Pete Petersen

 

There are some special people that God put upon this earth just to show us how to live our lives and how we should be always to each other.  Pete Petersen was one of those people.  The smile you see in this picture was always on his face.  I’m sure he had rough days and there were days when he didn’t feel like smiling but he always put forth his best effort to make certain that whomever he was speaking with felt how much he truly cared about them.  He loved everyone like Jesus said we are to do.  Now I know there were people he had to pray hard to get the strength to be nice too, but he was always nice.  He always went out of his way to see that we children were taken care of.  He cared for his neighbors and his family with all his heart.  There are so many memories I have of this man.  I wonder if he ever knew what an impact he had on my life.  I have the following email sent to me every year on the anniversary of his death.  Not as a reminder that he died but as a reminder to thank God for having put him in my life. 

It’s hard to believe that has been ten years since this wonderful soul left this world and went to be with God in heaven. 

To his children I want to say thank you for sharing him with the rest of us and I know you know how blessed you were to have him as a dad.

Tomorrow, Friday, January 26, 2024, I challenge all of you to do something extra special for someone.  An act of kindness.  Pay for someone’s lunch, complement someone on their outfit or just give them an ear to listen.  You’re always in my heart Pete. 

 

God’s Not Dead!

If you have not watched the series of movies, “God’s No Dead”, you really don’t know what you’re missing. They are moving and compelling and they really do get to the heart of what is going on in the world we live in today. They are also based on true stories of things that have happened.

The first one follows a student who refuses to be bullied into writing God is dead on a piece of paper and turning it into a philosophy professor. This is the actual case that started the whole movie series. In the class the professor says we might as well dispatch with this fallacy upfront and then we don’t have to waste the whole semester with that portion of the debate. One student in the whole class refused to compromise his belief in God to satisfy this teacher and pass his class. The admiration I have for this student as I watched this was inspiring. To see how many were just so willing to sign that paper and go on. As Christians we need to stand up for our faith and for God. It’s what we are called to do.

In the second one a history teacher answers a history question. Yes Jesus is history. (His life is a historical fact whether a person chooses to believe He was the Messiah or not.) The history question asked by the student to the teacher was comparing the teachings of Jesus and the teachings of Gandhi. The teacher did nothing wrong in answering the question and only answered the question as it pertained to history but then she is put on trial for saying the name of Jesus in class. This also is another tale of a person who stood up for her faith and refused to be bullied by threat of loss of job into stating something she did not believe or taking a plea to get it over with. 

In the third one there is a priest who is being told he move his church off the university campus where it has resided for decades after it burns down. This one follows how it burned down, the discourse of family and the fight to do what is right with the desire of human nature. It also shows that even someone of great faith can have a moment of weakness. 

The fourth one takes on home schooling and the governments attempt to tell them that they can not teach religion and give them a curriculum they must follow. It delves into the rights of the government to not only tell us how to raise our children but what we can and can not teach them. In this they were following the regular school curriculum along with a religious class with a group of neighborhood children all of the same religious faith. This one delves into civil rights and shows how there is no truth to how people believe in the separation of church and state the way people quote it verses how it was actually written. There is actually nothing in the constitution that states this. It was addressed in a letter from Thomas Jefferson where he is explaining that the constitution is there to ensure that government does not restrict the way a person practices their faith. 

I could watch these movies over and over. They give me strength and they put a smile on my face. I would highly recommend that you watch them regardless of your religious belief’s. The movies tackle the very things that are going on in our society today and as you watch them it becomes very apparent that we should be scared of the way our world is moving. The united states alone has moved from a position of great light to looming darkness in just the past year.

God is good all the time and all the time God is good!

God’s Not Dead!

