Judge Not...

I am the queen of over thinking things. Lately my hormones (due to medications) have been a raging mess. I cry at the drop of a hat. Commercials make me cry. Now if you know anything about me you know I am not the type to cry easy so this is really screwing with my head. Then with the fact that my mind is constantly going you know I’m bound to make mistakes. Oh, well. I have always tried not to judge other people and let them live their lives. I let them make their mistakes without my imputing my two cents to make them feel worse when it falls apart, but I am human and as a human we judge things all the time. We judge people by how they walk, how they speak, how they dress and even who they date or hang out with. We make pre-conceived opinions based on stereo types that society has set in place. We judge foods, and jobs as well as books and movies and music. The bible tells us not to judge unless we want to be judged, well I have found the last few times I’ve been judgmental about anything it has come back to bite me in the ass. My biggest problem I have with judging people is I have a tendency to expect people to react like people from my past. I know everyone has been hurt, but I carry scars that appear to cause me to keep making the same mistakes. I expect people to let me down eventually. I look for it. I wait for it. It shocks me when they don’t or when I assume they have and I find out they haven’t. It’s a learning experience I suppose. Hopefully it’s one that doesn’t keep happening and doesn’t cost me happiness. Recently someone asked me what I want out of life and out of a relationship with a man. It’s easy really. Out of life I want enough money to pay my bills, a place to rest my head and for my body to be in shape and healthy. Out of a relationship I want my best friend. I want someone who is willing to share everything with me whether it’s their heartbreak and tears or their laughter and smiles. I want someone who even when they aren’t in the mood will still give me a reassuring hug or touch. I want someone I can depend on and someone who depends on me. I want honesty. I think honesty is the key to everything and yet sometimes I forget to open my mouth and offer it. I want someone I don’t have fear with. I want someone I can be proud of and someone who is proud of me. I want someone I could see being a good dad and a good lover. I want someone who can give me guidance and advice and can do it lovingly. I guess you could say I want it all. Hey don’t judge me. Doesn’t everyone want it all? So I’ll keep trying to judge not I suppose. What about you?