I am forever more an optimistic pessimist. Yeah I know... how can one be both. I go into relationships, no matter work or friendship with the best of hopes and the belief that everything is going to be great. Yet in the back of my mind is this little voice that tells me that once again I am putting way too much faith in my fellow mankind. This week has been hard on my heart and my soul in many ways, but it's just another stop along a bumpy road. Not that anything tragic or awful has happened. I just hate when people try to berate people I care about to me and it seems it was coming out of every corner or the universe at me this week. I also hate when people try to make me feel guilty because I am taking care of me and don't have enough time to spend every waking moment with them anymore. I know I don't have a lot of time, but I try to make the time I do have quality. This week I am tired emotionally and physically. I fight for my friendships until I feel that I've had to fight to hard and that the work is taking more out of me than I can handle. I had that happen this past week too. I tried three different times over the week to make plans with someone I consider a friend. They blew me off all three times and I didn't text them or call them all week. I never heard from them. I do care about them, but i just don't feel I should have to fight that hard to get to be around them so I have basically taken out the shovel and dug a six by six... question is will the casket get lowered and covered or will they come through for me eventually. Who knows... I know we all go through these things and I know I have friends that care a great deal about me. I do, but sometimes when someone disappoints you it's hard to remember that. Sometimes no matter how sweet the lemonade you still taste the lemons. The bitterness bites at your taste buds. If you like things bitter I guess that isn't bad, but me I'm still looking for the fairy tale life where people remember you have feelings and care enough not to tramp on them. To my friends that are there to support me, I love you dearly and I do appreciate each and everyone of you... Every once in a while life just deals us lemons, and sometimes you have to use the whole bag of sugar when making lemonade.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Sometimes All You Taste Is The Lemons...
I am forever more an optimistic pessimist. Yeah I know... how can one be both. I go into relationships, no matter work or friendship with the best of hopes and the belief that everything is going to be great. Yet in the back of my mind is this little voice that tells me that once again I am putting way too much faith in my fellow mankind. This week has been hard on my heart and my soul in many ways, but it's just another stop along a bumpy road. Not that anything tragic or awful has happened. I just hate when people try to berate people I care about to me and it seems it was coming out of every corner or the universe at me this week. I also hate when people try to make me feel guilty because I am taking care of me and don't have enough time to spend every waking moment with them anymore. I know I don't have a lot of time, but I try to make the time I do have quality. This week I am tired emotionally and physically. I fight for my friendships until I feel that I've had to fight to hard and that the work is taking more out of me than I can handle. I had that happen this past week too. I tried three different times over the week to make plans with someone I consider a friend. They blew me off all three times and I didn't text them or call them all week. I never heard from them. I do care about them, but i just don't feel I should have to fight that hard to get to be around them so I have basically taken out the shovel and dug a six by six... question is will the casket get lowered and covered or will they come through for me eventually. Who knows... I know we all go through these things and I know I have friends that care a great deal about me. I do, but sometimes when someone disappoints you it's hard to remember that. Sometimes no matter how sweet the lemonade you still taste the lemons. The bitterness bites at your taste buds. If you like things bitter I guess that isn't bad, but me I'm still looking for the fairy tale life where people remember you have feelings and care enough not to tramp on them. To my friends that are there to support me, I love you dearly and I do appreciate each and everyone of you... Every once in a while life just deals us lemons, and sometimes you have to use the whole bag of sugar when making lemonade.
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1 comment:
hi sheila :) i like your lemonade :) never the less you look fantastic. first of all that is only the devil working threw people when you are doing what you need to do. ok. its the devil. these people dont even know they are being used for its purpose. so keep what you have to do for yourself becouse you look fantastic my friend. now 2nd of all i'm going to give you some advice my way too busy indianapolis friend told me years ago. she said that when you have to work for something like that. and work hard perhaps thats God telling you not to pursue it. now my indy friend was talking about buying a house that day. but, indy friend and i have talked about this in context of men, overtime, etc. its an old saying that has helped me back up and say you know what. it really isnt worth it. and if it comes back to me then i will know what its really about.
take care my friend. God has blessed me with another chance of life. i was in a trailor last sunday and it broke and about fell over. unknown to me as i was sitting on my forklift. lol i laught now but i was shitty then.
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