Without A Warning Or Maybe There Was

 

I’ve always been told my heart is healthy as a horse, so it was a shock to me when I had my heart attack in October. In trying to understand what is going on with me though I have been doing my research as I normally do after something of this nature occurs in my life. I had known for almost two years that I had a condition called bradycardia. What this means is that my heart beats slow for my age, size, etc. My normal heart rate resting is around 52. With activity I sometimes get up in the 60’s and with extreme exercise I might break 90. My doctor had been monitoring it and did not send me to a cardiologist. She told me it was nothing to worry about. I will be getting a new doctor due to her moving out of town, but had thought about it anyway after hearing from the hospital that bradycardia is something I should have had a referral to a cardiologist for. As many of you know I often hid any health issues I had from parents as I didn’t want them to worry and especially the last two years since they had enough to worry about. I’m actually writing this to hopefully inspire some of you not to ignore your health warnings. Especially women. Heart attacks are not just about chest pain. Symptoms can very greatly. I strongly urge you to go on line and check out the symptoms. Women are more likely to have what is called a silent heart attack too, which means there are no symptoms,, so heart health checks as you get older are very important. With this being said I’ll continue my story. So for the last couple of years I have had almost constant nausea and I’ve had several times where I wake up in the middle of the night and have to run to the restroom to vomit. Nothing apparent wrong with me, just out of the blue then gone. I’ve had bouts of dizziness and extreme fatigue that would hit out of nowhere. There were moments where it took every ounce of energy I had to walk across a room. My husband can tell you that I would often tell him I didn’t feel well. He’d ask me what was wrong and say I’m not sure I just feel off. This is listed as a sign of an ailing heart when you go look it up. My appetite hasn’t been there either. I’m a big girl who eats very little. I fill up after a few bites. I also have been burping and had a lot of indigestion and heartburn. Funny fact is all my life the only time I’ve ever had this until now was when I was getting a health issue. So I should have known something was off, but I’ve been taking antacids per the doctors office for some time now. So somehow I feel as though I should have known, but God made sure he let me know that night I had my heart attack. I went to the restroom and as I was walking into the bedroom to go back out where my husband was I coughed very hard and it felt as if all the oxygen was sucked out of my chest. The first thought that went through my mind was do I have pneumonia but I quickly informed myself that doesn’t make sense because it doesn’t come on that quickly. I also felt like all the life had been drained out of me as well. I didn’t want to worry my husband if it were not necessary so I decided to go in and sit down and see how I felt in a couple of minutes. As I sat there the sweat started rolling down my face. My clothes became wet with sweat. A voice inside of me was letting me know I needed to go to the hospital. I calmly told my husband we needed to go to the hospital and assured him it could just be a false alarm. I didn’t want him worried though I knew something wasn’t right. There was a calm in me too though as the Lord God was with me and was comforting me just as He has always stated He will do in your hour of need. I got through this heart attack, but I still have an aneurysm on my right aortic valve in my heart. It could not be stinted. The aneurysm and the artery clogged off all the way. This is what caused me to have the heart attack. Currently I take 4 blood thinners a day and a blood pressure pill along with other meds to try to keep it from clotting off again and to try to get the aneurysm to go away. Funny thing is they say I’ve more than likely had the aneurysm since I was a child. My heart issues, as ironic as it is are not caused from my eating habits and my lifestyle choices. As far as that is concerned. The clotting/clogging I had a little, ok lot, to do with. Can I live a normal length life…. It’s doable. It’s also just as equally optional that I may not. If the aneurysm doesn’t play nice I could say good bye before my time. One never knows, but then that is no different than anyone else. None of us are promised a tomorrow. Thank you God for sending your Son and thank you Jesus for coming into my heart to live. I wrote this to make sure you all get checked for your health, but while we are here you might also want to get right with God. Time isn’t a guarantee. The only guarantee is that we will eventually die and when we do He will either know us or He won’t. 

Matthew 10:33

“But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.”

I love you all very much. I may not like your lifestyle or I may not be on good terms with you at this moment; but I’d lay down my life for all of you and I hope to see you all in Heaven some wonderful bright day.

 

