Fragile Life Only Good if Lived

 As my parents get older and more fragile I see the life they've lived over and over in my mind.  I believe they've had a good life and a happy one.  It's hard to think of a day when they will not be here to share in my joys and in my sorrows.  It's an awful feeling to know that all you can do is watch and do nothing to really make life better for them sometimes.  Mom has Parkinson which in it's own is a terrible disease that has left her unable to do many things she used to love to do such as garden and cook.  Dad has had to admit more here lately that he's no longer able to do what he once can and recently was in the hospital on a stay over night for the first time ever in his life.  That is saying a lot for someone who is seventy-six years old.  He's been lucky most of his life to have had the good Lord bless him with health.   It was scary that morning he woke me up to take him to the hospital.  He's not the kind of man who wants to even go to the doctor no matter what, let alone the hospital, so it scared me.  It took me back in my mind to a few years ago when he had melanoma and I was so afraid we would lose him then.  I know that day will come though I do dread it so.  I've had cousins who have lost their mates.  My cousin Bonnie lost her husband a little over four years ago and my cousin Kat lost hers a little over a month ago.  They lost their dad a few years back.  I look at that and wonder how they go on, but I know as my aunt said you just do because you have to.  My aunt lost her husband and both her parents.  My parents lost their parents.  It seems like a cycle that is foreboding.   We often hear people say we are not promised a tomorrow.  Well we aren't and I understand more with each passing day what that means.  I try to live my life to the best of my ability and I play and laugh.  Sometimes I'm not the most adult person one might say.  I love to go in the store aisles and play with the noisy toys.  I like to poke fun at people I love.  I like to go to movies and play games.  I like to go to zoo's and play with building blocks.  I guess I just don't want to grow up.  The Lord has blessed me to find someone to be with who lets me be an over grown kid.  I'm very happy to have found him or did he find me?  Either way I know that life is fragile.  It's also fleeting and can be gone in the blink of an eye.  In the end though it's not how long we are here on this earth but how well we live, laugh and love.  To Bonnie and Kat and my Aunt I would say the men you loved left too soon but they left a stamp on your heart that filled you with the warmth of truly having been loved.  That is something that a lot of people never know.  True love is fleeting and you may not have had it as long as you would like to have had it but you did have it and no one can take that away from you.  You've lived in those standards more than some ever get to live, laughed with an honest roar and loved in a way some will never know.   So life is fragile and only good if lived.  You are all still living so live, laugh and love often. Embrace your kids, your cousins and all your kin.  Life is fragile and precious.  To my love I say thank you for making me laugh and letting me be me.