Growing up in my family was definitely a life full of love. I had wonderful parents and multiple other influences to guide me. One of my most memorable was my grandmother Lula. Lully as her family and her friends called her. She and I were exactly fifty-nine years apart in age. We were both born on June 27 at a quarter till midnight. She sadly died when I was sixteen years old in 1983 from an unknown illness that had kept her in the hospital for many months. To this day I recall walking into that hospital the day after Thanksgiving and having my uncle tell us my grandmother had died. Well, at least her brain had died. Machines kept her heart beating and blood coursing through her veins. My grandmother had always been a stout lady. My aunt told me I needed to go in and see my grandmother to say good bye. I did. To this day I regret that. The woman lying in that bed wasn't the stout figure of a woman I remembered. This woman was very thin and very frail. There were so many tubes and wires hooked up to her. Her body twitched as the machine pumped life into her body. Her eyelids fluttered. It wasn't a picture I would wish to keep with me for the rest of my life and to tell you the truth I believe it was what sent me into a rather deep depression for many years to follow that. It was what it was though. It's the past. Something none of us can change and something we may not want to change if we could see how differently our lives would be, perhaps we have the correct and better path. My grandmother had always seemed to be quiet happy; however, I often wonder now as a grown up if that wasn't just a show for when people where there. I mean she lived in a holler with her grown son, who was mentally not quiet right. She saw friends on occasion and for the most part she kept a garden, stabled horses, sold eggs and made quilts. The most gorgeous quilts. Either way I remember hearing her say on more than one occasion that people need to enjoy life while they have their health because nothing matters if you don't have your health. She was so wise. She was always saying something that I wish I had kept a journal and written it all down. So much wisdom. So much I would love to ask her now if only I could. Today took me back to that time. Took me back to her saying your health is everything. I don't know if I had food poisoning today (Monday) or what. Perhaps my body was just revolting because I broke the diet this past weekend that I had stuck to for over four weeks. A diet high in protein, light in sodium and breads. I took a weekend and let myself eat regular foods. Perhaps my body was telling me no. What ever the reason today was rough. I wanted to get an extra walk in because it was so gorgeous, but that wasn't to be in the cards. I did manage to get one in though. Lately since I have been exercising and dieting I have been feeling so much healthier and better, but today I felt like my life was dwindling. I was having severe abdominal pain and nausea. I just wanted to get home and sleep. I did make it home and I did feel better but I am still not doing great and it's going to be a long night. I suppose it's just one of those lessons reaching out to tell me to appreciate it when I can. Appreciate when I feel good and the weather is nice. Today wasn't the greatest, but there are others who have it a lot worse. Hopefully tomorrow is a better day and yes grandma I do appreciate the days when I feel well.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
My Grandmother's Wisdom...
Growing up in my family was definitely a life full of love. I had wonderful parents and multiple other influences to guide me. One of my most memorable was my grandmother Lula. Lully as her family and her friends called her. She and I were exactly fifty-nine years apart in age. We were both born on June 27 at a quarter till midnight. She sadly died when I was sixteen years old in 1983 from an unknown illness that had kept her in the hospital for many months. To this day I recall walking into that hospital the day after Thanksgiving and having my uncle tell us my grandmother had died. Well, at least her brain had died. Machines kept her heart beating and blood coursing through her veins. My grandmother had always been a stout lady. My aunt told me I needed to go in and see my grandmother to say good bye. I did. To this day I regret that. The woman lying in that bed wasn't the stout figure of a woman I remembered. This woman was very thin and very frail. There were so many tubes and wires hooked up to her. Her body twitched as the machine pumped life into her body. Her eyelids fluttered. It wasn't a picture I would wish to keep with me for the rest of my life and to tell you the truth I believe it was what sent me into a rather deep depression for many years to follow that. It was what it was though. It's the past. Something none of us can change and something we may not want to change if we could see how differently our lives would be, perhaps we have the correct and better path. My grandmother had always seemed to be quiet happy; however, I often wonder now as a grown up if that wasn't just a show for when people where there. I mean she lived in a holler with her grown son, who was mentally not quiet right. She saw friends on occasion and for the most part she kept a garden, stabled horses, sold eggs and made quilts. The most gorgeous quilts. Either way I remember hearing her say on more than one occasion that people need to enjoy life while they have their health because nothing matters if you don't have your health. She was so wise. She was always saying something that I wish I had kept a journal and written it all down. So much wisdom. So much I would love to ask her now if only I could. Today took me back to that time. Took me back to her saying your health is everything. I don't know if I had food poisoning today (Monday) or what. Perhaps my body was just revolting because I broke the diet this past weekend that I had stuck to for over four weeks. A diet high in protein, light in sodium and breads. I took a weekend and let myself eat regular foods. Perhaps my body was telling me no. What ever the reason today was rough. I wanted to get an extra walk in because it was so gorgeous, but that wasn't to be in the cards. I did manage to get one in though. Lately since I have been exercising and dieting I have been feeling so much healthier and better, but today I felt like my life was dwindling. I was having severe abdominal pain and nausea. I just wanted to get home and sleep. I did make it home and I did feel better but I am still not doing great and it's going to be a long night. I suppose it's just one of those lessons reaching out to tell me to appreciate it when I can. Appreciate when I feel good and the weather is nice. Today wasn't the greatest, but there are others who have it a lot worse. Hopefully tomorrow is a better day and yes grandma I do appreciate the days when I feel well.
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I wish I had written down all the things grandma told us. All those things now, you know they knew what they were talking about. I too have discovered the days I feel well I need to enjoy them. Tomorrow I may not feel as well or worse may not live through it. I splearged on Monday and went to Taco Bell (Ok, Splerged for me) and got food and went to the park. I sat at a picnic table in the park eating my Taco Bell. It was warm and sunny and pieceful.
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