2019-2021

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little depressed as of late. It’s hard not to be with the last two years of life. What keeps me going in my husband, my church and God. What a ride this time of my life has been. I’m not stranger to death. He’s been a huge part of my life since I was sixteen years of age. I often jokingly talk about the fact that I know more dead people than live ones, but it’s really not a joking matter. It’s a truth to some degree. The thing is I wouldn’t trade one minute of the life and having known and been apart of the life of each and every one of those people who were in my life and who are now gone. A part of them will always live as long as I’m alive because I carry them with me in my heart and in my memories. My first major impact from death was my grandmother Lula Ann Richardson Short. My grandmother, my dads mom, and I were both born on June 27^th at 11:45pm, 59 years apart. She was a generous and loving soul who loved the Lord our God and loved her family with all her heart. I can see her very clearly in my mind and even hear her voice although she died on November 27, 1983. Some of my fondest memories are of times spent with her at her home. She always had a second hand box of toys and clothes for us from the “exchange”. She had big meals for us and would always take food to whomever was walking up the path past the house. So many memories flood my mind when I think of her. I can’t think of a single bad memory, except for losing her. That year would prove extremely hard for me as I would lose a classmate to suicide and one to a car accident that year. I would also be informed of my other grandmother’s cancer shortly after Christmas. My mom’s mother Jezzie Ann Slone would pass away on June 26, 1985. One day before my 18^th birthday. I was the one who took the call that she had died and I was the one to tell my mother. It seems this would become a pattern with me sharing this type of bad news with my mother. Over the years I would lose count of how many per year died. My uncle Roger’s death hit me pretty hard as he was always there for me when I needed to talk without judgement. He was a kind and loving man who walked through this life and his death with dignity. Then there was my friend Jeff who was a bit of a jokester and always pulled pranks that some might find not so funny but it was who he was. His sister called me at work on my cell to tell me he had died. I thought she was joking, but he had fallen off of a ladder while trying to change a light bulb. He had the flu and they assume he got dizzy. It was so unexpected and I remember sitting at my desk at work in shock at first then tears. Then there was my friend Rob Hogg who came out from Texas and spent two weeks here with us for the Christmas holiday in 2011. Rob and I saw each other every single day for two weeks. We went shopping, went to Christmas parties, and generally just hung out and talked. He and I had attended Elmhurst High School together and we were catching up on all the time between school and then. Rob left my house on January 1, 2012 to head back to Texas. I’m very thankful for the time he and I got to spend together, as his boss would call my phone early in the morning of January 5^th. I was confused and asked why she had his phone. She told me that Rob had a major heart attack and had passed away at work that night. I took on the roll of calling his brother to let him know. Again I got to relay bad news. For months everywhere we had been together in those two weeks made me cry when I was there. His death was not in vain though as he was an organ donor and helped over 82 people to live better lives. Over the past few years I’ve lost many aunts, uncles, friends: Ellis Slone, Larry Thomas, Jackie Slone, Gertie Watson, Monroe Slone, Wendall Watson, Bonnie Slone Thomas, Doyle Dean Thomas, Jeremy Karst and my daddy Dewey Short just to name a few. There are many more I could list. I carry them all with me everyday. I see different things that remind me of them either around or on Facebook. So I’m no stranger to death. I do believe I’ve had more than my fair share, but I know others who’ve had more. I don’t wallow in it the way I may have once upon a time. Death no longer scares me or even has that much of an effect on me. I mean I do get sad and it really does depend on whether I believe the person was a born again Christian or not, but I believe in God and I believe those that ask for forgiveness and repent are not truly gone. They may not be in their earthly bodies but they live on. In 2019 a death of another kind occurred as a job I worked for twenty-one years was going away. It was a hard thing to hear but I put my faith in God. I knew he would watch over me. I worked three months for the 911 center and struggled with the people there. Their odd sense of what was wrong and right and ok and not ok was off putting to say the least. I loved it during training but when they put me on the floor they put me with the self proclaimed goddess of the center. I couldn’t ask questions. If I asked any questions about anything I was being argumentative. I sat there basically most of the time afraid to say anything. This was not a good learning scenario for me. I made up my mind before I ever went to nights I no longer wanted to be there. Except for a couple of really nice people most of them were pompous and rude. Things that are clearly not acceptable in a business environment were common place. The training program was not good once you got to the floor as they assumed you knew things. I found out one thing the night before I stopped working there that would have been a great help on their screens. They assumed I knew their screens with their maps were set up N, S, W and E, top to bottom and side to side. It made sense once I heard it but no one had ever said that and it never dawned on me. It was also a very hard time for me to be in that center because I was going through a change that I really didn’t realize at the time. I was finding my path to opening my heart to let Jesus in. The things that were said, the language I found offensive. I literally sat there between calls writing prayers to God for help in being there. I wanted out, but I had nowhere to go. I did meet a wonderful lady named Candace there that I believe God let me see before she left so that I could know even in all the darkness there can be a light with Him. I was so happy to be done with that job. I sat down that first night and started communicating with a new possible job. I was working a week later for a new place. I really liked most of the people there. It seemed as if it was a good fit, but I quickly found out that it was a place where if you didn’t kiss the feet of the manager over the department I was in you were not really welcome. I was thrown to the wolves when they fired one employee and another just quit to try to do some things I wasn’t trained for. I tried