mg twice a day with a Mucinex DM Maximum strength chaser. Sigh... I would do anything at this point though to get rid of the sore throats and headaches. I also have an appointment with an ENT on the 23rd of October. We'll see how that goes. Oh and does anyone feel like walking? I have been told that it is imperative that I start walking thirty minutes - uninterrupted walks every day. Gotta work that into my schedule somewhere. Always more fun with a friend. Well, that is it for now. Guess it's time to head off to work. Sunny so I can take it!

Sunday, October 5th Marks 10 Years

I made it! Ten years at this company tomorrow. Whew! So far about 9 1/2 was about my limit. I hope to retire from where I am now, but you never know, especially with this wavering economy. I have worked a lot of jobs over the last, ugh, twenty six years. Mostly part time jobs as I worked full time jobs and most of the time went to school while doing that. I guess I just never really knew what I wanted to be when I grew up, besides a millionaire. Nope haven't made it to that one yet. Guess I have to just keep trying. Would be nice to work at something you love and not just have to work to pay the bills. I wonder if the few people out there that have it that lucky actually realize just how lucky they really are. My guess is they don't. Believe it or not I still remember what it was like to work when I really didn't have to. Those carefree days of living at home with mom and dad. When of course I was a teenager and knew everything. So much so that I couldn't wait to get into the working world and get out of their house and start living my own life. Boy what I would give to go back to those days of living under their house and just working for money to get the items I want instead of need. As Irony would have it too, no matter how much we try to tell today's youth that this is indeed the best years of their life and that they should relish the pre-work days, they won't listen. Remember they know it all and we are just a bunch of silly people who couldn't possibly understand. Either way I look forward to and dread retirement all at the same time. I mean what do you do when you finally don't have to work? Not to mention my fears that so many loved ones may be lost and gone by then. Living in the here and now sometimes is so hard, because I know how fast the approaching future will be here. I know how much today will seem as if it were merely a dream. How I will long for these days back even though one might wonder at this moment why. I know why. It's a fleeting thought to think that some day it will all be gone and I'll be basically counting down to my own demise. For now though I celebrate my own achievement of making it ten years at a company that is really good to work for. I know some of the people out there that work with me may be saying "what is she talking about?" but trust me I have worked a lot of jobs and they all have their frustrations, but this one is paid well and has good benefits. I've worked harder for a lot less. I'm thankful for my blessings you might say. So for now I'm going to enjoy life the best I can and I'm counting down to Wednesday when I can go to the new target and look at purses. Below here is a picture of one of my favorites in my collection. Well, happy trails to you, until we meet again. Or at least until tomorrow. Ten years! Whew Who!

Watch Out, Target Opens Next Wednesday!

Wednesday October 8, 2008

The new Target will open it's doors this next coming Wednesday, but I thought I'd make you all jealous and tell you that I got to take a sneak peak inside today. It's huge! Let me also tell you that it's lucky that as I was walking around the store today they were not open cause I'd have probably done some serious damage to my wallet. The merchandise is wonderful. Especially the purses ladies. I have a purse fetish, don't ask me why cause I don't know. This Target store is set up the opposite of the other two though. When you walk in the doors your clothing is on the right and everything else to the left. I would advise everyone to get out there this week and check it out. I think it's going to be a wonderful addition to the Fort Wayne shopping scene and just in time for the holiday shopping.