my best though and gave it my best effort. To no avail it would appear. I helped them find someone I respect to hire in and they did. As soon as they did though they gave me a mundane job that really was not even necessary. I tried to do things to keep busy but often found I had little to nothing to do. I started writing a manual to try to be productive. That wasn’t really appreciated either. My dad and I both asked Jesus into our hearts in the fall of 2019. I was baptised on November 10, 2019. For me this was the start of an inner peace like I had never known. In 2020 my job had COVID shut down on March 24^th we were all told we would be back, possible bonus to come back and that we would probably be back in June. None of that happened. My daddy got sick right about the time they were ready to call back employees. Lots of decisions had to be made and I really put work on the back burner in my life. We almost lost Daddy on August 12, 2019. On the morning of the 13^th I was told he would never wake up and that it was only a matter of time, but God knew better. A male nurse there told me only God knows to not give up hope. At the end of that week we brought my daddy home on hospice. He had survived to the doctors disbelief; however, it was only a momentary reprieve. The water that they had taken out in surgery was coming back quickly. Daddy would never walk again and it was only a matter of time until death would take him. In that time my brother and I set out to make sure whatever my daddy needed he got. Time became precious. My aunt Jib helped out and my friend Juanita helped out. The fist month at home other than being frustrated he couldn’t walk and was now dependent on everyone’s help dad had a good time of fellowship with family, friends and church members. In this time I grew close to my dad again. I watched him and my mother and I knew life was about to change and never be the same again. Some days were harder than others, but again I wouldn’t change it. Outsiders, or people who were only around periodically accused me of not doing enough. I took advantage of getting rest when other people were there. I needed to. I was physically and mentally exhausted but this didn’t keep the judgment from being placed. My brother did more than his fare share of helping. He stayed a lot of times with mom and dad. In the last month of dad’s life I think he was there every night. Inside my heart was breaking, but outside I stayed strong. That is the way I was raised to be. Pull up the chin and fight the valiant fight. My husband stayed strong by my side. He did what I requested. He was wanting to help and willing to help but that didn’t keep people from judging him either. I learned a lot about people during that time. During those couple of months my dad made his peace with his life and with his family. He was ready to go. We lost him on October 31, 2020. Still no time to sit and grieve. We had a funeral to plan and my mother to think about. The funeral home and the funeral all seem like a blurr. A few things stick out like the fact that my mother refused to barely ever leave my dads side. She wanted to be where ever he was. Then there was the funeral day where we learned right before service that my cousin Jackie had passed away that morning. That was a hard thing to hear but we had dad’s funeral to get through so mourning for my cousin would have to wait as well. It struck me how much my dad was always there for everyone. He went out of his way and always went to family funerals as long as he possibly could get there. Yet there were so few people at his funeral. I mean there were enough and I know it is COVID times, but as I recall the good book tells us to take care of each other. We are to be there for the sick and the hurting. We did have one family friend that traveled several hours from Ohio to pay her respects, Tammy, She had a doctors appointment that afternoon and could only stay a few moments. She hugged mom and mom had a big ole smile. Tammy exhibits the way God would want all of us to act. It truly touched my heart. We did have great friends and family there, don’t get me wrong. I love and thank everyone of them for being there. It was just something that crossed my mind. Over the next couple of months we got my mother moved into my brothers home and we started the process of going through the personal belongings of my parents. This led to many a memory and many a tear shed. We had to get ready for an estate sale and we had to get the house ready to sale. Dad was a good provider and he managed on very little pay what most would never manage, but there wasn’t much in the way of money left after the funeral. Paying for mom’s upkeep has been hard on my brother to say the least. I need insurance or I would have stayed off and helped with mom. In August I also had started classes at Ivy Tech. So during all this time I was taking a couple of classes as well. When I didn’t have a job it wasn’t that hard to do, but in December I knew I needed to start looking hard for a job and I did. I started my new job on January 4, 2021. So far I love it. I need to make more money, but I love the people, the place and the job. Through May I had classes and a new job with classes. That was a really tough time. I didn’t get to see mom much, I was always stuck with my nose in a book and again people started accusing me of not doing my part. It hurts when you’re doing your best and you still get called out on the carpet as if you’re a cat that just peed there. Just saying. Anyway the stress started to take a toll and I started having blood pressure issues, lots of headaches, nausea, and just most days felt over all ill. I stayed diligent though. I gave my life over to God. I let him lead me. I ask for his forgiveness and I put my troubles in his hands. I know He has blessed me in so many ways and he reminds me daily that He knows my heart. He knows my deeds and that is all that matters. What other people think or believe they know doesn’t really matter. I do know that right now we need to get our house sold so that we can have money to take care of mom. Jake and I also need to be able to move on with our lives rather than being in this state of limbo we are in. Mom goes in and out of knowing stages. God blesses me with people in my life who love me and help me in every way they can. If I’ve learned anything in my life after all these years it’s that we need to get up every day and count our blessings and not our woe's. Everyone has something good and something bad in their life going on at any given time, but one is happier and better off to get up in the morning and thank God for all the blessings you do have in your life. God loves us all. He gave us freedom of choice because He wants us to freely choose him, not be forced to. God is a loving and caring God. Letting him in my heart and accepting his Grace is the BEST thing I’ve ever done. Thank you Lord for this day and this life.

I’m convinced I am the queen of odd dreams: I’ve listed three of them here for your entertainment

My Dreams

Uncle Orbin and the Ketchup

“One night I woke with a start from the oddest dream. I was working as a waitress in a restaurant on the top of an embankment somewhere in the mountains. The road to the restaurant was small and rustic like a log cabin might be; however, I distinctly remember looking at it from the road perspective and it was a multi-story cabin with lots of steps and a huge wrap around porch on it. I remember being very happy in my activities of cleaning tables and having a few customers but not many. I remember greeting my uncle as he walked into the restaurant.  In my dream I remember being very happy to see him. He said nothing to me at all. He just walked up to the table, took the bottle of ketchup, opened it and poured it out and smeared it all over the table. I said nothing to him, but quickly cleaned the table off. Still not saying anything he grabbed a ketchup bottled, opened it and repeated the previous action. I woke up at this point so I totally have no idea what the point of this dream was.”

The School Bus and the Specter

“Last night I had this dream. My husband and I were going on a trip with some people I do not know. We had been at some museum or something of that nature. We were waiting in line to catch a bus to take us back to our cars where we had parked. We waited and waited and finally got on a bus. We noticed there was no driver. All of a sudden this cartoon like ghost appeared to drive us. She told us her name was Felicity and she’d be our driver. We started on our journey and people were talking and laughing and we were having a conversation with Felicity. I asked her her name again because I knew it started with an “F” but I couldn’t quite remember it. She told me. I noticed the scenery outside was icy and snowy and we were driving up a mountain that the road was not that wide. The guy that sat behind Felicity asked her to marry him (Weird right?) and she got excited left the wheel and flew into his lap which sent us careening over the embankment into an icy pond. No one was hurt but all of a sudden the bus was back together, we were all dry and a guy ghost asked us to board. I asked what happened to Felicity and she was in what looked like a trophy case in the side of the mountain and she was trapped and couldn’t get out. Locked in so to speak. He said since she messed up she is being punished and is behind the glass and must watch and is locked in. I walked up to the case and broke the glass and my alarm went off so that is all I know. Have no ide what on earth this dream is about.”

Living on Dale Drive Again

“This dream I had kind of jumped around a lot so it was pretty hard to follow; however, in the dream I do know that my brother and I both lived on Dale Drive in Waynedale a few houses apart. I also know that he, my mom and my husband were planning a trip to Kentucky, why I wasn’t going I have no idea, but I wanted to see them off. There was a small restaurant with an auto repair garage on the back of it being run by an Italian man and woman. Obvious Mafia activity going on in this building. I knew in my dream that they had a chop shop on the other side of town where they would take cars they stole out of the parking lot of their restaurant to. I knew this family that ran the restaurant very well and they seemed to like me. I was in there picking something up and realized I needed to head off to see my brother and family off on their trip. Again there was snow on the ground, but it was flat land, obviously the Fort Wayne area. I went out in what looked like a big circle for a parking lot and low and behold my car was gone. I stormed back in and told the woman that her husbands men had taken my car. She gave me a note and a number and sent me off to get my car from the chop shop. I caught them before they did anything and came back to the shop to tell the wife. She wanted me to go through and see her husband who gave me a special flashlight and told me what a good kid I was? Anyway I went out and got in my car, almost got in the wrong one, and drove off to meet my family before their trip. Again I was awakened so this is where it stopped. 