A Party For Katie

My first cousin Matt's daughter Katie turned four years old on September 18Th. It seems like only yesterday she was the apple of her grandpa's eye. And as I sat there watching the festivities and watching a little girl having so much fun I thought back to her first birthday party and how much her grandpa wanted to be there, but couldn't be. It was the day they started him on morphine and the decent into losing his battle with COPD. I'm sure he would have her spoiled rotten if he were still here and I couldn't help but wonder if his son was having some of the same thoughts I had. His eldest son who finally on that Day in December told his dad it's OK dad, it's OK if you have to go. I remember how sad he was at his daughters first birthday party and how he talked a lot about how he could never let go. He didn't know how to live with out his dad around. Only a couple of months before he did lose his dad. I also thought about how young he was to be losing his dad and how lucky I am to still have mine. But as well as some fleeting sad thoughts at Katie's party there were happy thoughts of a little girl that looks so much like her grandmother that her grandpa would surely have been calling her little Jib. Jib is a nickname for my aunt Arlene. Don't know how she got it. I'm sure I need to find out at some point. I know my aunt and I spoke of my uncle outside. If he had lived she and he would have been married thirty years on their anniversary in September of this year. If he had lived. That just seems such an odd thing to say. A sad thought to me though is how my aunt could sit there outside at her grand daughters party and smoke a cigarette after watching her husband die such a horrible death of COPD. If you don't know what that is it's a disease that makes it basically like you are drowning. You slowly lose the ability to breath. It gets worse and worse until you can't. Her choice, but she's lost so many to those smokes she cherishes so much. Her dad to bone and lung cancer, and her mother as well. Then her husband of course. But an addiction is an addiction I suppose and I'm told it's awfully hard to give them up once you're addicted. I for one am glad I was never addicted to them. I just can't imagine. I have friends that smoke and I respect their rights to do it. I just hope none of them have to pay the price for it. Either way the party went well for Katie. She loved her gifts, especially the car she got from her mom and dad. Princess car that is. She won't be driving to Walmarts or anywhere - at least not yet. And if you look closely at her dads arm you will notice he had her face tattooed on his arm. On the other arm he has a tattoo of praying hands and his dads name. I guess he's chosen to place what he holds closest to his heart on his arms. He really loves his little girl. You can tell that whenever you see him with her and I can attest that there was no one who loved that little girl more dearly than the grandpa she will never know.

The Journey...

Looking back through my life I must admit it's been one heck of a journey. The turns, the roadblocks and tumbling hills of my memories all there for me in my mind. I'm lucky to have these memories whether good or bad. Our life's journey is what makes us who we are today. It's how we learn, and how we grow. Facing our mistakes and hoping never to repeat them. Dreaming of a better tomorrow, but not so much that we forget that no matter what is going on life can be good in the present. In the moment that we so often forget to be thankful for. Trying to remember that things can always be worse. There is always someone less fortunate. That is easier said then done though on a day from hell that we all seem to have periodically. And lets face it, we can only basically judge life from where we see it at each moment.
So as I've gone down this journey of life and my time of soul searching I look back over many memories. Memories of going south to a little town called Pippa Passes, Kentucky with my mom and dad to see my grandmothers. Unfortunately I never had the opportunity to know either of my grandpa's. My dad's dad died when he was six years old and my mom's dad died when I was sixteen months old. I did tell my mom about what I thought was a dream of my grandpa and she said it was a memory though. So who says a sixteen month old won't remember? It was of my grandpa packing me in his arms and my brother walking beside us to the hog pins and me peering through the wooden post fence to look at them. It's one memory but one I've held onto all my life. Then there is the little mom and pop gas stations that I use to love our stops at where we were allowed to get a cold pop out of the cooler and a treat of some type. The pop was often luke warm instead of cold and it was generally flavored. I thought it was the best thing though. There were the trips to town and how I awed at it's difference to the towns here in Fort Wayne. The trips to the Ben Franklin store where I couldn't wait to spend my money that mom and dad had given me for the trip. Seeing all the cousins and aunts and uncles and all the large gatherings. Then there was simply sitting on the porch and listening to the stories of days gone by. They were simpler times and all thankfully embedded in my memory and good Lord willing they always will be a part of me. They are a part of my journey that brought me to where I am today. They are a time I look back on with fondness and sometimes long for them to be again, knowing they never will and that this is simply the way it is. Also knowing that I am lucky to have grown up in a time when I could still witness family and friends gathering and simply talking and being together. A time when life was easier, but folks somehow thought the times were hard. A part of my journey in this life.