Time is Not the Enemy

This picture was taken on July 20, 2019.  My dad loved buffet's.  This was at the Great Wall in Park West Plaza.  Our family tried to get together at least once a week for as long as I can remember.  It got harder as illness and disease set in for my mom and dad as they got older but we still tried.  We didn't necessarily spend a long time there but every week for an hour or two our family caught up on each other's lives and tried our best to enjoy time together.  In today's society family's spend so little time actually together.  When I was growing up we were more involved with each other as a family unit.  I personally feel sorry for the youth of today who will never know what it is like to sit on the porch and listen to old timers telling stories of days gone by.  It was so much more interesting that anything you could see in a video game or on television.  I also feel sorry for those that are addicted to computers, cellphones and video games.  They are so into being on their social media accounts that they have no time for the here and the now.  They don't know what is happening right around them.  They are missing out on the precious moments in life that will never come again.  If they can not see what is in front of them, then how can see the face of God or hear His word.  

I miss the days of going to family's homes and visiting.  I miss the days of playing bad mitten or horse shoe's.  I miss the days of going to the park or of getting together with family for watermelon and conversation.  Today's youth have no idea what that is.  Family's don't get together anymore.  They have no time for such things as they have to work long hours to pay for material things in this world of greed and selfishness.  I know it's a year of Covid and people are scared of it.  Each has a right in their own to feel how they feel about it.  No one should chastise anyone for wearing a mask or for not wearing a mask.  None of us knows what the reasoning the other has.  It's not ours to judge.  The person wearing the mask may have severe lung issues that should they get a cold or pneumonia its all over for them.  The person not wearing a mask may be suffering from post traumatic distress.  Even if the person is just being a butt in your opinion why make such a fuss?  Does the Father not watch out for us all?  Now, I know in saying this I'm going to get flack from the large group of people out there that are going to sight law and governors mandates and hatred for masks and everything else.  First off, it's not a law.  There is no LAW that states you have to wear a mask.  Can they make your life miserable yes.  Do most people go along with either because they agree with it or they don't want to rock the boat.  Yes.  Are there meme's on both sides of it I find funny.... well yes.  You either laugh in life or cry and I choose to laugh.  If you don't want to wear a mask... don't, but remember a business has the right to ask you to leave.  That is their right as a business.  You can put it on or you can leave, unless you have a health concern and even then the business may ask you to leave.  If you are wearing one and see someone without one, it's not hurting you. That is unless you go over and get up in their face.  Just stay six feet away from them and mind your own business and go on with your life.  How hard is that?  If you don't own the business or work for it you have no foot in the race.  If that still upsets you then leave yourself.  No one is making you shop in that store at that time.  My dad was deathly afraid of germs.  He lived 

with O.C.D. (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) his entire life.  I don't know that he would have been able to get through the last few months of his life if he had not found salvation.  God got him through it.  His only true fears were for my mother.  He was so devoted to taking care of her.  I think for him that was the hardest part of being sick.  My parents love and loved all their family.  There is nothing they would not have done for any of them and if they could be there for their family they would.  I was saddened by how few people paid their respect at the death of my dad.  Most people assume that Facebook postings are enough these days. I understand his funeral was on a week day and I understand there is Covid, but it was my actual reaction to it.  There are people who didn't come with legitimate reasons and those I understand, but there are those that used Covid as an excuse and go anywhere they want.  My dad is at peace though and those that loved him spent time talking to him on the phone or came to see him when they could.  My cousin Doyle is resting in peace too, but he never missed an opportunity to come see my parents when he's in town.  I've known family members who didn't bother being only five minutes away.  Do I think it's because they don't love my mom and dad or me?  No, it's just their lives are too busy and they always think there will be a tomorrow.  Tomorrow isn't promised to anyone.  So many lives I've known burnt out in 2019 and 2020.  My mother is still here physically and sometimes mentally but she won't be here with us long either.  I know men who claim to be men of God who put their neighbors and their congregations before their family and believe this is what God has asked them to do.  You can not do one or the other. God would want you to do both.  Be there for both.   It is sad that such men proclaim to be of faith yet will not cross the street to help their own.  It's no wonder that depression and suicide are so high as people put more value into their material objects than they do living the life God gave them. 

My grandmother Lula's favorite song was "Give me the Roses".  It talks about how one should treasure times together while a person is alive and not profess love only when they are gone with flowers.  I have no doubt that Jesus weeps daily as he watches down on the world and the people turn their backs on the glories of a rich life he would have them live.  Not of wealth but of peace and love.  The sins of this world are not born of the Father, but are born out of the hearts of men.  I am grateful for  the couple of months God gave me and my dad.  They were hard months.  They were a lot of work and some of it was very hard to watch, but God gave my dad and I that time I believe as a gift to his children.  He gave dad and I time to heal old wounds and to find that parent child love that had been strained.  It took me a while to really cry more than a little at a time.  That hard cry took a bit, but it did come.  Through all of this though God has embraced me in his arms and helped me through.  God also gave me a husband to lean on and a brother of pure gold.  I pray daily for my brother for taking care of my mom daily is no easy feet. I also pray for all of you reading this.  My soul  

has had so much more peace since I found the Lord and accepted him as my savior.  God is good.  My year has humbled me in so many ways, but through it all He has never left me.  In my heart He reminds me all the time that He is here with me.  I needed to be humbled.  I needed to remember where I came from and what was important.  The Devil will tempt you constantly with doing the wrong thing.  The funny thing is it never brings you satisfaction when you do the wrong thing.  I'm not saying I'm perfect.  I still sin daily and I still have to work at it.  I don't go see my mom as much as I should.  I know that, but it's hard to see her the way she is.  One never knows if she will be there to truly be with you or not.  I pray for her.  It has to be hard to always be afraid and her disease has gotten to that place where she's always in fear of something.

Father, I thank you for Sarah, Chris, Gwen, Daphne, Mitch, Jeannette, Larry, Ashley, Dakota, Ritchie, Aunt Jib and all my other family members.  I thank you for my love Jacob and my pets Bear, Prancer and Tobi.  I thank you for providing a roof above my head and food for my tummy.  I thank you for helping me to find more peace and to know that anger is never the way.  I thank you for giving me the strength to work on myself daily and to get rid of the flaws I have as many as I can.  Lord I would ask that you be with those out there that are lost and do not know you.  I would ask that you help them to see the way and seek the path.  I would ask that you be with the sick and you help to give them and their family's peace and strength.  I also want to thank you for the job that I will start on January 4th.  It will be good to go back to work Lord.  Keep me with you Lord and live within my heart.  I pray this in the name of your precious son Jesus Christ.  Amen.

May God be with you and bless you and your families.  Enjoy time with them while you can.  Be with them.  Forgive them and understand they are human.  

xoxo

 

In My Dreams They Are Still Young

 In my mind and in my dreams you are both still young.  As I sleep we take trips where dad is strong and takes charge.  Mom has no problems moving around or hearing.  In my dreams my dreams nothing has changed.  In the reality of the morning mom sits quietly in her own world.  Her hands are shaking and her knowledge of what all is being said in the room is almost nil.  Sadness fills me for I know her heart is silently breaking.  Her soul mate, my dad, is slowly succumbing to water that is putting pressure on his brain.  In the reality of the day dad eats less, makes less sense when talking and seldom has clear and lucid thoughts.  When he is lucid he understands where he is and what is going on and he tells us he does not want to live this way.  He's no longer capable of walking and most often he can't sit up on his own.  It's heartbreaking to watch and to listen to, as are the tears my mother lets out during times she acknowledges that we are losing dad slowly day by day.   A preacher asked me not too long ago why it was that he, being a preacher, had to live after his wife had died. I told him what I believe in my heart.  Preacher your works is not done. God still has work for you to do.  As we may or may not understand the why of the continued life my parents are living, if you can call it living, there is a purpose. Every day with them in this life has been a gift.  God's not done with them here yet.  As in my dreams I know when God does call them home they will be able to do all the things they can not do now.  They will not hurt, nor will they need for anything.  When God calls them home I will miss them, but I am comforted in the knowledge that it will not be long until I see them again in heaven. Until then they will be forever young in my dreams.